Not sure where to post this, think it should be in here.

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Sovereign, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. Sovereign

    Sovereign Well-Known Member

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    Not really looking for advice girls, just need to let it all out.

    I tried to bf LO when he was first born but ended up mostly giving him EBM for the first 7 or 8 weeks or so. I then gave up trying to BF for about a week and managed to successfully relactate. LO was then BF for about 2 weeks but ended up getting totally wound up, I think because he was used to a bottle and getting the milk straight away as he would latch on fine and then get fed up after a few minutes. I couldn't stand seeing him get upset so I gave up and have been FF him ever since.

    But im heartbroken. :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

    I absolutely love BF my baby. I miss it so much. I miss the closeness. I feel like a failure. I know there is nothing wrong with FF but I just wanted to BF my baby. I feel like I am missing out on a big part of being a mum and im never going to get it again because OH doesn't want another baby so it's not like I can do it with the next one. I just wish I had persevered when LO was first born but he couldn't latch on at first cos he was so small and I thought he was going to starve. No-one at the hospital really explained anything to me, like that lots of mums have trouble at first or anything, so I thought I just couldn't do it. After reading Ellie's thread last night about SNS it got me thinking. But OH won't let me try again, he say's it's not fair on LO and im just upsetting myself and he's probably right. But last night I was in tears for hours and cried myself to sleep because it's just something I really really wish I had done.

    Sorry for the long essay girls, just no-one else really understands. I'm totally gutted. Everyone just thinks i'm being a bit silly I think, that's why i'm posting here. x
     
  2. emma_27

    emma_27 Well-Known Member

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  3. mernie

    mernie Mom and Pregnant with #2!

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    :hugs: I know how hard it is...I've had to switch to FF when BF was something I really wanted to do (BM dried up thanks to contraception :cry:). So i know what you're going through. Like the ladies here told me...make it up with extra cuddles...and FF can still be a special bonding time I've definitely found that out since switching. If you want to try it again though, don't let anyone stop you! Its your choice not theirs I understand its his child too but if you want to have another go at it then go for it just tell your OH its something you want to give another shot and to please support you in it. And you know you always have support on here as well. :hugs:
     
  4. Sovereign

    Sovereign Well-Known Member

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    I just tried to put LO on the boob before just to see if he would latch on and he just pulled a face. He really doesn't want it. :-(
     
  5. Michy

    Michy Mum and Preggo

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    I understand totally how you feel, I always wanted to breast feed and still do, but Alfie never managed to latch :cry:
     
  6. dippy dee

    dippy dee Well-Known Member

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  7. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    :hug:


    You are not a failure honey. Not at all. You have produced a beautiful healthy little baby!! What bigger success is there??!! You tried and it's not worked out - I know that must be hard but you've done your best.

    If you miss the closeness why dont you carry on FFing him but try offering the breast for comfort? You could wait until he is in what's known as 'quiet-alert' - when they are fully rested, not hungry or over stimulated - and sit and have quiet snuggly time and see if he will latch on. This way you dont have the pressure of relactating and you can just do it whenever you can/want. dont just try once and give up though. Try differnt times of day/evening or even night but without it being for food. Just a thought :shrug:

    xx
     
  8. Sovereign

    Sovereign Well-Known Member

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    thanks hun, thats a good idea x
     
  9. FierceAngel

    FierceAngel Guest

    i know exactly how you feel hun

    luisa didnt latch on well.. then she had jaundice and i had no choice to give her some formula in first few days till my milk came in..

    then she just kept falling asleep or getting frustrated...

    ive been expressing for nearly 3 weeks now and 3 days ago introduced formula for the night feed..

    im losing my milk now and im gutted.. i just managed to express 3ozs for her feed at 10.30 (she usually has 4 ozs at a time but seems content for now) but it took ages and i dont think im going to be able to express enbough again for 2.30 :cry::cry:

    like you i know there is nothing wrong with formula but i really wanted to bf.. even if she wont latch on expressing was still making me feel lkike i was doing something...

    with the formula i feel like anybody could feed her..
    me and oh discussed this and agreed tht even though she is ahving bottles (exp bmilk or formula) we would be the only people to feed her plus our mothers..

    :hug::hug::hug:
     
  10. thelilbump

    thelilbump ♥ mummy to a princess ♥

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    :hug:

    merv's mum is right. go in another room away from other things, tv etc, and have some cosy time when ur both relaxed. keep perservering. stop when one of you is getting frustrated and start again the next day with a clean slate x
     
  11. sam#3

    sam#3 Lactivist & Intactivist

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    :hugs: dont feel like a failure hun because you're not at all.
    No matter what happens with feeding you have a beautiful healthy baby so you should be prod of what you have achieved xxxx
     

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