Nervous about trying for #3 opinions?

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by xZoeyx, Feb 10, 2020.

  1. xZoeyx

    xZoeyx Well-Known Member

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    So I’ll try to keep this short as I can...

    I have a 5 nearly 6 year old boy (March), I also have a just turned 2 year old girl.

    With my first I had a horrendous 50+ hour labour, severe postnatal depression which still affects our bond to this very day.
    With my second the labour was equally as traumatising, having a full blown panic attack on the bed whilst having an epidural because I couldn’t cope with the pain anymore, we were approx 20 or so hours into this labour, but once she was born the bond was instant and she was an absolute dream, she really “fixed me” after my first!

    I’ve always wanted 4, but think I’d settle with 3. And it’s been on my mind non stop for a few months now, but I’m absolutely terrified that I won’t cope. What if the PND comes back? What if this baby is not as good as my daughter was and screams 24/7 or never sleeps like my first! My partner works full time, currently I do not. Financially we would manage. Mentally him and I are in a good place, we’ve been together 13 years nearly. He’s not keen in a third “just yet” but as I tend to do everything I know If I give the green light then he will go along with it lol!

    is there anyone here that struggles with the ones they have but still managed with a third? I do not have babysitters so no one to have any of my kids for a break either!
    Thanks for reading :)
     
  2. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    Hi hun, I have an 8 year old, a 5 year old and a 12 week old baby, I had two straight forward births with my first two but suffered severe PND after my first and I've also suffered a bit with my 3rd, but I've kept it under control with help from my family and my partner. My 3rd labour was the longest, 23 hour induction process and labour took 16 hours! It was long, it was tiring but it was fine honestly. Now having 3 kids I absolutely love it, it's so fun! School runs are interesting with 3 kiddies though I must say! I'd say go for it I've got no regrets about having a 3rd :)
     
  3. xZoeyx

    xZoeyx Well-Known Member

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    Thank you HL.

    it’s daunting to think about the no sleep, everything else I can deal with and during the day I think yes I could definitely do this, I could definitely manage with a newborn, butt hen come 7:30/8pm every night when I’m exhausted I think nope, there’s no way I could even think about having to stay awake for a baby now. It’s a vicious cycle!! And obviously I’m naturally worried about the PND making a return.
     
  4. Moolia

    Moolia Bfp 26/1/11 :)

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    Hi!
    I didn't struggle with my labours but have a similar problem over wanting 3 but hubby not being in the same place as me (I started a thread that's just below yours currently). You are lucky that your partner will go along with it for you; mine is a complete no! I hope some people have some good advice for you. I have heard from people that no one regrets their babies...Good luck whatever you decide
     
  5. Moolia

    Moolia Bfp 26/1/11 :)

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    P.s. my little girl was also born in March 2014 but she is my second so I would have a much bigger age gap than you!
     
  6. Moolia

    Moolia Bfp 26/1/11 :)

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    You are so lucky! Congratulations on your third baby. My hubby has said a firm no and he won't change his mind. I think about it every day to the point where my mind starts considering having an 'accidently-on-purpose'. I would never actually do this to him but it's how strongly I feel. I don't know how to move forward from this point without resenting him
     
  7. xZoeyx

    xZoeyx Well-Known Member

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    Well I’ve definitely decided I want 3. In my mind, everyone else seems to manage, it’s going to be hard at first with no routine and 2 kids to deal with but we will get a routine and then things will be much easier.

    In my mind I’ve decided I’d like a baby born roughly middle of next year, so we would start trying in July/august time this year. I seem to get pregnant almost straight away every time so not worried about it taking a while. Having a date in sight at least gives me time to think hard incase I want to delay!
     
    Moolia likes this.
  8. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well-known member:)

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    Hi hon
    Id say go for it. I have 2 teens from a previous relationship 14 and 17
    We broke up and then I met my husband we have 3 children together. Aged 9 7 and almost 5 months. We are going to try for our 4th and last next year.
    If u feel in ure heart u wud like one more then just go for it if theres nothing stopping you.
    Good luck hon.
     

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