not coping

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by asacia, Apr 19, 2009.

  1. asacia

    asacia Guest

    I don't feel like I'm coping.

    I've got a history of quite severe mental health problems and I got unexpectantly pregnant. I was on mood stabalisers and antidepressants.

    Gave birth 4 days ago. Difficult pregnancy and I was induced due to pre-eclampsia. Traumatic labour, baby got distressed. Managed to deliver him naturallly shortly after being prepped for a c-section.

    Breast feeding isn't going well. Struggles to latch on and stay on.

    He has jaundice and a possible problem with his testicles.

    I'm having black thoughts,not about my beautiful baby, about me. Urges to self-harm and stuff.

    I've slept so little. I feel so ill. I feel like a complete failure.
     
  2. mommyof3co

    mommyof3co Mommy of 4 amazing boys!

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    I'm sorry :( You are not a failure! I would talk to your dr see what they recommend, maybe some sort of meds to help you out. Pregnancy is a hard thing, labor and birth as well, throws your hormones completely out of whack
     
  3. PitBullMommy

    PitBullMommy Princess, FF & Angel Mom

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    You are NOT a failure! I ended up with PND after Charlotte was born and had to go off the meds cause I got pregnant with this one. Talk to your doc, please. I wanted to drive my car into a tree so I wouldn't have to be alone with Charlotte. It's scary, but there are things to help. Please seek help! :hug:
     
  4. Sophie1205

    Sophie1205 TTC #2

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    In no way are you a failure. But I would speak to your GP hun, they can help you.
    Hope you feel better
    xxx
     
  5. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    You're not a failure! It's NORMAL to feel like that.

    You need to speak to a doctor, or health visitor, or anyone :hugs:
     
  6. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    I agree, get some help from a doc soon... Having a new baby is stressful and there is the added lack of sleep. It does get easier. Do what you feel is best.

    :hug:
     
  7. asacia

    asacia Guest

    I don't know how to get through tonight. He won't feed at all and just keeps crying. I can't sit down beacause I'll fall asleep but I feel like I'm going to collapse I'm so tired.

    On,y 5 more hours to go then I can get Mum round but tomoorrow is the last day she can visit.
     
  8. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    Im sure I will get jumped on for saying this... But how do you feel about giving bottles? If your having that much stress and that much trouble with bfing maybe youd be better off bottle feeding... do you have someone you can call to come help you?

    Im really worried for you!

    :hug:
     
  9. Loz75

    Loz75 Well-Known Member

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    Ditto what the others say - speak to Dr and health visitor and if you have a mental health worker? But you are normal - it is really hard work with a newborn.
    Are you on your own as well? If so, doubly hard work. Do what you can to cope - if you need to bottle feed then do, you have to look after yourself as well.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  10. asacia

    asacia Guest

    I really want to breastfeed. I feel so guilty about my difficult pregnancy and labour and I don't want another failure on the list.
     
  11. ryder

    ryder Mum to Jasmine & Peyton

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    Continue on bfing iff that is what you wish. It does get easier, athough the first few weeks can be very draining. There is nothing shameful about FFing. Fullfilling your babies needs does not make you a failure, and being healthy and happy yourself is an important part.

    What about letting someone tube feed to help you? That way your baby wouldnt have nipple confusion and you could rest and still bf?
     
  12. BlackBerry25

    BlackBerry25 Helena & Elliot <3

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    I agree with what others have said, and also lack of sleep made me feel this way too! And still does sometime. :hugs: Topping up with formula doesn't mean you will be stopping BF or that you are a failure. You can simply get some sleep that way, and you will probably feel a lot better after a solid sleep. I know I did. You can even just do it for this one night, or once a week so someone else can feed baby. Do you have anyone to take care of baby while you sleep?
     
  13. BlackBerry25

    BlackBerry25 Helena & Elliot <3

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    Or can you pump so that your son can bottlefeed with your milk during a night or two? While your mom is there, I think you really should go somewhere quiet and just let your mom deal with the screaming, crying etc....
    I know its hard, and I wish I took my own advice, because I didn't take my moms help and I really regret it now.
     
  14. coccyx

    coccyx Well-Known Member

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    Hey you need to be kind to yourself. You are a new mum, new baby, hormones, lack of sleep, baby not BF easily yet and more things I'm sure to add to list.
    Need to see the midwife tomorrow, explain about poor feeding , get advise from her. Great BF forum on here, loads of advise and support. Tell her how low you are feeling.
    See your gp, need some medication to help through the tough times.
    Can you talk to your Mum.
    You ARE NOT a failure:hug:
    I am a big BF fan but if you are struggling now with no help re feeding then I think I would give a bottle. May help to settle baby for now and then you can restart BF when you have had some guidance.
    Can be a viscious circle. Baby not feeding, unsettled, tiredness, stress, poor feeding and so on.
    We are all here for you
     

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