Ntnp, endo, house and marriage! What would you do?

[lucy_smith]

Hello
I'm 22 and oh is 23 (23 and 24 ) this month. Been together going on 8 years . So most people wouldn't expect the clock to start ticking yet. We have been ntnp since the beginning of the year.

We are going to be building a house next year and hope to be moved in by Christmas. After that we will start to plan our wedding and get married!

But I think my endo may be getting worse, I'm starting to get mid cycle spotting and my cycles are getting shorter, I'm also starting to get pains after Dtd too.

I want to go to my dr and see what's wrong but depending on wether in ttc or I I decide to wait until I'm married can change the plan ( I always wanted to be married first, but with the endo I would rather have a chance whilst not married than wait and it be too late)

My bf wants to wait until the house then marriage then kids, but I havnt told him about the spotting, he knows the pain is getting more frequent. I'm going to have to have a proper chat and tell him there is a possibility it is getting worse and see what he says

What would you do in my situation?? Any advice for someone who has no idea what's for the best?

 

[bundle4me]

My advice is do what makes you happy, I don't believe people need to be married to have children. I no so many people who have bought a house got married then had kids and it's not worked out so doing things the right way doesn't always work. Me and my oh aint married and we are ttc our first together and I have 2 children from a previous relationship and we couldn't be happier.
Speak to your oh and tell him your worried, men don't always understand how us women worry about things to do with conceiving (well from my experience of men haha) good luck and I hope things work out for you xx

 

[x-ginge-x]

I did everything in the wrong order, I have PCOS and was told I had maybe a 5% chance of conceiving naturally, my partner knew I wanted children but at the beginning he didn't and was on the pill, after a few months he asked me to stop taking them, we had been together 6 months when I got pregnant, my son was born in december 2012. We got married in July just gone and have tried for a mortgage and got rejected (its virtually impossible to get one!) so we are looking for a place through our local council to move closer to family.

Do whatever you feel comfortable, for me I'm glad I did it the wrong way as I know hes a good dad, I have seen people get married then have kids and they find out hes a complete arse. Being married first is no longer considered essential x Good luck in whatever you choose.

 

[LavenderLove]

As a fellow endo sufferer I completely understand wanting to try sooner rather than later. DH and I had a "court marriage" with the intention of having a "formal marriage" later and then try for a family, but with the endo and my fertility in question we realize our best shot may be now, so we're putting off the big ceremony.

There's no real certain order things have to go. The best way is the one that makes you the happiest overall. Definitely have a chat with you OH and see what your doctor says. Best wishes to you!

 

[ottergirl]

If you have endo, I would see the doctor and start moving towards getting your body in the place it needs to be for conceiving. You could try taking Vitex to stabilize your cycles.