New thread for recent losses TTC before the would have been due date...join me! :) xx

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by bubbles82, Dec 6, 2012.

  1. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies...

    I recently suffered an early loss, not sure how far I was due to crazy cycles beforehand, but I tested positive after a late AF at 16dpo, but at 20dpo I started getting bad cramps and bleeding heavily. So I think I was around 5 weeks.

    I am finding it tough to deal with, but trying to stay positive and trying to take small comfort from at least now knowing I can get pregnant which I didn't know before after 6 months TTC and nothing, and that if it had to happen it happened early which should mean I can get back to normal cycles quicker, although of course it still breaks my heart that all this has happened.

    I know some people advise to wait a while before TTC, to give yourself chance to heal properly and have a normal cycle, but I don't feel like I have time to waste now I'm nearly 31 and don't know how many more losses I have to go through before my forever baby. I also don't want to wait for a full natural cycle when I have no idea how long that could be, so I'm going to TTC again straight away and hope I ovulate within the next few weeks. I personally think I need to focus on TTC again to help heal the hurt of the loss.

    Anyway, now I've lost my Christmas BFP, I thought I'd set myself a new milestone to focus on, in achieving my next BFP before the would've been due date, which I believe was end of July/beginning of August next year. I saw there is already a thread for this, but it was started some time ago, and it seems to now be full of ladies who got their BFP and are expecting their babies in the next few weeks or months. So happy for them all, but thought a new thread was required for recent losses hoping to have some much needed luck and catch our rainbows!

    Who's with me?!
     
  2. tinyfootsteps

    tinyfootsteps Well-Known Member

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    Hi Bubbles,

    Firstly, sorry for your loss.

    I've also recently had an early M/C at 7 weeks. I thought I was coping well with it (as well as you could expect under the circumstances anyway) but this morning I had to ring up and cancel my booking-in appointment and first scan (which would've been on Christmas eve). When the lady on the phone asked for a reason for the cancellations I told her I had a M/C and burst out crying. It was much harder than I thought it would be. My other half now wants to wait (until an undecided time) to try again. I don't really want to wait but I guess there is some sense in it especially if I'm not coping emotionally.

    My due date would have been the 9th July 2013. So it would be nice to aim to have a BFP by then. :winkwink:

    All the best xx
     
  3. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Hi chick,

    Really sorry for your loss too, I can imagine how hard it was having to cancel those appointments. Fortunately I didn't even get that far, in a way it's like I expected a loss and I didn't even bother making a doctors appointment when I started getting positive tests.

    Hope you start to feel better soon, it probably is best to wait to TTC again until you feel fully ready, it's such a personal choice, I just feel like it's best for me to keep focusing on the future to get me through the difficult times now, I have to stay positive that I will get my sticky bean soon, and it feels like the sooner I get back to it, the sooner that day will be. I know that may sound strange but it's different for everyone I guess.

    Some days I think I'm totally fine about it then it suddenly hits me when I'm not expecting it, and I suddenly cry a lot and feel physically heartbroken, then I wonder if that's silly when my loss was so early, but a loss is a loss and you still imagine that baby and love it as soon as you see those two lines, I think I grieve for our dreams that have been so suddenly snatched away as much as the little person we lost.
     
  4. tinyfootsteps

    tinyfootsteps Well-Known Member

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    You're right, every individual feels differently about when to start TTC again after a M/C. I can totally understand why'd you want to hurry up and get back on the horse (erm, so to speak) and I hope it's not too long before you get your sticky bean. :flower:

    Feeling heartbroken is definitely not silly, no matter how early your loss was. Like you say, the moment you see those two little lines your whole world changes as does your outlook on life.

    It was only a week between finding out I was pregnant and losing the baby but in that short time we'd got so excited - thinking about family holidays, our first Christmas as a threesome, baby names etc. etc. I could go on....

    So, it is crushing - never feel silly for feeling that way. :winkwink:

    The fact you care so much shows that you're gonna be a great mum one day.

    I've got everything crossed for you. x
     
  5. AZBabyDust

    AZBabyDust TTC #1 - 1 Angel Baby

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    Hey Bubbles, I am with you!! So sorry for your loss, they are so tough to go through especially before the holidays! :hugs: I also don't want to wait a full natural cycle to TTC again. In my opinion it could take 2 months for my cycle to come back and frankly I am too impatient LOL :haha: I'm not sure I'll use OPK's because I would have no clue when to start using them but once I finish bleeding I will definitely be jumping my SO's bones!

    I was due in July and I'm hoping to have a BFP before then!

    Sticky baby dust to all of us girls!!

    :dust::dust::dust:
     
  6. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls, it means a lot to have support from those who actually know what it's like to go through this.
    I wish noone had to though.
    I don't want to get myself all stressed out over OPKs when I know it could take weeks to see a positive now, and I never saw a positive my BFP cycle when I was using OPKs every day two or three times, but obviously I did ovulate! Will probably give them a try at some point but will hopefully be able to rely on EWCM first!
    Good luck to you both, I really hope all our sticky beans are just around the corner.
     
  7. AZBabyDust

    AZBabyDust TTC #1 - 1 Angel Baby

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    Yeah OPK's really helped me and were spot on and temping confirmed that they were accurate. But after a m/c I have no idea if they will be reliable, especially since I don't think my HCG is down to zero yet. Ugh! So frustrating! I'm still going to BD as much as my SO will allow until I confirm O this month LOL. That is why i LOVE charting!
     
  8. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    I'm a big fan of charting too, really helps make sense since my cycles went crazy! I was going to have a break from temping but I miss it and I don't want gaps in my chart when they might help me figure out O!
     
  9. AZBabyDust

    AZBabyDust TTC #1 - 1 Angel Baby

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    LOL that's exactly what I was thinking! At first I was like, no I won't chart until I'm done bleeding and my HCG is down to 0. Then I was like, I HAVE TO CHART! What if I O and BD around that time and didn't know and caught the egg?! :haha: I might be addicted to charting and I am a POAS addict! But I feel that women who go through all these measures to track their cycles and ovulation are more aware of themselves and whether something feels right or not. Knowing when you O'd gives you a better idea of your likelihood of pregnancy and when you could expect a reliable test! Thumbs up for charting :thumbup:
     
  10. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Definitely! I only decided to have a break as I hate the 5am alarm, but I'm so used to it I've been waking up around then anyway!
     
  11. schultzie18

    schultzie18 Well-Known Member

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    Hello ladies. I am so sorry for ur loss. I got my bfp last Saturday and yesterday morning had really bad cramps and started spotting. I was wondering if this is how a mc starts?
     
  12. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    It can be but I know some people get some spotting and cramping and everything is fine. With mine the bad cramps and spotting were followed quite quickly by heavy bleeding. Hope things turn out ok for you.
     
  13. tinyfootsteps

    tinyfootsteps Well-Known Member

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    Hi schultzie18,

    I had brown/pink spotting for a few days in a row (no cramps at this point) and then after that a full day of extremely painful cramps (felt more like contractions) with lots of heavy bleeding.

    A little spotting and cramping is normal in early pregnancy so just see how it goes. I hope all is OK for you.

    x
     
  14. Starry Night

    Starry Night 4 angels, 2 rainbows

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    I have had spotting in all of my pregnancies. Two ended in miscarriage and one ended with my son. I did miscarry my son's twin but I had a complication that made me bleed throughout my pregnancy even after the loss. So bleeding isn't necessarily a bad sign. If it gets worse go get checked out. I hope it's "just one of those things" and that your baby is fine. :hugs:

    I think I want to join this thread too. I joined the other one but everyone over there is pregnant already and it's hard not to be a bit jealous.

    I really hope to be pregnant with my rainbow by the end of May! However, this time around I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. Last time, the drive to be pregnant before my due date was too much and drove me kind of crazy. I did get pregnant before my due date but lost my son's twin just days before the first angel's due date. It made things emotionally straining.
     
  15. bubbles82

    bubbles82 Well-Known Member

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    Good luck chick! I'm also trying not to put pressure on myself, but also need to look forward and try to move on from how things are now. I would also love a BFP by the end of May as that is my first wedding anniversary and a year since we started TTC, and I stupidly thought I'd have a baby at home by then.
     
  16. Starry Night

    Starry Night 4 angels, 2 rainbows

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    :hugs:

    Reaching the one year mark is hard. I remember how crushed I felt when I reached that awful milestone. DH had pointed out that I had gotten pregnant within that time but it just wasn't the same. I told him that I didn't want to get pregnant for the sake of being pregnant. I wanted to be pregnant so I could have a baby! Not get pregnant then miscarry. :nope:

    By next May it will have been one year of TTC for #2. It's also the anniversary of when DH proposed but it's also the anniversary of when I had to say good-bye to my second-angel (her 2nd birthday is on Monday:cry:).
     
  17. MirandaH

    MirandaH Cautiously Pregnant

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    I am sorry for everyone's losses. I would like to join. I was going to join the other thread, but didn't because of the reasons listed here. My due date would have been July 22, 2013, but it was not meant to be. I also have a very rough history where stickiness is concerned, but I do have children, so I know it can happen. I am pretty sure that we are out for this month, and know we are out for next month as well, unless something drastically changes, due to a trip that OH has to make that will have him away at Christmas. :cry:

    The week after I lost this last baby, my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant at Thanksgiving dinner, and she is due the week before I would have been, so I really feel like I need to get this show on the road ASAP so I don't lose my mind when she has her baby. I am really happy for them, but it is just painful knowing how close our little cousins would have been.

    Good luck to everyone and lots of :dust:
     
  18. tinyfootsteps

    tinyfootsteps Well-Known Member

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    Hi Miranda,

    *big Hugs*

    My would've been due date was also in July 2013.

    It's difficult when those around you become pregnant. My supervisor is currently 5 months pregnant so not a day goes by at work without some baby talk. I just have to grin a bear in it. :(

    Let's hope you get your sticky bean soon! x
     
  19. VeraLynn

    VeraLynn Mom to 1 DD & 1 Angel

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    After going on here to find how soon everyone waited TTC after their MC, saw this thread and would like to join also. Just want to say sorry for all your losses as I miscarried this week and I also would've been due in July.

    This pregnancy wasn't planned at all, and it had definitely been awhile as my daughter is 9 now. But I was really excited as this would've been me and my bf's first together and the loss made me realize that even though I was unsure about it before we had even found out, that really in my heart do want another child. Plus it was nice to not hear my daughter bug me about giving her a baby sister for this past month or so, as she had been bugging me about it for the past 4 years!

    I'm still bleeding a bit and I go for my follow up appointment next week, so I'm hoping the dr tells me everything's ok. I do want to wait for my AF to come just to make sure my cycle goes back to normal. Bf wants to wait a bit longer, but either way hopefully I'll BFP way before July hits.

    :hugs: to all you ladies on here and good thoughts all around!
     
  20. Starry Night

    Starry Night 4 angels, 2 rainbows

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    Mirand and Vera - I'm so sorry for your losses. I really hope you get your sticky rainbows soon!
     

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