OH can't comfort baby..

[nkbapbt]

I am really struggling with this one...I am very much attachment parenting Lakai, however my hubby is a little different when it comes to it. He does some times allow Lakai to cry, not cry it out. But he will let Lakai cry for an hour in his arms before he will ever wake me up or call me to come home if I go out without Lakai (not very often!).

I know he will not change this.

What tips can I do to try to get him able to comfort Lakai? Is it maybe just not possible? It hasn't been so far. So far if I am there...I take over. But I feel like they should have their own thing that provides comfort for baby and OH!!

Any ideas?

 

[Angel21]

My DH is like this, he sees no problem with Joey crying. If he doesn't settle, say in the evenings when he is fussy, DH will simply put him down. I go mental! I had to get out of the bath 2 seconds after I got in gthe other night because I heard DH say "well if you won't settle here, you can go in your swing". I hit the roof! I wish he could see my point of view or at least humour me while I have a bath etc....! I'm so tired, I carry/hold Joey most of the day.
Sorry, no ideas, but thought you'd like to know you aren't alone x

 

[saraendepity]

hey hun, has he tried some skin to skin in a wrap/sling or having a nice bath with him? sorry i cant think of anything else right now i'm still half asleep!!

sara

xxxxxxxx

 

[nkbapbt]

He has tried both..nothing works. Its getting to the point where my poor hubby says things like "he hates me" and "our son doesn't love me". It truly breaks my heart, but on the other hand, he also gets so frustrated. Where I see a crying baby who is helpless to express emotions let alone control them, he sees a crying baby preventing him from working (which he does at home). Not to say he is a bad dad, by no means is he! But he doesn't handle crying the same way I do.

I think Lakai is just more comforted by my calmness and well because I supply the b. juice! hehe..

Sigh. I think at least till he is older I will just have to be the source of comfort and the place he will fall asleep.

One quick question will it cause any issues in the future if I am the only one who can get him to sleep?

Thanks ladies!

 

[Angel21]

I find that DH can get Joe to sleep, I think it is purely down to his "aloofness". I get upset because Joe is upset, but if I hand him over to DH who's attitude is "he is crying, but he is cared for, fed, winded, dry, right temp etc, crying will not kill him...", so he is a lot more at ease with the crying than me, and Joe must pick up on this. He sleeps a few minutes after going to his dad if he is tired x

 

[Kitten]

Hubby gets very frustrated by the crying too, I think because he doesn't understand what he wants. We disagree a lot about why the baby is crying and I'm always right. He's able to comfort him though, he walks him round but you can tell he resents it, iykwim?

 

[nkbapbt]

I have to ask...what does iykwim mean? I dont even know what BFP means..I suck.

 

[Kitten]

Oh sorry "if you know what I mean"

BFP means big fat positive (for when you get a positive preg test result) and BFN is a negative result