newly single advice needed

[tessica123]

hi

to cut it short ive had so many issues with my ex inc his daughter accusing me of hitting her and my boys being put through countless social services visits
police dropped it all with no further action
my ex decided that if she said she was sorry for causing trouble (not lying) then we would start having her again

any what with that and lots of other things i made decission to leave
i wnet ot my mums then found a house for me and boys
ive tired to be nice with the for the boys sake but realised being nice was giving him wrong impression so made it clear i was not going back and was happy with how things are

that made him kick off
im seeing some one as if i wasnt id go back.....IM NOT SEEING ANYONE

anyway today he turned up at pre school to collect lo at same time as me

im worried hes going to do it and not let me have him back

when i first left i rang a local solicitor who basicly told me he can take them as he has parental responsibility

has anyone had this happen

he also told me i couldnt cope with the boys and was going to do something about it

im scared hes going to take my boys or involve social services again

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Yeah, solicitor told me the same. I spoke to nursery though and as my ex has never collected her before, they wouldn't recognise him and wouldn't release her.

Really tough, I hated the thought of this happening and there is nothing I could do. The solicitor said I would need a court order to get her back if he just collected her and didn't bring her back basically

 

[Dream.dream]

You need to get a court order before he try's to take them without permission. If not you'll have to fight to have them retuned. Try for an emergency hearing as he's already tried once

 

[tessica123]

thanks ladies got an appointment tomorrow with solicitor will let you know what happens

 

[Dream.dream]

^ good luck ! Hope it goes well

 

[tessica123]

solicitor didnt go as planned i didnt even make my 9am appointment
i spent all night with the police here as he harrased me last night i was prepaired to ignor him till he started texting telling me he was going to kill himself so i rang police
they went to see him and were happy he wasnt going to do it and rang me to tell me so at 2am i then didnt sleep a wink for worrying not about him killing himself as id done all i could do to stop that but every noise had me up checking the house
he rang me this evening and told me i shouldnt have called police i should have left hi too it!!

im drained i feel like ive got no fight left in me
ive decided if he rings again tonight im logging it all with police if he want to discuss boys he can get a solicitor

 

[Dream.dream]

Was he ever abusive? Because that is incredibly manipulative behavior , I wouldn't concern yourself with it , it sound like he's jut trying to get you to feel bad

 

[tessica123]

no he was never abusive physicaly anyway
he is very controlling and has a way of getting under your skin and getting what he wants

when we had problems with step daughter his ex told everyone she had put up with all the crap from him as she was scared of him yet to my knowledge he was never nasty with her, its just how he is

everything has to be his was or no way if you get me

ive answered his 1st call of the day the last few days then ignored any others till tea time and let boys speak to him both days


the police also reported him to social services as they didnt think he should have unsupervised contact with boys so i have ss on phone all friday, he doesnt know yet as they were still trying to decide best course of action and id already arranged for him to have them today, they told me not to let him
i told them i wasnt telling him they were involved they would have to and their responce was well we wont get to talk to him till monday now grrrr
i asked if he could have them if i went with them, as i really didnt want him kicking off plus its fathers day and dont see why kids should go without as eldest made him card at school and was looking forward to giving it him, they said yes but he wasnt to be left alone
well it didnt happen as he decided he didnt want to see them today, he was gong out last night and would be hung over

so will see what happens tomorrow