Not sure how I feel about having another baby.

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by cooney, Dec 18, 2009.

  1. cooney

    cooney Well-Known Member

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    Anyone here feel complete with just one child? I don't know... I just feel like I love Cora so much that I could never love the 2nd child as much. I think I might stop at one baby.

    I'm not going to make a decision now because I won't be financially ready for another baby for another 6 years or so. I'll see how I feel then. (Although if I had another "accident" I know I would totally keep the baby)

    If anyone with more than one child on here has time, I would love to hear about your feelings for the second baby.

    I dunno, I just feel so complete right now.
     
  2. CatStorey

    CatStorey Mum to Chloe and Tom :)

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    Yup, if my feelings don't change then I will be sticking with one baby for sure!
    To be honest I am not sure I could ever have another one as it took me 9 years to get here. But I won't be leaving things to chance so will be taking precautions just incase!

    My reasons are I really hated being pregnant, I was so uncomftable, was in constant pain or was sick it was just rubbish. It was the longest 9 months ever! I also spent the whole time petrified I may not make it full term and I would loose this mirracle baby (it really was a mirracle, I have no idea how on earth I did it after all that time).
    I then had quite a traumatic birth, had an epioscopy (sp) and stiches with a forcep delivery after a very long labour. I honestly never want to go through that again! Also now I'm still feeling in pain as my stitches got infected and it's just generely a mess down there.
    My hubby works major long hours so am on my own with lo alot. He works 9am - midnight at the mo with one day off. I struggle to cope sometimes on my own and even though I love every second and I love Chloe more than anything I just don't think I want to go through this again, it's harder than I ever imagined (I hope this is making sense?!)

    I too feel complete with one child, she is my world. I just see the 3 of us forever, my perfect family complete.

    Sorry for rambling x
     
  3. lyre

    lyre Well-Known Member

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    i feel complete with one child too and i dont really want to go through pregnancy and birth again, but who knows this may change as its so soon for me. i would really like my lo to have a brother or sister to share his life with though, especially when his dad and i are long gone. that sounds a bit weird but i would rather he wasnt alone in the world when we're both gone.
     
  4. Arlandria

    Arlandria Love being Mrs.C xx

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    I always said i'd love to have two children - but not just yet, i'm going to enjoy livvy for a few years before trying again.

    dont get me wrong I do question myself how i'd love my next as much as Liv but how could you not!?

    I understand totally where you ladies are coming from but i still want more! :)

    But as a whole apart from that my pregnancy was fab, the labour was extreamly painful and Liv is such an angel baby that i'd do it all tomorrow if i had too :)

    But thats just me! xxx
     
  5. polaris

    polaris Mother of two

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    I still want more but I do worry about how I could love the next baby as much as I love Thomas. Even little things like taking baby photos, I just love taking photos of Thomas and am planning to put a baby album together for him and I am so amazed by every little change or development in him. I would hate to think that I wouldn't have the same amount of time or energy to give to another baby. My OH is a third child and there is not a single photo of him as a baby until he was about 2 or 3 and he hates it because there are photos of his older brother and sister.
     
  6. sapphire20

    sapphire20 Olivia & Alex <3

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    I think you just instantly love your second child as you did with your first.
     
  7. MrsRH

    MrsRH Well-Known Member

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    can't wait for another wee baby!!! An fall in love all over again!
    xxx
     
  8. dizzyspells

    dizzyspells Mia & Finnlays Mummy.xxx

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    We always said we felt complete with just Mia,but as she got older we changed our minds and along came Finn!!It is true you do just love your 2nd just the same as your 1st.x
     
  9. kiki

    kiki Mum to Kirsty and Caidan

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    Trust me, you will love a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th child just as much! It is hard to comprehend unless you have more than one, but you have enough love to go around 100 kids of your own.

    xxx
     
  10. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    my oh wants another baby but im completly happy just having zane, im enjoying him so much and hes my world so a second child isnt in the cards for me.

    i dont get why zanes not enough for my oh when hes plenty for me.

    maybe its to do with we actualy have to go thru the pregnancy and then give birth lol

    ive told my oh ile see how i feel in 3 yrs time but if i was to want a second id rather adopt
     
  11. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    We have always planned to have 2, 2 years apart. I was happy with this, even after a long arduous and scary labour with Earl. About 4 weeks after he was born, hubby and I got carried away and I had to deal with the prospect that we may have caught and possibly have 2 children 10 months apart. This scared the bejesus out of me to be honest...hubby was thrilled at the prospect....the weirdo! lol.... as I still don't feel like my insides have re-aligned. Earl is nearly 8 weeks old now and the HPT told me that I no longer have to worry, but I'm now being super careful as I just want to enjoy Earl for as long as possible. Earl will be 20 months when we start to try again for a baby, and I'm sure by then I'll feel ready, and I'm already counting down

    I still worry though that I wont be able to love them both. I never wanted a family before I met hubby but having children with him just seems natural. I was worried that I wouldn't love my baby as there is a history of PND in my family and as I don't really 'do' children, I was scared out of my wits. As it is I have escaped the PND, just a few days of baby blues and a lot of sleepless nights lol....and I love my little boy more than I could ever have thought possible. All this being said, my worries have been fruitless so far, so I'm sure that a Second child will be loved just as much, if not more, as this one will have a big brother too! (And I wont have to worry about buying alll the stuff....again!! lol)

    I will however be requesting either as many drugs as they can throw at me this time!! lol - I've done the 'natural' childbirth route so I don't need to be reminded of that thank you very much lol.
     
  12. Mary Jo

    Mary Jo Mummy to Adam and Joel

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    I also want another baby and I agree with this ^^. It's not a reason not to HAVE another, but I'd feel bad for the new baby that he or she would never get the same attention as Adam has had because I'd be looking after a toddler as well. Ideally, I'd have another baby when Adam is 3 or 4 and a lot more independent, going to nursery for periods of time, so me and the new baby would get loads of one to one time without Adam feeling pushed out. But time is not on my side so we won't be planning to leave it that long. I don't know if I can have another but I always hoped for two children.
     
  13. TennisGal

    TennisGal Well-Known Member

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    We've always hoped for two children, however if DD is our only one, she's a blessing and I'll be happy.

    We will try to have another when DD is around two, we don't want them too close together so DD doesn't get full attention...or too far apart, that they aren't really bestest buds.

    My Mum, MIL and SIL ALL said to me that they were terrified they wouldn't love the second baby anywhere near as much as the first, and when the baby arrives...that love just kicks in!
     
  14. Serene123

    Serene123 Guest

    I posted the exact same thread when Caitlyn was a few months old. Now I'm desperate for another :rofl:
     
  15. xkirstyx

    xkirstyx mummy to Jack and Emily

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    i cant wait to have another baby but am gonna wait 2 or 3years i couldnt cope being preg again so soon. x
     
  16. cs22

    cs22 Mum and ttc# 2

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    I would love to have another baby, It took 3 years to get preg with Thomas. Even though the bachache was horrible and the constant throwing up, I would do it all again
     
  17. Happy

    Happy Mummy to Phoebe

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    Phoebe is more than likely going to be an only child. I was paranoid throughout my whole pregnancy and the labour was horrific and ended up with Phoebe being in intensive care. OH only wants one child and I can only imagine us as a 3, but sometimes I do get the niggling feeling that in a few years I would want another one.
     
  18. Seraphim

    Seraphim Amazing Baby Girl

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    Very interesting to read others thoughts.

    Hazel will very likely be an only child (I don't they're as isolated as they were when I was little.) Hubby felt strongly about it before we got pregnant, and although I had a very good pregnancy and delivery, my feelings changed when pregnancy made children more of a reality.

    I'm about to turn 29, hubby is 34... I lost 10 years of my life having surgery... so for love, life and work I don't feel like we'd do justice to another wee soul. At least not in the same way we can commit to Hazel.
     
  19. Nickij

    Nickij Mum of 2

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    I love Jack more than anything, but I really don't know if I could have another baby.

    I would like a brother or sister for him, but I know financially we couldn't afford it until Jack went to school (couldn't afford to send two children to nursery and I can't afford to give up my job).

    Also I was in alot of pain for three weeks after having him and it made me very miserable :(.

    And although I wouldn't change anything with Jack I find him very hard work - lack of sleep and no time for myself - I know its only for a few months and it does get better, but I am not sure I could put myself through this again now I really know what having a baby is like. I know that may sound selfish but half the time I am walking round like a zombie.

    I find it difficult to understand how a mother copes with a baby and an toddler or older child! lol

    I find it amazing that my mum had four of us! and the last two were twins! haha
     
  20. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

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    Aw, don't feel guilty about that, having an older sibling is really beneficial to the younger ones too! Finn will likely be an only kiddie for medical reasons, and I feel guilty he won;t have siblings... you can't win. I really only wanted one anyway so Im not devestated.
     

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