Nursery - settling issues

[zizii]

Hi guys

I've come back here to get some help!

My daughter started nursery 2 weeks ago for 2 days a week.

She seemed happy yesterday but today she was miserable. She hasn't eaten much since going there and falls asleep at lunch time on the table because she is so tired.

The nursery naps after lunch where as my daughter is used to waking up at 7/8am having milk then breakfast ... Then some milk at mid morning then sleeps at 11/11.30 then wakes up plays around 1.30/2pm then lunches has milk at 4pm then naps wakes up at 5/5.30 then has dinner.

I'm not sure what my concerns are :/ all the other babies are genuinely relly happy so it's not the nursery that is my concern I think.

My daughter also now does not let me out of her sight after nursery she just this morning when I dropped her off saw the nursery worker and starte crying like noooooooooooooo!

My happy baby is crying alot not eating much and she only started a full day last Thursday that was her 1st full day. Settling in period days were ok one day she ate lunch and impressed everyone then after that not so good.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I feel like a crappy disgusting mum. My daughter technically does not need to go nursery as my MIL can look after her but I thought for the mixing with babies making friends sharing etc 2 days a week would be good for her to go nursery then 1 day with my mil then 2 days with me at home! As my job is 3 days a week .

Any advice ? My long term thought is if she isn't happy in 2 weeks then I'm going to pull her out of nursery and book her some baby classes in Gymboree , my mil can take her ? My biggest concern of leaving her with her granny was she wouldn't go out much and she would watch tv all day. But I suppose I could tell my mil to take her out and no tv Etc right ?

Atleast my daughter would sleep and be fed different stuff if she didn't eat and would be at home ( I live with my inlaws right now planning on moving soon!)

Can someone please talk to me I'm so confused and realistically have no one to seek advise from x

 

[zizii]

I don't know where my threads moved too ;(

 

[belle254]

Sounds like you're doing the right thing I'd just wait and see if she settles in over the next few weeks, separation is hard for any parent and child and they usually all react like this at first. The socialisation benefits are huge though, compared to being at home with your mil, who, if you're right in thinking, may not take her out to interact with others much.
hope she settles in or you reach some kind of decision x

 

[zizii]

Thanks belle , it's really hard as no one seems to get what I'm doing.

I don't want to restrict my mil life by leaving my daughter with her all the time BUT I know she will be happy to look after her!

It's just the nursery issue is really depressing me I actually can't sleep at night I'm always thinking about it. I don't know anyone to speak to about it I just need some confidence from someone else !

 

[Ganton]

My LO took about 4 weeks (3 days a week) to settle in properly, but he seems to love it now. He's tired after a day in nursery, but that's because he's had a really active day, and I think it's great that he gets to interact with other babies and do activities that I wouldn't do with him at home.

He was very clingy with me for the first couple of weeks but has really settled down now, and I am really satisfied that we have made a good decision for him and our family in general by sending him to nursery, despite being really worried about it all at first.

Hopefully your LO will also settle in really well over the next few weeks.

 

[vsh]

Could you ask the nursery to put her down for her nap a similar time to what she usually does at home? The nursery my LO goes to are fab and will adjust to the babies routines xx

 

[stephie_corin]

How old is your LO? If she is younger than 18 months I personally would go with a loving MIL and spend the money for nursery on classes as I think one on one care is really important at that age, if possible. Nursery is great too of course if you have a good one but I'm not sure babies under 18 months get much out of the socialisation aspect.

If they won't do naps on your schedule you should try and get her to nap at home at the same time as nursery.

 

[Noelle610]

Would it be possible for her to have two naps at nursery? Sounds like she needs 2!

 

[MrsPMP]

How old is your LO? A good nursery for babies should give your baby naps when SHE needs them. It's part of meeting individual needs. As for the lunch, that is harder, but if you ask, they SHOULD be able to give her her lunch when she needs it, it just means she might not be eating with other babies at the time.
If they can't help you meet her needs and she hates it, then I say take her out...but then I am not a fan of nurseries so others might disagree with me.
Try and make sure you can give her to her keyworker when you drop her off if you can and make sure she has a keyworker you like, who you know and can chat with about her. It might take a few weeks for her to build a relationship with her keyworker, and it should be her keyworkers aim to do this

 

[kanga]

My lo started going for 2 days 2 months ago and 21m so it's a little different. I would take her out for now, ESP if you have other options. She can socialise later. I'm a firm believer that one in one Is best up to the age of 2 as far as that is possible. With ether mother or grandmother. And second is nursery and socialising. That's just my opinion though.

I've been hot on my nursery s tail ever since he started going. Making sure I know everything about what's happening and giving advice on what I want them to do to make sure he is as comfortable as possible there. I don't feel bad about it, the are providing me with a service and my son is the most important thing in the world to me.

Good luck with what you decide.

Edited to say. My mum had my lo 3 days a week for the first 8 months of me being back at work, she now has him one day. Se took him to all the groups I used to and to his music class. She made friends with anther grandma and had play dates with her. Also play dates with my friends. My mum is awesome and listens to me though, plus she has worked in childcare all her life so she is up for doing all this stuff. If your mil isn't going to listen to you, could you do a childminder or nanny instead?

 

[2011butterfly]

How old is LO?

Whatever you do, do not take your child out of nursery. First of all two weeks is not long enough for the child to get used to nursery, I'd give it a bit longer, and please be consistent with LO attending nursery, and even your morning routine on the day you take LO to nursery.
A suggestion to help her get used to nursery quicker is to increase days to 3 if only for one month.

The more LO is at nursery the more they get used to it, and the quicker they settle.

As a nursery nurse, we have children who have been their for a year plus, but get a bit tearful when dropped off and separating from the parent. However these tears don't last long, and a good nursery nurse is able to distract the child and most of the time the child enjoys the rest of the day.

Tbh, I would expect the nursery to do things (such as sending pictures of her home) to help give you peace of mind.

Counter to what others have said, young children do socialise with other children. I've seen two children aged 9 months and 13 months play peek-a-boo with each other. And their is research of the benefits of nursery.

I hope this helps, if you want more clarification or advice, feel free to message me

 

[scottiejunior]

I'm in a similar position and my lo started 2 weeks ago. She's still bit upset at first and isn't eating/sleeping as much but I know she will settle eventually. I think it's good for her (and all the other kids seem happy like at ur Los nursery). Stick it out it will get better.

As pp have said def ask them to sick to your routine You have at home (most are accommodating)