Not wanting to be touched

[puffers121]

Is this normal? I feel like my husband keeps trying to touch my boobs all the time because it gets a reaction, but it's not a positive one. They're sensitive and touch feels extra extremely invasive whilst experiencing queasiness. It is terrible feeling to be touched anywhere sexually right now, let alone being touched much in general. Even as a kid I didn't want to be touched when not feeling well. It's the same now and my physically affectionate husband is not understanding. He keeps trying and trying and I end up flailing my arms, panicking to the point of almost hitting him and getting upset, yelling "Plase. Do. Not. Touch. Me". I love my husband and love his affection, but not right now Just now was an incident and I started crying and getting claustrophobic feeling with him trying to be close and touching my boobs. After I calmed down I said, I love you and love your company laying next to me close, but just dont want to be poked and prodded right now and not for a while.

Anyone get the same thing? I'm frustrated with him and for him, because touch is definitely his love language and feels sad and dejected more often lately. He just turned around back facing me and tried to make a barrier between me and him and said not to touch him, he doesn't like to be touched. I was fine with a gentle snuggle, but not being accosted. I've said that but it's not getting through I dont know how to convey that barrier/boundary when he wants to be more handsy.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think that's very normal. Whether your married to someone or not, no one should be touching anyone when it isn't welcomed. My husband hasn't gotten anywhere close to my boobs while pregnant and he wouldn't unless invited to (and that doesn't sound very appealing right now), but I don't think it would be very enjoyable. I've had bleeding in both my healthy pregnancies (because my cervix is very sensitive) and because of that, we aren't intimate at all while I'm pregnant. I've had a miscarriage in the past and any bleeding is very traumatic. It's my choice that we don't have sex, though he isn't especially keen either as it's not very comfortable for me and the worry about the bleeding isn't sexy for either of us. You find other ways to enjoy spending time with each other, and touching can be part of that, but only if you enjoy it and not everyone does. It's only a relatively short time anyway, but yes, I do think that's very normal for many women and you might just need to really be upfront explaining it at a time when you can talk about it calmly and letting him know your expectations that he'll respect that. But seriously, if my husband insisted on touching me even though I asked him not to, we probably wouldn't be together anymore as that's not respectful or appropriate.

 

[maryanne1987]

I have to agree with mindutopia. Does your husband know you don't want to be touched? If so it's disrespectful and crossing boundaries that shouldn't be crossed.
My husband and I aren't intimate while pregnant for medical reasons, and to be honest at the moment I'm glad we can't be as I wouldn't be in the mood at all. We are still intimate in other ways but when we both feel like it. I'd sit down, talk it through and explain how your feeling. If he still carries on acting then that would be a game changer for me.

 

[karoolia]

I think the way you are feeling is totally normal. I don't think the way it is playing out is ok.

I would love to have sex. I was scared at first and flatly refused it because I was nervous about bleeding since I have had a miscarriage and know it would scare me. I feel ready now, but it seems I always feel sick or my boobs are sore so we don't do it. It frustrates me a little and makes my husband kind of sad, but he 100% understands and respects my boundaries. He is also a toucher so he will approach me and say "is it ok if I hug you? Will it bother your stomach if I put my hands there". If I say no, he stays away. For the most part he has learned to follow my lead.

It doesn't seem as though your husband really understands how you feel. I think you need to talk to him about what you are experiencing and how your boundaries are important and there for a reason (and that reason isn't that you don't want to be close, it's that it really isn't an option at the moment).

 

[nordicpixie83]

I'm the same I just Want to be left well alone . I'm not particularly tactile anyway but now I'm just in my baby bubble and don't feel remotely sexual . I get quite primal when pregnant and don't view my body as a place for pleasure but for growing and nurturing my baby.

 

[puffers121]

We still are active, but just not as often as before. It is nice sometimes, but other times not. He keeps saying it'll make me feel better for a while, which it does, but I really just don't seek it out in first place and doesn't interest me like before. It's really more so that I don't want my boobs touched or just not liking handsy-ness in general. I feel like we need to have a chat about things more seriously instead of just getting combative when he goes reaching for a boob. lol. I literally yelp in pain every time and it's like he doesn't realize that it's painful; acts shocked every time lol. I'll talk to him then, but he doesn't get it. Perhaps in a different context when he's not looking to have needs met right then and it's more disappointing to him. He may feel like things are changing now that I'm pregnant and he keeps coming to reaffirm love and affections, but I just don't feel good 90% of the time!

 

[minties]

Oh you poor thing. I still feel this way and my baby is almost 1. You also get touched so much when you have kids, the last thing I was t is someone else touching me. Especially my boobs!

 

[Zephram]

I have felt like this on and off through all of my pregnancies. It's normal.

Ask your OH to be more understanding, it sounds like he's being a bit immature about it. Remind him that pregnancy is a temporary situation, so it's not going to continue forever!