O/T sorry just needed to get off chest...

[welshmummy2be]

had a huge argument with other half....

since we got live for the xbox all he seems to do is live on it, he's been on it for 3 days solid now without doing anything but making a cup of tea. now i know i can be a bit of a moaning murtle when it comes to the shape of my house and house rules but he really takes it to far. one rule is that there is no smoking in the house what so ever, neither me or obviously LO smokes but he does... so ive asked a few times today have he smoked in the house as i can smell it an he told me he's gone outside...well i walked in the kitchen to find him standing on the inner side of the door practicaly in the midle of the kitchen (granted it was open) and i threw a bit of a wobbly about it saying he was subjecting his daughter to second-hand smoke. so i decided after this fall out that i wanted to get away from him and calm down (i went and sorted out my LO's cot which she's never slept in as his sister died of SIDS and he's insecure about it along with other various things in her room) and he comes barging in slamming the door and getting in my face and eventually pushing me around. (im not saying im getting beaten up or he's a bad man because he wasnt/isnt) anyway this is one of many arguements, i just dont feel like he's pulling his weight and i cant do it for him anymore...im seriously considering ending our relationship, im fed up of putting up with shit that i dont have to.

sorry ladies/gents about this its just im so frustrated at the moment and didnt really know where else to go at 3am

 

[angel2010]

Can I be honest with you? He sounds like a total asshole. You say that he isn't a bad guy, but pushing you is NOT acceptable at all! I think you need to decide if this is a person you want to be with the rest of your life? What if he pushed around your daughter, would he still not be a bad guy? I know that sounded harsh, but just showing you another point of view.
Massive hugs!! I hope that you figure things out. You know that we are always here for you!

 

[QueenMummyToBe]

Just wanted to sent you some hugs!
My husband would happily do the same thing on his ps3!
He used to stay on it until 3am ish then want to sleep until 11 when I had done all night feeds & been up 4hrs with both children!
So one night he came up at three & Tristan woke at 5 & I made him do it then when they both woke up at 7.30am he had to get up too & I slept!

When I say used to I mean this stopped a few weeks ago!

And we went through a period when we argued every day more than once a day, it was awful & he still didn't pull his weight (most of our arguments are about housework or lack of sleep) so I followed some advice I read on bnb & one week I went out everyday with both children & didn't tell him where. I didn't even speak to him & he was on late shift so when he got home I'd be in bed & on his day off I went to the seaside with my mum & the children.
I came home to a tidy house, my fave chinese meal & a husband that told me he was at a complete loose end without us all around!

I hope you don't mind me telling our tale & I hope things improve for you

xXx

 

[welshmummy2be]

thanks ladies, i agree him pushing me is not acceptable and he knows this...besides the pushing and the xbox he is a good guy. if the xbox wasnt involved he'd pull his way. as for him pushing my LO he wouldnt dare, my dad aka sperm dona used to beat my mam so if i ever felt threatened by him in this way id be gone like a long shot (he pushes me out of his way more than in a violent way should of made that more clear sorry) anyway ive now told him he's to stay well clear of me and that i will live upstairs whilst he stays down and if he wants our daughter then he is to come and ask me for her as i do the majority of the looking after (every night shift since born, every bath, always wash bottles, do 9 times out of 10 in regards to bums and tums)

anyway b4 i go into an essay thanks again ladies

 

[angel2010]

He does sound a tiny bit better after clearing that up. Hopefully it will only take a week or two before the xbox live loses its newness (don't think that is a real word). I hope that your plan works, as they say you don't know what you have til its gone.

 

[beth0703]

i think living one up one down could put tension in the house and your little one will probably sense that but i do understand that thats there home and you want to keep them there. I had the xbox problem while pregnant! quite a few xbox games got snapped in half through me hating the thing! i didnt have the guts to break the actual thing tho it would be a waste of money lol. Any way thankfully the baby arrived and now he barely goes on the thing. I have laid down the rule howevr that it stays upstairs as there us sociable and the living room is the family area. so maybee you shoyuld tell him to move upstairs then your not restricted in your own home.
I do know men who sit on call of duty and 18 rated games infront of there todlers which i also think is out of order! some are violent and grusome so try not to let that happen either it can warp there mind lol.

anyway i hope you sorth things i dont think anyone can honestly say living with a man or having a baby comes argument free but you will hopefully get through it xx

 

[aliss]

Have you tried talking to him with "I" statements?

Instead of "get off that damn xbox and help me" (not sure if that's how you said it, but I know I sure as hell have ), you could sit down with him and say "I feel like I could really use some more help with "X"', "It hurts me when you smoke inside, we've talked about the risks, etc"...

Yes, what he's doing is wrong, perhaps there is a better way to reach him rather than be confrontational iykwim?

 

[KatelynsMummy]

my OH is the same with the xbox.. up until 3 am, not awake until 1pm..
I got mad, and shouted, we had a massive argument and I told him he either pulls his weight or I'm leaving and he can see his daughter on a weekend.. I walked out and was out for about 4 hours... When I got back, there was a candle lit dinner on the table, the house was spotless and the xbox had been put away, hes now much more reasonable, they need telling straight sometimes, hope things get better

 

[beth0703]

my OH is the same with the xbox.. up until 3 am, not awake until 1pm..
I got mad, and shouted, we had a massive argument and I told him he either pulls his weight or I'm leaving and he can see his daughter on a weekend.. I walked out and was out for about 4 hours... When I got back, there was a candle lit dinner on the table, the house was spotless and the xbox had been put away, hes now much more reasonable, they need telling straight sometimes, hope things get better

haha this made me giggle! you got him told definatly!

 

[KatelynsMummy]

my OH is the same with the xbox.. up until 3 am, not awake until 1pm..
I got mad, and shouted, we had a massive argument and I told him he either pulls his weight or I'm leaving and he can see his daughter on a weekend.. I walked out and was out for about 4 hours... When I got back, there was a candle lit dinner on the table, the house was spotless and the xbox had been put away, hes now much more reasonable, they need telling straight sometimes, hope things get better

haha this made me giggle! you got him told definatly!

i know how to get my own way with him