New to the Forum, Soon to be Single Mom (Sorry long intro)

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by baby.l0vE18, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. baby.l0vE18

    baby.l0vE18 New Member

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    Hello everyone,
    My name is Alana, I live in Nj, US. I am currently 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I am 20 years old. I am going through the most difficult time of my life. I married my high school sweetheart thinking we were the perfect match. We've been married a year now and recently found out about the pregnancy. It was not planned, but it is a blessing. I have no one to talk to because I havent gotten the courage to tell any of my family. My OH has turned into the biggest jerk of the planet. He has lately become verbally abusive, he is extremely jealous, paranoid. I had to file a restraining order on him about a month ago because he grabbed my arm and twisted it. He constantly accusing me of cheating lying. He hacked into my phone, all my email accounts. I really enjoy reading and listening to music and he claims every song or book i read has a secret meaning that has to do with him. He has been smoking pot for years now and i thought he was going to stop many times but as usual i am left with broken promises. My friends say that it could be the drugs that have turned him into a paranoid psycho, but i really dont know.
    Since I have found out about my pregnancy he has done nothing but make me miserable. He tells me i dont pay attention to him any more, that i never want to spend time with him, that i dont wana do anything with him. Ladies, Im sure all of you remember the difficulties of the first trimester and how even getting out of bed and eating became a chore. He has done nothing to be supportive and he has the nerve to tell me that he deserves to be with someone who appreciates him and loves him and doesnt yell at him. He tells me that i shouldnt have the baby if were not together but i told him to go to hell because i was having this baby with or without his help. He says i dont want a ******* child running around this world. I am at a loss of words and am i upset beyond belief. I feel so alone and scared and dont know where else to turn to. I am sorry this is so long, but after so many tears you become desperate and want to know that maybe someone else somewhere understands your pain.

    Thank you for reading, and I think this forum is filled with wonderful women who have overcome the impossible to be the best mothers they can. All of you are very inspirational.
     
  2. Bee26

    Bee26 Mummy to Charlie bear!

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    Sweetheart...Im so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. How he is treating you is disgusting, and he doest deserve the wonderful gift you have both been given. I know you are feeling lonely and confused and probably very frightened but you sound like a strong girl and Im sure you will make a wonderful mother.
    I too will be a single mum, although this was my choice its still a scary time.....YOU CAN DO IT! And dont ever let him make you feel like you cant.
    I really hope you begin to feel better and remember its you and your baby that are the most important in this and if he cant see or accept that then your better off alone.
    Here if you need to chat...xxxxxxxx
     
  3. Bee26

    Bee26 Mummy to Charlie bear!

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    Sweetheart...Im so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. How he is treating you is disgusting, and he doest deserve the wonderful gift you have both been given. I know you are feeling lonely and confused and probably very frightened but you sound like a strong girl and Im sure you will make a wonderful mother.
    I too will be a single mum, although this was my choice its still a scary time.....YOU CAN DO IT! And dont ever let him make you feel like you cant.
    I really hope you begin to feel better and remember its you and your baby that are the most important in this and if he cant see or accept that then your better off alone.
    Here if you need to chat...xxxxxxxx
     
  4. fizz63

    fizz63 Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru this. I really think and i know it is hard to accept, i think that you are and your baby are going to be better off without this man in your life. This is a time when you need your partner to be understanding and be supportive ... not creating additional problems and anxiety for you.

    I am sure it feels daunting being a single mum, but there are plenty of people who do it successfully. Its much better to be on your own than with a loser like this guy seems to be.

    :hugs:
     
  5. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    It could well be the drugs which have made him paranoid!
    You will be fine on your own dont worry about that, but you must get away from him if he is hurting you physically! Can you go and stay with someone else? get your own place? stay with your mum? x
     
  6. baby.l0vE18

    baby.l0vE18 New Member

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    well i do live at home with parents for the moment because money has been very difficult. there are times when he is great and times when he is just bad. I am very scared for the future and most of you are probably right that I am better off with out him. I really appreciate all of your answers and coming here makes me feel like I am not alone.
     

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