Not able to comfort toddler when ill....

[JadeyB]

Hi girls,

Anyone else not able to comfort their toddler when he/she is ill?

Ethan has an ear infection and is really poorly with it He just fights me, he hates it when I try to comfort him by hugging him or, stroking his head or anything like that. I just feel so helpless. For some reason daddy can settle him really easily. He does need to get up and rock him sometimes, which I can't do as I have a bump and I'm high risk so meant to be off my feet as much as poss and no heavy lifting.

He isn't a cuddly baby naturally, he wants comfort but always tries to push it away. He just doesn't know what to do with himself. DH is exactly the same.

It just upsets me when I've been doing my best all day to comfort him and DH comes and he sits quietly chilled out on his lap.

I guess my real worry is that I don't have a cuddly relationship with my mum and at times I've felt I was the grown up in our relationship. I just want that to be different for Ethan, I want him to have a mummy that comforts, helps and supports him.

Can anyone else relate?

x

 

[xprincessx]

I can relate to this 100%. Callum HATES any kind of close contact unless he initiates it. If I just pick him up he will push me away and try to get down. But with my Mum he is always happy for a cuddle. No idea why though hun but I'm sure your relationship with Ethan won't be affected by this x

 

[QTPie]

Oh yes!

Any kissing/cuddling/hugging had to be initiated by DS. He does come for a hug when he has hurt himself, but when he is ill (only once, so far, badly) then he was VERY difficult to soothe - he just cried and cried.

It was horrible, when DS was really ill (temp of over 101 for 5 days before we tried antibiotics, then he recovered pretty well after a few days) was the same time my mum came to stay straight after having half a lung removed (lung cancer). She was in a lot of pain and DS just cried and cried.... My mother couldn't believe that I couldn't soothe him ("Isnt there anything you can do - I could ALWAYS soothe you when you were a baby!").

They are just so independent: they want you, but they push you away at the sane time. It can be soul destroying...

All you can do is be there for them and that is it.

xxx

 

[JadeyB]

Thanks girls,

It's really tough isn't it.

This is the first time that he has been properly ill and it is just really upsetting. You feel so helpless.

Thanks for the advice, I think he will probably grow up more annoyed with me if I try and force cuddles upon him. I think i need to accept that people are different and he doesn't always need to be comforted in an obvious way. He is so much like his daddy already - lol!

Xx