...now what?

nicem815

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Maybe I should be talking to a counselor about this, but lately I have been having overwhelming thoughts of, "Okay....what's next?"

I'm married, I'm pregnant....I always wanted both of things. Now what? Does that make sense? I spent my life trying to do things to get away from my reality and now that I have nothing to run from, it freaks me out beyond belief. I now have a marriage to uphold, and a child who is my life's responsibility. I think the reality of it all makes me so nervous because I don't know if I will measure up.

I beat myself up when I'm not the best wife I can be. I freak out when I don't even "feel" pregnant right now. I have lost weight and my "bump" is barely recognizable. I just want another ultrasound. I just want to see the baby again and know he or she is okay.

Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel horrible even writing it.
 
I think what you're feeling is absolutely normal.

Marriage is always going to take work, kids or no kids. When you have kids, though, you may have to work a little harder, or differently rather. Like still try to find time for just you and your husband.

Having kids, whether it's your first, second, third, etc. I think there's always that worry about measuring up to it.

Before I had DD, I was terrified. I never really had much to do with babies. I had never changed a diaper. I had no idea how I would know what the baby would need and when. I marveled as I watched my SIL and wondered how she knew. I wondered what she had that I didn't have.

You'll learn. There will be mistakes on the way, but you can't beat yourself up over them. It's learning on the job. Even if you have a second. You wonder if you'll live up to being able to take care of 2 kids, give them both the love and attention they both deserve.

It's scary, but you'll be okay. You'll adjust. Have you talked to DH about your worries? If you think talking to a counselor would help, definitely do it! It's an overwhelming, life-changing time. But you'll be okay. You have your husband there. And you're going to be a great mom. If you love and care for that baby, you'll be a great mom. Don't let the small things that happen make you think otherwise.
 
Hun everyone feels like this from time to time and pregnancy hormones don't help matters. I'm already a mum and even I had a freak out yesterday about having the responsibilities of another little life. You are pregnant and have a wonderful little baby growing inside you, and trust me the feeling of being a mum is the best feeling in the world. My son absolutly completes me and could never imagine for a second him not being around. Just wait till you hold your little one for the first time, the feeling is like nothing else. Try not to be too hard on yourself though, no one can be perfect and you will make mistakes as a mum, everyone does, babies don't come with instructions. But long as your little one is loved that's all that matters. Doesn't mean you aren't measuring up as a parent. You will be fine!
 
Thank you all so much <3

This is my first pregnancy and it's all just so difficult. My insurance isn't in, I can't get my bloodwork, we are moving, my husband just started working....things are just hectic and it doesn't help that I already feel inadequate. Like wow...I'm pregnant and can't even get the bloodwork I need for my baby :(
 
Just don't be too hard on yourself. If you can't change the situation there's no point in stressing about it, thats what I always think. I worried away my first pregnancy and if I could go back and change it I would. Focus your mind on baby, look at nursery colour schemes and research prams. If I get all stressy I just try to distract myself. I'm sure in a few weeks you will have everything sorted.
 
Just don't be too hard on yourself. If you can't change the situation there's no point in stressing about it, thats what I always think. I worried away my first pregnancy and if I could go back and change it I would. Focus your mind on baby, look at nursery colour schemes and research prams. If I get all stressy I just try to distract myself. I'm sure in a few weeks you will have everything sorted.

Thank you. You're so right. I was going to go upstairs and listen to some inspirational and motivational videos to get our of the negative energy surrounding me.
 
These are both life-long changes you're making in life. It's perfectly natural to have some anxiety. The fact is, what's done is done, and you're going to find a way to cope. Just take it all one day at a time!
 
I think the fact that you have so much going on (and based off the information from your other thread), there's a lot of stress in your life right now.

It sounds like you really need to try and relax, take a few deep breaths (I know, it's so much easier said than done!). Things will slow down, things will sink in. Try and enjoy your pregnancy. You're only pregnant with your first once, and you're going to be experiencing some amazing things throughout the pregnancy and a lifetime of amazing things after LO is here.

Try not to stress about the insurance, which like I said is so much easier said than done. But the insurance is outside your control. It's not something you did or didn't do. It's just a little bit more of a rough transition than expected, but it doesn't mean you're not providing for your baby or that you'll be a bad mom.

Things will be okay and they'll work out. You'll see :)
 
I think the fact that you have so much going on (and based off the information from your other thread), there's a lot of stress in your life right now.

It sounds like you really need to try and relax, take a few deep breaths (I know, it's so much easier said than done!). Things will slow down, things will sink in. Try and enjoy your pregnancy. You're only pregnant with your first once, and you're going to be experiencing some amazing things throughout the pregnancy and a lifetime of amazing things after LO is here.

Try not to stress about the insurance, which like I said is so much easier said than done. But the insurance is outside your control. It's not something you did or didn't do. It's just a little bit more of a rough transition than expected, but it doesn't mean you're not providing for your baby or that you'll be a bad mom.

Things will be okay and they'll work out. You'll see :)

Thank you! You have made me feel so much better with your positive energy and I appreciate you so much!
 

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