Newbie & question

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Dino_souris, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. Dino_souris

    Dino_souris TTC #2

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    Hi there!

    I'm a newbie on here - I have been lurking on and off for about a month - you girls are all great btw!!!

    A little about me: I'm 27, DH is 30 we are ttc #2 (I have a DD who's 4 from a previous relationship so this is our first). We wanted to wait until we were married to TTC - got married in August so this is our 2nd cycle.

    Here's my little dilemma/question.. :-s

    DH and I have always had great :winkwink: (sorry if tmi!!) but since we've been BD'ing it's been different. He just thinks too much about the fact we are trying and he just goes slow and pretty much smothers me because he wants to be close. I've tried telling him that it's not going to work if he is thinking too much about it - I've told him that I want him to be with me because he wants to be with ME and not just focus on the fact that we are TTC. I'm mid-cycle now and we should be doing it like crazy..lol But well, we tried last night and he was just thinking about that - and truth is, its a turn off for me... I am just going nuts and I've tried explaining to him that when it happens I feel like he's not in it..that I feel like I don't turn him on. I just want him to stop thinking and just start feeling... He gets really frustrated when I tell him that. He really really wants us to get pregnant (as do I), but he thinks so much about it during BD that I just don't think it's going to happen unless he relaxes...

    That's my story..thanks for listening! Just had to get it out (and hopefully get some suggestions!!)

    Thanks girls! And :dust: to all!!!
     
  2. loochie-lu

    loochie-lu 7 weeks n feeling yucky!x

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    It can sort of take the fun out of it cant it?!
    Especially at ov time, when u feel a pressure to bd loads n loads. I do anyway, its hard not 2 think about it!!
    My chap says that im just after his 'goods' as he puts it. So i try not 2 talk 2 him bout cycles, ov dates and all that n just try 2 bd whenever possible all month long. It stops him gettin all paranoid!!
    Actually, thinking about it, I think Im the one that needs 2 relax a bit more.

    I dunno how true it is but people tell me that if u relax n try not 2 think about it, it happens naturally. Have u heard that 2? x
     
  3. Mrs.Rob

    Mrs.Rob TTC #1

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    I also try not to talk about cycles and ovulating with the DH. You can keep him guessing if you BD all throughout the whole month instead of just during ov.

    I have heard the same thing, that people are more likely to get the BFP if they are relaxed and not stressed out about it!
     
  4. tansey

    tansey Finally a Mummy!

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    Try not telling him where you are up to with your cycle so that it is for fun not just because it is the right time. Or try spicing things up - so he is hot to trot and not just thinking about TTC.
    Good luck!
     
  5. Dino_souris

    Dino_souris TTC #2

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    that it'll happen when you least expect it and just let it happen naturally too. Which is what I've decided to do - I figure other than keeping myself healthy there's not much else I can do! I try not to talk about it - but DH is so excited that he's done the research himself and knows that mid-cycle is usually the best time.. so of course that's all he thinks about!
     
  6. bebe

    bebe Well-Known Member

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    Whilst the pressure around OV time is hard, at least he is supportive and interested which is great. Its a difficult one trying not to curb his enthusiasm though. PM me if you need to talk. Best wishes :hugs:
     
  7. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    totally agree with loochie-lu and tansey, if he dont know then he shudnt do it, usually its the other way round tho, my dh use to feel so much pressure to perform at O time ...he cudnt !!! also have sex other times of the mth or tell him u dont wonna put pressure on him and ur not
     
  8. srm0421

    srm0421 Mom & PG

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    Tell him that you have already Ovulated (even though you haven't) and you really hope you guys caught the egg so to celebrate you wanna have some potential victory sex. Also tell him that not every woman Os mid cycle and sometimes it can happen when you least expect it so to just have fun and lots of sex and hope you catch the egg.
     

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