Negative responses from others?

[bumpysam]

Hi all,
Have just started reading my hypnobirthing book and am so inspired and enthused to follow this through. Surprisingly my OH has responded well so far by saying it makes sense and appreciating the fact the father has such a valid and recognised role too. Also my mum seems as interested as me and is SO supportive. Of course these are probably 2 of the most important people in my life, whose opinions are the most important. However, after discussing some of the theory behind hypnobirthing with ladies at work, they seemed quite negative and dismissive. "you're naive if you think it's simple, easy, painless.." etc "she's in for a shock" it was a bit disheartening to hear these reactions. What kind of reactions have you had to natural birthing? And am I being naive and perhaps delluded that my experience of childbirth will be amazing, not as terrible as people make out or that it is on fact part of pregnancy to look forward to?
Thanks for your responses, opinions and experiences. X

 

[MoonMelody]

Stress has a huge impact on how women experience labour pains. Going into the experience with a positive outlook, and using hypnosis as a tool, birth doesn't have to be any sort of nightmare. The power of suggestion can be immense, and when hypnosis focuses on relaxation, it has a huge impact on how the body and the mind responds to the situation. Hypnosis has been used as an anaesthetic during dental surgery. It's not hocus pocus like a lot of people think it is, and it's unfortunate that they can be so judgmental and negative. Education is the way to go! When I've gotten negative reactions in regards to hypnobirthing, I try to show people the footage that's out there of women labouring under hypnosis. It usually opens their eyes quite a bit.

 

[NaturalMomma]

I have only gotten negative comments online, never from anyone I actually know. People want you to believe that birth is this horrible thing that needs to be numbed with by drugs so that you dont' feel anything. They want you to believe that the only way to have a good birth is to be sitting in a hospital bed with medications so you don't feel anything with monitors and IVs chatting up the nurses or whatever. I tried that birth the first time and it was horrible. No one can tell me that childbirth is this horribly painful experience yadda yadda yadda, because I've had a homebirth and it was lovely and I really can't wait to do it again

Go into birth with a positive outlook and also with an open mind. Things can go wrong yes, but no reason for you to think they will go wrong unless a complication arises.

 

[bumpysam]

Education is the way to go! When I've gotten negative reactions in regards to hypnobirthing, I try to show people the footage that's out there of women labouring under hypnosis. It usually opens their eyes quite a bit.

Great idea moonmelody, thank you.

 

[bumpysam]

Thanks naturalmomma, always helpful to gear others' experiences

 

[tink23]

oh I've had the same kind of thing and it really irritates me....I get a lot of "Oh you're brave, especially doing that with your first" and "But it's safer in the hospital why would you have a homebirth?" e.t.c

I hate the way people see it as "brave" - that's totally the wrong way to look at it IMO..society puts fear into women about birth far too much..

Our bodies were made to labour and birth..I feel that women who go into hospital are braver..I feel like if I go into hospital I'll be much less in control than I will be at home and might make choices that I wouldn't necessarily make in my own home. Too much emphasis is placed on the hospitals involvement in birth and as long as the mother and baby are both healthy I don't see why the hospital should be necessary at all!

 

[aob1013]

I think you should definately go into it with a positive outlook, but definately keep an open mind as your labour/delievery could go any way.

 

[Jenniflower]

I put myself in a bubble. I have learned I won't change these women's opinions and that of them who are giving me negative comment have had birth themselves and don't want to believe that it CAN be done without all the meds they took. I try to see it from their side and realize that they're being defensive. I put my bubble on, smile and nod, and then walk away.

 

[MustangGTgirl]

Our bodies were made to labour and birth..I feel that women who go into hospital are braver..I feel like if I go into hospital I'll be much less in control than I will be at home and might make choices that I wouldn't necessarily make in my own home. Too much emphasis is placed on the hospitals involvement in birth and as long as the mother and baby are both healthy I don't see why the hospital should be necessary at all!

I don't know about everybody else but both of the times I have went in to labor, it hurt like freaking hell and I was begging for an epidural (which I got, twice). I am very thankful I did NOT have to go through all of that pain as I had already experienced enough of it during the first 4 hours that I did not have an epidural. I also feel safer at a hospital with many trained professionals around tbh.

 

[Jenniflower]

Our bodies were made to labour and birth..I feel that women who go into hospital are braver..I feel like if I go into hospital I'll be much less in control than I will be at home and might make choices that I wouldn't necessarily make in my own home. Too much emphasis is placed on the hospitals involvement in birth and as long as the mother and baby are both healthy I don't see why the hospital should be necessary at all!

I don't know about everybody else but both of the times I have went in to labor, it hurt like freaking hell and I was begging for an epidural (which I got, twice). I am very thankful I did NOT have to go through all of that pain as I had already experienced enough of it during the first 4 hours that I did not have an epidural. I also feel safer at a hospital with many trained professionals around tbh.

I think that's completely reasonable, the whole concept of birth is to be the most comfortable you can be. For some women that's a hospital, for others it's birth centre and for some it's home. Heck for some it may be in the woods! (Not recommending, just pointing it out! hahaha) I think it's sad when anybody puts a negative light on anyones birthing plan. It wouldn't be right for me to sit here and say what you did was "wrong and I can't believe you would put yourself in that situation, etc..." And most people wouldn't. So it's wrong when people who don't understand natural/homebirths try to say negative things about it. Just not right IMO.

 

[chuck]

These are the kind of women that never realised there were alternatives to 'agony' and 'not being able to cope'.

I've never understood that one, 'I'm worried I wont cope'.

Why wouldnt a woman cope with what their body is supposed to do, it's not like you can just choose to duck out if you decide you can't cope. We have to cope we're designed to cope...we can equip ourselves with better coping mechanisms than drugs and interventions though - and thats what too may people don't recognize.

You certainly arent naive, you're more informed than they are!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Mustang I assure you that unless you plan on free birthing, which to my knowledge no one here is doing, then you have MORE trained professionals to yourself at a home birth than you might have in hospital. When the TWO MWs arrive they are with you for 100% of the time as they have no one else to look after unlike they might on a busy labour ward. So you could argue that you get better care.

As Jeni said no one would be so rude as to comment on your choices to have a hospital birth or that you begged for an epidural - that's your prerogative - so it's really unfair to come on to a thread in that fashion and be so negative about informed women's choices.

it does irritate me that women arent able to show the same kind of respect for one another on this issue.

 

[kiwimama]

It's really sad that some people think it's ok to put down the way another woman wants to birth, just because they don't agree with it or it's not their sort of thing.

I am currently reading my hypnobirthing book and starting my classes tomorrow and everything I've read so far makes so much sense!
Don't let anyone elses comments drag you down. You will have a wonderful, peaceful birth you are looking for!

 

[Dezzy]

I came across this post and had to comment because I encountered a lot of negative comments when I was pregnant and planning my home birth. I think most women just don't understand and all they know is what they see in the media or from their own painful experience.

My experience with having my first daughter in the hospital was horrible...it was a complete nightmare. So yes, I can see why most women would think that if that's how it goes in the hospital than one must be crazy to go it alone at home. But, being hooked up to Iv's and induced with medications can interfere with what a woman's body should do naturally and create problems that might not have existed otherwise.

My second daughter was born at home and it was amazing. But when I was planning this I had women say "how could I put my baby in harm by not being in the hospital". All I can say is there is a severe lack of education around this topic and most people just don't realize there are viable alternatives other than a medicated hospital birth. It's really quite sad.

 

[Bournefree]

^^^
Very well said! xx

 

[lalalistic]

I dont know anything about hypnobirthing but I would like to add that its a real shame that some women feel the need to terrify first time mums with horror stories about birth or say how awful it is.
I'm not going to lie and say its pain free but my labour was fine, I managed with gas and air and do you know what even if I had the worst birth ever and was in loads of pain and loads went wrong, I wouldn't go saying that to every pregnant person I met.
I think there is lots to be said about being positive and I guess open minded.
Bugger what anyone else things. Like you said the people you care about are on board.

 

[smam]

Hiya,

I had my 2nd at home, I didn't use Hynobirthing because I didn't know it existed until after I joined this forum but if I had I would have definitely looked into after reading the birth stories. My encountered alot of negative responses and people saying oh my god you're nuts having him at home especially after having one in hospita. But as an OP has written, I had a horrible experience at the hospital (luckily no health problems but uninterested MW who left me and didn't believe I was ready to push, left to pass out in the shower etc etc). I felt in complete control, very safe and relaxed, I got to 5cms before phoning the MW then got to fully dilated before touching the G&A (the MWS couldn't believe I used less than half a canister)! I also had 4 MWS (2 3rd year students)there and they were amazing, so lovely and respectful, not like the ones in hospital who are rushed off their feet and can't give you the time you need.

My Nan was dead against it and probably the most vocal but in the end she was downstairs when I gave birth and her opinion of HB has completely changed as she saw how relaxed I was and the freedom I had rather than being stuck on a bed like she was when she was in labour. She is now recommending it to people she sees in the street lol! One of the student Mws I had said I had changed her mind on HB and actually having kids as previously she had only been in hospital labour wards which I thought was wonderful

I say bugger what any one else thinks on the subject as its your pregnancy, birth and baby. Any one who says things about Hynobirthing or home birth etc without actually reading up about it is being totally narrow minded. sorry if I have waffled, had a very bad night with little man so I cna hardly string a sentence together

 

[rducky]

Hi Ladies,

I am a nurse and I work in a busy hospital emergency room, so naturally I am surrounded by people who tend to "medicalize" everything.

I have been so lucky to find a wonderful midwife at a birthing centre who will be doing my prenatal care and delivery. ( In Canada, there are very few midwives available in the public system, the average is to go to the hospital for birth and be followed by an obstetrician).

Since finding my midwife and becoming excited about the birthing process in a more homey/natural environment, all I have heard from my coworkers is that I must be crazy, and why would I want to go to a birthing centre because anything can happen and it could be dangerous to the baby. I'm having a hard time dealing with being told this left and right, especially since it is really none of their business

I am glad to have found this thread...I am convinced that I (and DH) made the right choice for us by choosing a midwife, but it's nice to know that there are other people out there who think the same as me!

 

[DazedConfused]

Hi Ladies,

I am a nurse and I work in a busy hospital emergency room, so naturally I am surrounded by people who tend to "medicalize" everything.

I have been so lucky to find a wonderful midwife at a birthing centre who will be doing my prenatal care and delivery. ( In Canada, there are very few midwives available in the public system, the average is to go to the hospital for birth and be followed by an obstetrician).

Since finding my midwife and becoming excited about the birthing process in a more homey/natural environment, all I have heard from my coworkers is that I must be crazy, and why would I want to go to a birthing centre because anything can happen and it could be dangerous to the baby. I'm having a hard time dealing with being told this left and right, especially since it is really none of their business

I am glad to have found this thread...I am convinced that I (and DH) made the right choice for us by choosing a midwife, but it's nice to know that there are other people out there who think the same as me!

So unusual that you guys automatically get a doctor! The only reason we see an OB is if something is wrong. Isn't that what they're for?

Well done on standing up for yourself in the face of such opposition!

 

[rducky]

So unusual that you guys automatically get a doctor! The only reason we see an OB is if something is wrong. Isn't that what they're for?

Well done on standing up for yourself in the face of such opposition!

Yes, I do think that we're going about having babies the wrong way in Canada. I think that women with average pregnancies should have more access to midwives.

I don't know what it's like in other provinces, but where I am, in Montreal (Quebec), we only have 3 birthing centres...We have almost 2 million people living in this city! I know that my midwife, working part-time, only takes 3 pregnant patients per due-date month, with a full-time midwife taking 6 patients per due-date month. I think that there are about 8 midwives working at my birthing centre.

I was on a waiting list until 13 weeks pregnant (I went on the waiting list at 4 weeks pregnant). I found out that I only got my spot because one of her other patients unfortunately had a m/c.

I think I got such a negative response because almost no-one here gets to see a midwife, so they think that it's "wierd" and "dangerous".