ntnp but scared to try because of no help

Discussion in 'Not Trying, Not Preventing' started by momof2tobe, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. momof2tobe

    momof2tobe Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry if it sounds like a vent thread.
    So I'm really scared to have another baby. At this point i have a 2 and 1 year old. My husband really wants another one like now so we would be done young and they would just all grow together.
    The problem is that i know that our families are not gonna help us! Its like pulling teeth to ask them for any help. Yesterday my baby girl had her birthday and turned 1, and my parents didn't even call! I was crying for half of the day.
    I really want another baby but I'm scared.
    It looks like here all of you want babies so much. My situation is completely reversed. Are you girls not scared of so much responsibility, lack of sleep, flying hormones and sleepless nights?
    I am and it makes me feel like a bad mother sometimes.
    I'm sorry for venting here.
     
  2. Amalee

    Amalee Expecting #2!

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    I'm sorry your family hasn't been there for you. It must have been really upsetting not to hear from your parents yesterday :hugs:

    It's true that lots of us really really really want babies, but lots of us also spent a long time in WTT when we knew we weren't ready to have kids, or we knew we weren't ready for more. I spent 2 years in WTT because I wanted to have a child so badly, but I knew it wasn't a good time for that.

    I'm not saying that that's the case with you. If your family isn't being very helpful now, you can probably assume that things aren't going to change much if you have another child. I think you and your husband should talk about all the extra stress and work that comes with another child - and if you decide that you guys can handle that, or you have the money (or a plan to save the money!) to hire help to keep you guys sane, that's awesome! But there is nothing wrong with waiting until your kids are a little older and more self-sufficient.

    I don't know if you've ventured into WTT much, but everyone's really supportive, and there are at least a couple threads for moms who are waiting to try for #2 or #3. It might be worth taking a look!
     
  3. Button#

    Button# Well-Known Member

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    I'm scared and I don't have family nearby to help. I've seen my mum friends go on to have a second though and they seem to manage. I'm sure it's going to be hard but one seemed overwhelming before I had him and I made that work so I'm sure I'll figure out how to manage with two.
     
  4. girlnboots

    girlnboots Mother to 4 furbabies

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    I don't think its fair to your family to have another child if you NEED help from them. The occasional babysitting is one thing, but relying on them for childcare is another.

    Obviously I don't know your circumstances or personal life, but that's something to consider.

    For example, My brother and his girlfriend decided to have a baby when he still lives at home with my parents and she's a full time student, so they'll be spending the most time and energy on the baby and it's not even theirs!
     
  5. momof2tobe

    momof2tobe Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for support. I think i need it a lot.

    Amalee- that's really nice reply. Yes, i thought about waiting but i feel like i don't fit in wtt because im kind of in the middle.

    Button# - it's very nice to know that I'm not the only one scared.
     
  6. momof2tobe

    momof2tobe Well-Known Member

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    Girlnboots-
    Wow when i was reading your reply i felt like you were screaming at me through my screen! I'm not your brother and his girlfriend so don't take it out on me! I do have my own house and no money problems. I was talking about occasional babysitting so i could go out and keep my sanity once in a great while. I think you took it the wrong way!
     
  7. girlnboots

    girlnboots Mother to 4 furbabies

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    No, I'm pretty sure you did. I just said I don't know your circumstances or how often you'll need their help, but there ARE plenty of people out there who have all the babies they want just to pass them off to family and say "here's another one!"

    If that's not you, good. Good for you! Don't worry about it and have all the kids you want.
     

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