New and starting to get very dis-heartened

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by gypsy1981, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    Hey everyone, I've been looking at this site for a while now but haven't ever got around to introducing myself. I've mainly been using it for advice as I just kinda presumed I would get pregnant within a couple of months.... little did I know about it!

    My hubby and I are now in our 4th month of trying and I was convinced this would be the month as it's my first month of using OPK's so I knew I'd timed it exact. However my AF is due on Saturday/Sunday and I've started getting cramps today :( I took a first response test last night and it was BFN - I feel really dis-heartened now as I was so convinced this was gonna be our month.

    How do you all stay positive? Every time I get my AF I feel like crying and I'm starting to convince myself that something is wrong. I know 4 months doesn't sound like a long time but everyone around us seems to be getting pregnant without even trying!
     
  2. Missclarabel

    Missclarabel Well-Known Member

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    Hi gypsy1981, please don't give up hope just yet!! This is my 3rd cycle trying and I know how disappointing it is to fail but we are both still in the early stages of trying.
    Even when you do everything right, it still is only a chance.
    The thing is to not get too stressed about it as this can make it more difficult o conceive. Also you might still be pregnant!! Some girls I've read about didn't get a BFP until a week after AF was due!!
    All I can say is please not get too down and stay positive! Your time will come and hopefully we will both celebrate our BFP in 2011

    Cx
     
  3. TattooedMamma

    TattooedMamma Well-Known Member

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    Hi :)
    Its really understandable you feel this way.. Im exactly the same, build my hopes up and then have a massive fall when af arrives! We can be so cruel to ourselves..

    We've been trying about 6 months and this cycle we dtd exactly when I ovd.. So now that af is about to arrive, Im thinking possibly there's something wrong. I guess its only natural to think that so try not to beat urself up about

    Massive hugs :hugs: and extra goodluck :dust:
     
  4. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    Thanks for replying, it's re-assuring to hear from people who are in the same situation. It's hard to talk to my hubby about it cos he just thinks I'm being impatient (I'm not the most patient person at the best of times) :)

    I just wish we could be tested to put my mind at ease that there's nothing wrong. It's annoying that you have to try for a year before you can be tested.

    I read somewhere that there's only a 15 - 25% chance of getting pregnant each cycle (depending on your age) so when I'm thining logically I know I should have more patience, but sometimes my emotions take over the logic!

    Good luck to you both! Let's just hope it works out for all of us soon :)
     
  5. pookied

    pookied Mum to 1 and pregnant

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    Hi,gypsy1981
    We have been TTC 18 months now .. And it does get easier with time you begin to accept it.
    But like the other ladies said try not to stress your self out it wont get you no where.
    Just browse through the internet and see if you can find any techniques to ease your mind of stress a bit.
    And you did test early so your still in =] GL ..X



    https://www.myspacefx.net/import/graphics/Baby_Pregnancy_Graphics/trying-to-conceive.gif
    https://lt1f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/qmZPTwi.jpg
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    Diagnosed with PCOS 2010 ...
    *Mia Angel *
    Gail Prediction: conception June 2011..resulting a baby boy 2012 with a further conception of girl twins august 2013!!
     
  6. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    Hi pookied, so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time conceiving! It's weird, we spend our whole lives trying to prevent getting pregnant and panicking at every little mishap, but then when we actually start trying for a baby nothing happens. I just expected it to happen when I was ready for it... I didn't expect to have to wait.

    I'm still holding out hope that I could be pregnant this month as the cramps seem to have stopped again now, but those First Response tests are supposed to be the most accurate on the market so it kinda killed my hopes off. I wish I'd never tested now and held onto the hope for a few more days! :)
     
  7. TattooedMamma

    TattooedMamma Well-Known Member

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    My cramps have also stopped.. weird :/
    How many dpo are you?
     
  8. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    Either 9 or 10. I got my positive OPK on 29th May but I read somewhere that the test shows up positive if you are due to ovulate within the next 36 hours so it could have been the 30th. How many for you?
     
  9. daydreaming22

    daydreaming22 Well-Known Member

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    Dont worry, you are not out yet! I had af like cramps (and still do at 8 wks) that started a bit before af was due. Im sure you will fall pregnant soon. If I may offer a little advice that helped us: I know you are using OPKs but make sure you are dtd at least 3 days before ovulation and every day up to it. Your egg is only viable for a short period of time (12-20 hrs) so you want the sperm there waiting. Also, temping will help you pinpoint ovulation. One month you may ovulate the day after a positive OPK and the next it may be 2 days after the pos opk. Finally, I think what worked for us was was preseed! Its a sperm friendly lubricant that you insert vaginally 10 min before sex. Your ph is MUCH more acidic that the sperm, and many of them will die before having a shot. I fell preg. the first and second month using it (1st ended in mc). What are the odds of 2 months in a row? I hope this is your month, but if not you should seriously look into preseed! Good luck!
     
  10. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    Thanks for the advice, we were actually talking the other night about buying Preseed or Conceive Plus if I'm not pregnant this month. Is preseed the better of the two?

    If you don't mind me asking, how long were you trying before you bought the preseed?

    My cramps have been more regular today, I really do think AF is on it's way :( Feel really bloated as well and have had headaches all day. I'm still praying it's pregnancy but I get the feeling it's not.
     
  11. Charlene_b_x

    Charlene_b_x Well-Known Member

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    When I was pregnant with my son I took a first response test two days before af was due and it was negative!! My af didn't come and I just thought my cycle was irregular from being off the pill, but I was actually pregnant and didn't test Again till 4 weeks later when I was 8 weeks pregnant!! Sometimes the tests do take a while to show up positive x
     
  12. Twinkl3

    Twinkl3 DD - 2014 ♡ DS - 2018

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    Every month for me is a struggle also but I just keep thinking "It will be my turn soon" :)
     
  13. gypsy1981

    gypsy1981 Mum and expecting #2

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    It's hard isn't it? I just never thought it would be something I had to try before, I always just presumed it would happen the first time I didn't use contraception.

    Charlene your little boy is gorgeous, you're so lucky :)
     
  14. daydreaming22

    daydreaming22 Well-Known Member

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    We were not trying but not preventing for 9 YEARS before I used preseed and voila!
     

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