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Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by Becyboo__x, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. Becyboo__x

    Becyboo__x Well-Known Member

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    :wave:



    Hiiiiiii sorry im new thought id post a thread to introduce my self i kinda just did in the sticky thread but for anyone who wont read all that i wrote ill write a lil thing here

    Im Becy im 18 and im going to be a single mummy in january :)
    FOB is 16 and kinda is supportive but only because he wants me back by the looks of things and cause he knows im carrying his baby.. but hes not supportive as in helping me with baby things he hasnt brought/done anything for the baby and basically hes just too immature to even bother with .. he thinks its all a walk in the park having a kid but he needs to get learning before he even wants to be involved with this baby as he knows nothing about babys.

    Me:
    The baby cant stop at yours because theres no room (cause of his siblings) and you dont have a cot or anything for him so ill have to provide it all from mine for you..

    FOB:
    There is room, he can sleep in my bed with me and ill put 2 pillows at side of him so he cant fall out of bed.

    :|:|:| is he bloody insane?

    (If you want to know the full story i wrote as much as i could in the sticky thread :)) xx​
     
  2. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    Hello,

    Wow 16!! hes young! he needs to realise he has to step up to be a dad. I personally dont think theres anything wrong with co-sleeping, and thats what he basically said he would do... but i wouldnt trust a 16yr old unsuportive fob to not roll over onto the baby!!Does he drink or smoke?

    Tell him he can buy a cot from asda for 50 pounds, send him links for mattress, sheets, blankets, he will need a stock of nappies and wipes, a change mat, some towels to bath baby, a bath seat, bottles and sterilising equiptment and spare clothes vests and jackets, then see if he wants the baby to stay. If he buys it all, then fair do's!

    Do you want the baby to stay ever? if not id just be honest instead of giving lots of reasons, just say your not ready. when the time comes. Also are you gonna BF? if you are then he cant take your boobies for the night!!! :rofl:
     
  3. expecting09

    expecting09 Well-Known Member

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    Welcome over here :flower:

    He sounds like he's got alot of growing up to do. I'm sure once babys here it will definatly open his eyes to what being a dad is all about!

    If you ever want a chat all the girlies in here are lovely, just send a pm! :hugs: xx
     
  4. Becyboo__x

    Becyboo__x Well-Known Member

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    I dont exactly see much wrong with co-sleeping either but i dont like the idea he said about putting pillows either side cause baby could suffocate or anything if the pillows fall on him and fob is sleeping just worries the hell out of me letting him have him but we both have agreed if anything he wont stay at his till hes at least 1 .. and it wont be him thats buying all the stuff though itll rely on his mum to get it and i really feel sorry for her as shes got a young daughter to get stuff for and her birthdays coming up right near when hes born and they obviously arent loaded even if a cot and stuff doesnt cost much i just feel it should be him buying this stuff not replying on his mum to take over for it all ..

    No im not breast feeding just for fact im on alot of medication and iv got to start doing this thing at hospital and they said i cant do that if i want to BF and i always said i wanted to FF anyway but thats me.. but aswell i cant stop him coming over to see baby and i know hell do it all the time unexpectant and i hate it when people turn up like that id rather them plan with me so i can know and be ready to expect people lol.
     
  5. tinkabells

    tinkabells Well-Known Member

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    Wow his showing his childs mind isnt he, but just tell him, when baby is born you dont want him to go and stay his, if he wants to see his son, his going to have to come over to yours, sorry cant write more asda hrere lol xxx
     
  6. nievesmama

    nievesmama Proud mum of 3 xx

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    Aww hun, he certainly has a lot of growing up to do, hope fully when your baby is here he may start to realise the realities.
    Here if you want to chat xx
     
  7. Becyboo__x

    Becyboo__x Well-Known Member

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    Oh and he doesnt drink.. he smokes though and smokes weed forgot to answer that
    x
     
  8. suzanne108

    suzanne108 Well-Known Member

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    Welcome :hugs: xxx
     
  9. Ash_P

    Ash_P Due Feb with 1st

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    Welcome over. U`ll find all the girls here a great support for any advice needed hun xxx
     
  10. teal

    teal Well-Known Member

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    Welcome over :hugs:

    I'd not feel comfortable with the baby staying at his especially with the smoking and smoking weed :( xx
     
  11. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    of course it should be him buying the stuff not his mum! poor woman! Well if youve agreed now that the baby wont stay till hes 1 then thats ok, you have a year to get to that stage you can always delay it at the time. He needs a part time job if hes still at school to contribute.
    and smoking weed?? id not let him near!!
    If you dont want him to turn up unexpectredly just tell him, say you need advance warning as much as possible when he wants to visit as being a new mum is tiring... you might be sleeping and stuff. Tell his mum too, its good he will visit but he should plan it with you first!
     
  12. Becyboo__x

    Becyboo__x Well-Known Member

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    He wouldnt do it around baby i think hed do it when he goes out with his mates... but i told him i dont want him smoking around baby anyway and if he has one and then want to hold him hell have to get changed cause his clothes will smell like smoke and i dont want him cuddling baby and then him smelling like it or anything.. even if that sounds daft.. but yeah i just hope he realises at the time that he cant suddenly turn up everyday at my house and expect me to be all like ''oooh hii'' cause it will drive me insane i know ill want the first week on my own wel and with my mum visiting and sister cause i dont get to see them alot now as sister lives at uni and mum lives with my step dad.. but i just dont want him to expect me to be taking him to see his family straight away his mums lovely and everything and i want him to see her and her little girl and everything cause shes excited but itll be me who has to go to them cause his mum cant drive and he only drives a motorbike so .. but im hoping somehow they will get someone to bring them to me instead i spose itll all have to work out when it happens cause i have a clue how im going to feel and everything i doubt im going to be all energetic lol ..
    he told me he would try get a proper job but i dont know how long let at college hes got it might be till september so he not get anything till after hes done that!! and ill be looking for a job soon as i can so itll be all me again hell just sit back and think i can do everything and if thats so he can just forget seeing kid might be harsh but im like the only one providing this baby with stuff he needs and what hell want when hes here
    x
     
  13. purpledahlia

    purpledahlia Mummy

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    well might be best for him to continue in education if hes only 16 then he has a better chance of providing in the future.

    Dont have to run to them when the babys born, if they want to see him before your ready to leve the house then they will just have to come to you, not your problem how they get there!
     
  14. lou_w34

    lou_w34 mummy <3

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    welcome :flower:

    He's gunna have a shock when there is a baby here!

    I wouldnt feel comfy either having the baby stay at my fob house, and he knows that it wont be happening. Just make sure your both open and honest with each other. And if you dont want him turning up unanounced, id tell him if he just turns up you wont be answering the door lol

    xx
     
  15. Becyboo__x

    Becyboo__x Well-Known Member

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    Yeah i told my mum that i said if anyone just turns up im not answering door cause they should understand i need to rest and settle in and stuff! but my mamar is a pain for just turning up and all my family have told me soon as babys born shell want to suddenly be involved with me cause of him .. and thats annoyed me and shes 1 of them people who will constantly knock on the door and if its locked she obviously cant get in but then shell go knocking on our windows and weve got a big black labrador.. and he ends up barking dead loud and crying cause he knows someones there basically and she does it to winde him up and then if she sees him through a window shell start talking to him and winde him up more :growlmad: .. but itll wake baby up and shell then probs hear him crying so i cant say i wasnt there .. grr i really hope she doesnt do it though cause i think ill end up telling her what i think .. i usually bottle it up cause i dont know what her reaction will be and i just cba with the arguements or anything..

    But fob is diff if i dont answer to him hell just go home again lol.. but i told him to tell me before he comes i just hope he sticks to it and understands i might need abit of time to settle in with baby and stuff
    x
     

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