Not telling family until 30 weeks

[Feronia]

I'm only 10 weeks now, but this is our current plan. We only see family once a year, and we won't be seeing them until December when I'm 30 weeks.

Part of it is because both sides expressed that we shouldn't have a second one any time soon or at all (which really made me pause -- I have a good job, we provide DD with a loving home, and it's really our business when we procreate). The other part is that I think it would be more special and meaningful if we surprised them with it in person.

Now I don't really know what to do. Is there any reason not to wait? Would they be too offended, or be much more surprised and happy for us? (And hopefully forget about telling us not to have a second!)

 

[SteffieLee]

Well if you wait till 30 weeks then there will be no reason to actually say anything because they will definitely notice your protruding uterus the second they see you. Lol. I'm sorry they are so opinionated on when you have kids and how many you should have. My mil said that as well. When we told her we were, she was definitely shocked and made a point to say "well your stopping at 3 though right?". I wanted to slap her and still do. She's always been very opinionated on how far apart our kids should be and definitely thought we should stop at 2. I could care less though, its none of her business anyway and her opinion means nothing and holds no candle to my husband and i's decision. I feared my parents would be the same way but they were soooooo excited when we told them.
They may not like the idea in the beginning but they will definitely come around to the idea of another grandbaby to love.

 

[_jellybean_]

I'm sorry I probably would not be able to wait to tell my family, but I'm close with them so maybe it's different. Do you speak to them often?

 

[maisie78]

To be honest feronia with the way your mother acted at your last birth she'd be lucky if I told her AFTER this baby arrived nevermind at 30 weeks pregnant xx

I think it's nice to tell them in person and if anyone has anything negative to say well it's not like you will spend the pregnancy worried about it or hurt by the comments.

I couldn't keep it a secret that long but I think in your case it's probably the right thing to do xx

 

[Bookwrmgal]

My only question about this is whether or not you will get yelled at for not telling them sooner when they see you and it is clear you are very pregnant. But then again you can just say you wanted to wait and tell them in person. Regardless, you need to do what is best for you

I'm estranged from my parents and am struggling with when I should tell mine. So I completely sympathize with you on this.

 

[Feronia]

Thanks everyone. I was close to my mom growing up, but after my first birth things did start to sour. We’re getting along pretty well now, though.
I’m still debating! I’d love to wait, but at the same time I wouldn’t want our vacation to be ruined because they were hurt / angry that we waited so long to tell them… We will be staying with our in-laws, and while we get along decently, I would hope they weren’t hurt. Hmm.

 

[mkyerby16]

So sorry you're having to deal with this! I'm having enough trouble waiting until my mom's birthday next week to tell my family, but we're very close, so I couldn't imagine waiting that long! It's of course totally up to you and you shouldn't care what they think, but I wonder if they would be hurt that you didn't tell them sooner... it may make things worse if they feel like you kept it a "secret". Good luck either way!

 

[slg76]

I would be hurt if one of my sisters or close friends kept their pregnancy a secret that long. I would feel like they didn't want me to share in the experience with them.

 

[Feronia]

Haha, well we gave in and told both my mom and the in laws today! I started to consider that our vacation down there might be ruined with all of the drama, and that might be even worse.

They all actually seemed soooo excited, I'm surprised! Thank you all for your insights!

 

[slg76]

I'm happy to hear that your family was supportive!

 

[dan-o]

Lol family eh? Always unpredictable! Glad it went well!