Not Fond Of My ObGyn.. -MiniRant-

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Annubrius, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies ...

    I need to talk to people who'll get and understand me on this.
    My mom in law knows all about this already.

    So I went to my obGyn yesterday and she just seems to dismiss
    my updates and just generally act like she doesn't care.

    I realize She has a lot of people to see and what not, but telling me
    that it's impossible for me to feel my baby when I clearly know my own body
    more than she does because her 'medicine' tells her otherwise?!

    Excuse me, but, fuck you, miss!

    Then she preps me for PAP smear. I ask her to be gentle
    with me due to some recent mildly painful intercourse.
    With no acknowledgement of my request, she sticks the
    speculum in and it hurt!! This frustrated me more.
    After her scraping, I seen the swab coated in bright red blood.

    She warned me that I would have some spotting due to the scraping,
    but I honestly don't think it was just the scraping that made me bleed that much. My spotting was very mild and she said everything looks healthy otherwise.

    What would you ladies do in my shoes?
    Get a new ObGyn or give her one more chance??
    Because as soon as I need to start seeing her weekly,
    She's going to bug the crap out of me with her dismissals. :angry:
     
  2. larudy13

    larudy13 Guest

    I would find a new OB. Having someone look at your girly parts IS necessary but I always believed having a Dr your comfortable with makes it so much easier. Also just to be honest I go to a clinic just because I like my Dr and she sees probably 50 other women a day but she certainly doesn't act like how your describing your OB.
     
  3. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hon.. I'll look around and see what I can't find.
     
  4. Mommy626

    Mommy626 Well-Known Member

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    If you can find someone else, please do! It is important to have confidence and trust in your doctor. I am having major issues with my perinatology unit, but I'm stuck with them because they are the only high risk unit in the area :growlmad: they don't listen to me and have misdiagnosed my infections twice, resulting in them getting worse. If you have a choice in OB-GYN's, then definitely take advantage of it!
     
  5. Kita

    Kita Josiah's Mommy!!

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    About the bloody swab.. For my prenatal pap smear, the midwife told me that the very second she touched my cervix, it began to bleed because during pregnancy it is more sensitive. Scared, I asked her if it was a lot of blood and she showed me a swab soaked in blood. It was scary to see but I hardly spotted at all after that.. So THAT part of your visit at least seems normal to me.

    Did you get there late at all? My first visit I got there late and the midwife seemed very rude and rushed with me but at my next one it went better. :shrug:

    Buttttt by almost 17 weeks, I wouldn't doubt at all that you are feeling baby move. I wouldnt like her comments very much telling me otherwise. I personally would give her one more chance if this was just your first visit.. But if you have had multiple visits with her like that then I'd rethink her also. You wanna feel you can trust her since she may very well be the one delivering your baby and she should not have all of the say and control over your body like that.
     
  6. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    I was there right on time, but it's always busy as you can imagine. So I got in late, but not by my doing.
    Do I just go to my regular Dr and request a second referral to another ObGyn?

    I have another appt made with her go the 14th of dec. I'm thinking I may just give another chance despite this being my 2nd irritable visit.
     
  7. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    I changed mine for being like yours. You are going to have to see her a lot and if you feel you arent being herd you need to change
     
  8. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    I would ask your regular dr (did they recommend her?) about what to do/another referral;

    My ob/gyn is very professional/business-like with me, but she always answers my questions and makes sure that I am ok overall (my husband comes with me to every appointment, which means that if I am distracted, he can ask questions, too), so it maybe it is more her professional manner than any malicious/vindictive intent THAT SAID, however, if YOU feel uncomfortable, then get another doctor....

    best wishes

    ps. why do women have pap smears in pregnancy? (I had one last year and nobody has suggested a repeat (I bled badly then)....)
     
  9. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Will do- I'll go see my dr and ask. Yes he referred me.

    They do pregnancy PAPs to check for STD's in women who are still sexually active. They test by blood very early (5-8wks) then request PAPs soon after. I had a swab done back in sept to check for infection but not std, so they checked for this when I seen her.
     
  10. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    Oh, I see -- I had all that done when was pre-IVF (got pregnant naturally) and they checked for all the STDs, clamydia, etc., so didn't have to do (altho they check your blood for HIV, etc., which was done pre-IVF tests as well....), might be more a canadian/us thing than UK/ireland (I think they just check bloods here)....

    best wishes (and talk to your regular doctor soon!)
     
  11. DaisyBee

    DaisyBee Mom of 2

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    After seeing multiple ob's in the same hospital ( they have 6) I have found a huge difference in them. I've seen them a lot... With megans pregnancy and delivery, 2 miscarriages, and now this pregnancy. I have found that the more comfortable I am the better. I specifically ask not to see one of the ob's that rubbed me the wrong way. I also realized one of the drs I liked a lot is pretty intense and with my bp she is a dr I've chosen not to see so far this pregnancy and instead gone for the calmer drs. I think it's helped me a lot.

    You need to be able to trust your dr, and if they are making you feel uncomfortable about telling them things, then I think it's time to try to find someone else. Yes you could probably make do with this dr.. But why do it if you don't have to?

    Oh and I felt megan at 17 weeks... And on the outside at 21. Think that's pretty normal... And some women feel much sooner. I felt this baby at 12 weeks and I'm not small at all. You know what you feel.
     
  12. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Thanks very much. <333 I'll def. look into it. :)
     
  13. purplelilly

    purplelilly Well-Known Member

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    I changed my doc almost 3 months ago for alot of the same feelings. She rushed thru my appts (and i always get 1st appt of the day b/c of my work schedule!) It felt like she dismissed my questions/concerns. I've never been one for doctors anyway but this is my BABY and i will not be dismissed. I have a new doctor i like and havent looked back! She even told me i had a tilted uterus so she wouldn't even try for a hb before 12-13wks because it was pointless with a doppler (new doc found it in under a minute at 9wks!) You have to be comfortable afterall this is someone you'll see ALOT in 3rd tri!
     
  14. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    I have a tilted uterus too. So much so, that my original doctor told me i'd not be able to conceive a baby.. But he congratulated me very much!

    She rushes through my appointments as well.. I think the only time she ever listened to me fully was when I let her know that I wanted no more blood tests due to my severe phobia of needles causing a dangerous drop in blood pressure. She explained the risks and simply let it go.
     
  15. DaisyBee

    DaisyBee Mom of 2

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    Can you see a certified nurse practitioner instead? My office has a few of them in the ob office who specialized in women's studies or something like that they said, and for patients who are a low risk pregnancy they can see the np until later 3rd tri. The drs at our office all are rotating on call... So you aren't guaranteed who you will get for delivery, but that is such a short part of it all. The np don't do deliveries but can be involved in prenatal. I saw the np a few times ( even though I am more high risk with bp issues and 2 miscarriages) and she spent tons of time with me. She would have spent all day if I wanted her to I think. LOL. Way more time than the drs. So if you don't want to be rushed, it might be something you want to ask about. They answer all your questions and listen to anything and everything and don't try to just brush things off. I saw one a few weeks ago and she made me say I would promise to take naps ( got meds for a sinus infection). I saw one for my first ob appt at 8+6 and we were there all morning ( megans only was 2 hrs with a dr) and then she made sure I got an early ultrasound with my history since she couldn't find a heartbeat with the Doppler.
     
  16. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Thanks very much Daisy.. I'll definitely look into it! :D
     
  17. Mbababy

    Mbababy New mother :)

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    If you decide to give her another chance and go to your next appointment...and she acts the same way, I'd be right up front and say something to her about it!

    I'm fairly blunt, so this tactic may not be an option for everyone, but I'd tell her that this is the 3rd time you've seen her where she appears to be in a foul mood and not listening to what you have to say. I'd follow with an "I understand you're busy, but this is my child we're talking about, so if you're too busy to listen to me, perhaps I should look for another ob to handle my pregnancy". :growlmad: Then see if she lightens up or if she gets worse...then you'll have your answer.

    That said, fwiw, I recently had to change obs because my initial ob doesn't birth at the hospital I want to birth at. The difference between my new ob and my old ob is like night and day...and I'm so glad I switched :thumbup:

    Best of luck!!
     
  18. deafgal

    deafgal Guest

    my friend told me that women ob/gyn are typically rough and men are more gentle. after going through many women ob/gyn and many men ob/gyn, she is right.
     
  19. Annubrius

    Annubrius Well-Known Member

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    Thanks very much, MB.. <3

    I have no problems being straight forward with people. there's no sense in sugarcoating hell.. :/

    hahaha. I'll do that if I can't find another obgyn in time.
     
  20. DaisyBee

    DaisyBee Mom of 2

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    I disagree... I think you can find bad ones of both sexes. The dr that I found rude and obnoxious that I refuse to see is a man. People just have different personalities, and some are burnt out and take it out on everyone they see. :shrug:
     

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