Negative responses from others?

[chuck]

Ergh the PA to head called in yesterday (I thought it might be about returning to work part time) she wanted me to fill in my risk assessment - a bit late lol I'm 24 weeks already, they've known since I was 12 weeks!

She asked how everything was going as I was looking well, I said I was feeling very positive after a great MW appt in the week about being able to achieve my HB and if not HB having a positive experience this time around.

You could see the look in her eyes - the gawd woman get over you big kid look and then she said well at the end of the day being in hospital is such a short amount of time on the scale of things and what does it matter if you get a healthy baby?

Not negativity per se but OMFG SHUT UP!!!!! It does matter and no matter how short a negative experience its still negative!

I really had to restrain myself from launching into a tirade about my rights to be part of the experience rather than a piece of meat on a conveyor belt of uncaring practices.

 

[Bournefree]

Well talking about being on a short time scale in hospital - that was one of the reasons why I actually choose HB!

If things are all ticky-boo.. then you stay at home as long as possible anyways (that is the advice - I wonder why? prob because you labour better at home!) then when you are ready, you have to get ready to go to hospital.. get there in the most uncomfortable position (sitting on your bum, strapped in) and in all the adrenaline rush, slows labour down.. get examined (as they all most insist on it), potentially find out your not all that far along - go home again. Or if you are along enough for them to warrant a room for you - have your baby and back home again in 6 hours. Honestly, what is the point!?!?!?
XxX

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw you know i really wanted to do something like this with my first but everything went completely wrong leading to any subsequent pregnancies only having one conclusion - c section - and you know what i actually think i am more terrified of the prospect of being up and about not contracting or anything just sitting and waiting knowing that a big feck off needle and abdominal surgery is coming half an hour later (i am at very high risk of rupture so vbac is not possible) - than i ever was at the prospect of a natural birth

although i do hate the way i was made to feel bad about it from people who didnt know my back story i do still agree that women shouldnt hide their heads in the sand and get themselves really informed, even if they dont use hypnobirthing methods/techniques for use in a home birthing or water birthing situation and still feel safer in a "typical" hospital environment it might just mean that they can just get through it alot more less stressed, paniced, relaxed and have a much more positive experience than well i did lol

i beleive everyone should support each other in what ever birth plan is right for the individual woman but i still believe more support and information should be out there to help all women take advantage of techniques which could encourage a much more positive labour

 

[Amy_K]

Then she said well at the end of the day being in hospital is such a short amount of time on the scale of things and what does it matter if you get a healthy baby?

My MIL said these exact same words to me and because she had 6 kids, all induced, she thinks she is some sort of authority on the subject.

 

[chuck]

I just cant shake of how horrible an experience me and my husband had in hospital I refuse to accept that that is just the way it is.

It shouldn't be and it isnt for everyone so I will not just get over it.

*stamps feet*

 

[Jenniflower]

I just cant shake of how horrible an experience me and my husband had in hospital I refuse to accept that that is just the way it is.

It shouldn't be and it isnt for everyone so I will not just get over it.

*stamps feet*

Damn straight! And you shouldn't. Well I you obviously have to find a way to live with it. But it doesn't mean you bend over and take what's given to you from here on in. You fight for your rights and those of other womens as well since you know what it was like.

I hope to never have to go through what you did. I know I'm in the minority being a first timer having a home birth but it's because of women like you who feel so passionately about natural birthing that caused me to really look into it. Never feel like you have to stop feeling what your feeling! It makes you a more confident birther.

 

[Linzi]

Most people who we've spoken to about it have been very supportive, even though you can tell they maybe don't agree.

Today however I was told that by having a homeirth I'm playing russian roulette with my baby's life. How do you answer that I didn't have a clue what to say to her so I just said "well I feel it's the right choice for me and my family" and then changed the subject. I'd like to be able to stick up for myself more but I'm not very clever or good with words... so I kind of just let people think what they want and get on with it.

But I would like to know how to deal with the situation better in future. I'm confident with our decision and I don't want to be pushed around. I wish I could change the way people see it?

xxx

 

[Jenniflower]

Tell her she plays Russian Roulette every time she gets into a car. Statistically you're more likely to get in a car accident than have to be transfered to the hospital for a homebirth. (I understand those % might be apples vs oranges) But someone put it a good way to me. You wouldn't drive around with an ambulance following you "just in case" and yet anything could happen to you. Home births are amazingly safe and in most cases better because the woman can be more relaxed and in a safer environment. There's no need for it to be so medicalized. Sometimes, yes, but all the time? no.

By the way I'm totally like you. I just smile and nod, usually because someone who makes such a stupid comment like that is obviously ignorant and you wouldn't get through to them anyways. It's nice though to know a few facts for those rare friends that are totally supportive of you, they just have no idea what a home birth really means. Many of mine though it meant an unassisted birth. When I told them I'd have 2 midwives practically at my beckon call they thought that was safer than what they had in the hospital!

 

[Linzi]

Well the thing was she told me her son struggled to breathe at birth & I asked why, he had some mucus or something in his throat. Which I believe would have been dealt with the same way at home as it would in hospital.

I wouldn't mind people shoving their opinion down my throat if they actually knew what they were talking about!!

& that statistic is brilliant Will def use it next time thank you hun

xxx