Numb....lost....I can't lose my baby :'(

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by brandiw, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. brandiw

    brandiw Angel Maddy's Mommy

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    I went for my ultrasound today. What was supposed to be a happy, exciting moment turned horrible in about 10 seconds after they started looking. They found a fluid sac from baby's head to his/her bum, a sac around by the neck, and a sack in his/her tummy, all full of fluid. There was a good strong heartbeat. Right away I was told that it is very obvious Chromosomal abnormalities. I went to my doctor right away, and she looked at the report and said it is not good....IF baby were to go to term...he/she would have no quality of life whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, she said this in a very sympathetic way, not harsh like I made it sound. She then sent me immediately to a specialist. The specialist said the same thing. I got an amnio done....and it is 2-3 weeks until I get results. I will be 20 weeks once the results come in. So, I was told that there is a chance I will miscarry, and if not....we have to discuss the options. That makes me sick to my stomach to hear....I know exactly what they mean....terminate my pregnancy. I feel numb....I feel like my whole world has just been taken away from me, crushed after a 2 minute ultrasound. The thought of "terminating" is horrifying to me....he/she still has a heartbeat....and is still MY baby. I guess the amnio will make everything more clear....but as of right now....I am already grieving....I don't know how else to take all of this. :cry:

    I had so much support here after my first loss...I was just hoping for someone who has heard of this before, or has experienced it.

    Thank you :hugs:
     
  2. frstndonly

    frstndonly Well-Known Member

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    :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

    I'm so sorry.

    :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  3. Leilani

    Leilani Well-Known Member

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    I am so, so sorry to read this. :hugs: :hugs:

    Sorry, I have no advice or wise words to offer, but I am thinking of you and your LO.
     
  4. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    I am so deeply sorry . I lost my Ava at 22 weeks. Everything I thought was fine, I went in to have the Amnio and before they did the Amnio they did a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. I went into labor on my own and gave birth to her, she was my fourth child so my labor was very quick. After testing was done on her there still was no answer, her cells never grew. So my doctor just said he was sure it was a chromosomal abnormality, but I will never know for sure. I know how hard this is for you, but don't give up hope till the results from the Amnio come in, they should be putting a rush on the results. I know it can take 2 weeks, never heard of 3, but my doctor told me ( Before I lost Ava) that he would rush the results and I would know in a week. This is just a horrible thing to go through and I know you are devastated right now, I know exactly how you are feeling. I am really praying for you that they made a mistake and everything will be ok, we are all here for you anytime day or night, you can message me whenever you want, don't forget that. Can you possibly call your doctor and tell them to rush the results, this is horrible that you have to wait so long :cry:

    Sending SO SO much love to you. Andrea :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  5. brandiw

    brandiw Angel Maddy's Mommy

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    Thank you ladies for your repsonses. I need to vent through all of this....and this is a place where you all understand....

    I have made a decision that I am definitely NOT going to terminate. No matter what the outcome is, I want nature to take it's course. Even if that means my little sweetheat dies in my arms minutes after being born...at least he/she is in mommy's arms and can let go. I have to be there for him/her if that happens....I can not let my baby die alone.

    I have been researching different syndrome's...and while many have awful outcomes, there are managable syndromes as well....so it is just a waiting game until the amnio results come in. Something like Downs doesn't "scare" me whatsoever....but they are suspecting something worse.

    They can't tell me that baby might be a "vegetable" without seeing him/her out in the world....I think that is jumping the gun. I know my baby felt the amnio....the little heartbeat went from 148 to 196...you can't tell me that he/she didn't feel anything....baby knew at that moment that somethin' was in his/her "space"....and wanted it out! My little peanut is gettin' an attitude already ;) Wow....my little joke is the first time I have smiled in 24 hours since finding out.

    I am trying so hard to keep even a little glimmer of hope. I have too....I have to fight as hard as I can, even harder...for my baby. I will not give up on him/her....not in a million years. Disfigured, mentally ********, doesn't matter....that is still MY gorgeous babe in there....and me being his/her mommy....will fight to the death for him/her.

    Wow....it feels good to vent. Thank you so so much ladies for letting me vent...it means the world to me. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
  6. kiki04

    kiki04 A girl can dream....

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    Honey I am so sorry :cry: I have a different story than yours as I found out at 16 weeks there was no HB. I never had to come to terms with "making a difficult decision" but I fully support yours. I too would want to hold my baby and have them pass in my arms if that were the case. I am so sorry you are even having to go through this hun :hugs: :hugs:
     
  7. Sweetkat

    Sweetkat Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry that you don't have any definitive answers and that you have to go through this in the first place. I am keeping everything crossed for you that the baby is ok and that the doctors are exaggerating. They are only human and they don't have all the answers. I fully support your decision to go ahead. I hope you have your oh/ family for support. Big hugs xxx
     
  8. dizzy65

    dizzy65 Prego w/ #3!! Its a Boy!!

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  9. April76

    April76 Well-Known Member

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  10. amotherslove

    amotherslove MamaToLilyLucyAndLila<3

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    I am thinking of you and your little one. I hope the best for you both. I think you are very brave to want to carry to term. (Also, you should look up the song "I will carry you" by selah, but be ready for some tears.) Hoping for some good news for you<3
     
  11. pip2009

    pip2009 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I recently found out that my baby had Edwards syndrome after a CVS and we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy at 15 weeks as they told us she was 'incompatible with life'. I never ever thought I would make a decision like this but for us it was the right decision as we also have a little boy to consider. I just couldn't put him through months of seeing us so upset not knowing whether his sister would survive pregnancy and then if she did, spending however long in hospital and probably never bringing her home. It is the hardest decision anyone can ever make but you have to do the right thing for you and your family and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

    I am surprised you can't get your amnio results quicker than that - when we had our cvs we got the initial results in 4 days and then the full results came 2 weeks later. I would ask them and push them to get them quicker - the worst part of the whole thing for us was the waiting and wondering.

    Big hugs and feel free to pm me if you want to chat xxx
     
  12. laceyinthesky

    laceyinthesky Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry. :hugs: Lots of prayers your way.
     
  13. brandiw

    brandiw Angel Maddy's Mommy

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    Thank you :hugs:

    The reason I can't have the initial results is they had problems getting fluid...they had to try twice to get as much as they got...so she didn't want to put me through a third time. She said unfortunately there wasn't enough fluid to do the "fast" results and the complete analysis :nope:

    It is just an awful waiting game...it is abolsute torture :cry:
     
  14. tummymummy

    tummymummy mummy of 2 and growing 1

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    Im so sorry your going through this sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  15. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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  16. Tegans Mama

    Tegans Mama home edding mum of 2

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    So sorry hun :hugs:
     
  17. LillyTame

    LillyTame Mom of 2 boys

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    :cry::hugs::hugs::hugs:

    So sorry hunny, you are in my prayers. Your decision makes so much sense, I never thought of it that way, but I've never had to make such a tough life decision.
     
  18. IndieGirl

    IndieGirl Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry you have to go through this. I know a woman who is going through a similar problem. The doctor told her her last ultra sound would be dec 18th and that they didnt think the baby would survive... the baby has one working kidney which is cystic and would be mentally challenged. Well, She refused to give up hope and her most recent test , I think was the quad test.. came out good.

    I hope everything works out well for you. *hugs*
     
  19. TJMYANGEL

    TJMYANGEL Well-Known Member

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    hun im so sorry you are going through this i made the same decision you did in 2010 i got told at ma 19 week scan i got told my wee boy had skeletal dysplasia and asked if i wanted a termination as baby might not survive the pregnany i said no i cherished evey move that ma baby made and every thing sadly at 34.5 weeks i became ill and he was born by emergancy c section and he passed away after only 42 mins it was so hard sometimes i think was i right or wrong for me to have made the decision i made but to hold him for the time i did was worth it he even turned his head and looked at his daddy before he passed i really hope you get a better out come hun cherish every minute you have and if you do decide to do what the doctors ask there is no right or wrong decision take care xxxxxxxxx
     

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