New here, BFP last week :)

[lunamom]

Hi Everyone!

I am 35, and I got a BFP last week, which was a surprise. This is my 7th pregnancy I have a boy 6 yrs and a girl 8 yrs. I had forgotten what it was like to be pregnant. I'm about 5 weeks and I'm trying to stay positive. Pregnancy has never been easy or healthy for me. I'm excited though......my partner is too, although he kind of hates me right now because of my lack of a sense of humour. What a B**tch I am!! and for some reason, I hate his dog whom he insists on lavishing with attention every time I blow up at him, and all of a sudden the smell of her is ticking me off. Someone tell me I'm not crazy...hormone fluctuations are normal right?? Mood swings are par for the course?? I feel alone.....and a little stupid, I just dropped him off at work and did a burn out,....kicking rocks and gravel all over his coworkers cars after I accused him of looking at this other woman (It was early, I had a greasy pony tail, no makeup....hoody, track pants...etc...you get it) Anyway, I`ll never forget the look on his face, it was like he was thinking.....who are you, and what have you done with my woman? would love to hear stories of other women losing it......

 

[Insomniash]

That brought a smile to my face not because I am laughing at you, but because I can totally and completely sympathize with getting that look of confusion right now.

I am being hit particularly hard in my dreams. My guy and I have a great and close relationship but for some reason I keep having dreams about him cheating on/leaving me for another woman. In the one dream the other woman was actually exactly like me but he told me she was an upgrade and I couldn't for the life of me convince him that we were the same person that she was just a little bit taller. It has been so ridiculous. We don't have any history of infidelity in our relationship and no reason to be suspect of it so the dreams are totally off base. The dreams are so vivid and I remember them so well that it takes me a while after I wake up to shake the feelings of sadness/anger/frustration.

This is my/our first child and he is the only person I have been with that I trust enough to share this journey with, so I think these dreams are playing on my vulnerability and fear of being left alone in this process. A completely irrational fear since he is excited and we had discussed everything prior to me becoming pregnant.

He actually asked me before we knew I was pregnant if I was sure I wasn't because I wasn't acting like myself. More confrontational, teary etc...turns out he was right lol. He has been pretty good about the whole thing, but I know the odd time he is wishing he could fast forward through this pregnancy to get to the end result and back to me being well....me.