OH doesnt seem to be coping

sweetsammi

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I cant help but worry cus i dont get the impression my OH is enjoying parent-hood. Dont get me wrong, its clear he loves his little boy and hes a good daddy. But when we cant get Oliver to settle and he wakes us up for a feed in the night my OH doesnt seem to have much patience and raises his voice. He is sometimes quite selfish aswel. For example we where out shopping the other day and Oliver had sticky eyes..by the afternoon he couldnt open them they where so swollen and sore so i said i was taking him doctors right away and my OH went really grumpy and started moaning about how we never get a day to ourselves any more..i went barmy! Never mind shoppin, our son is poorly for gods sake! He seems to wish Olivers life away aswel. He'll often say he cant wait til he is older so he can get some sleep..i dont want him to be older, i dont wanna miss any of these precious moments we have right now. I have tried talkin to him and this leads to a big row :( Then finally he will apologise and say he didnt mean it..but then he does it all over again. I just want him to enjoy his son and make the most of the time he has with him as a newborn cus he'll never be this young again. I tell him hes just a tiny innocent baby and doesnt understand and that raising his voice wil only upset him more. i understand its hard-it is for me too. and its normal to feel frustrated etc... but i have to be strong and put on a happy face for Oliver and my OH 's behaviour gets me angry. x
 
:hugs: my hubby was very simialr and really didnt take to Ewan at first, even telling me he hated him and would never love him, when he was only 3 weeks old. I think men can get post natal depression, suddenly he has to share you with him, your whole being is to your little boy and sometimes i dont think they can handle that.
Ewan is now two and my hubby loves him to bits and would never be without him.
But it is very stressful when you have a new baby to contend with and a grumpy hubby!
It will get better i'm sure.
 
Your whole world has just changed!! Your OH may be feeling a little bewildered with the situation(like many men are!!) Its often difficult for men (as well as mums) to adjust and i am sure with time it will become much easier-in the meantime try not to 4get to spend some time together as a couple as its very easy just to fall into mummy/daddy role all the time. Try to encourage him to do things like bathing baby to help his bonding(and use the time to do something for you!!) its a major change to go from a couple to a family, try to relax and enjoy it.
x:hugs:
 
My OH was like that for a little while too! It seems to me they take longer to adapt to the change than we do!
When Noah was a month or so and the tiredness really kicked in my OH lost it a few times, he's normally quite calm but he did raise his voice a few times, at one point I picked Noah up out of his cot with his blankets and said 'If your son is such an inconvienience we'll stay in the spare room!' he soon apoligised! We did fall out quite a lot but its just the stress and the lack of sleep and the BIG CHANGE! (and the fact men have no common sense)

Things will get easier.....PROMISE!! You'll start to get in to a routine and everything will start to fall in to place!!
 
Think the other girls have answered it - even answered it for me how stressful it can be be between two ppl so thanks.

:hugs: Sammi

Tell him how its making you feel - do you have someone close (relative) who could have bubs for a couple of hours whist you nip out for some you time and talk about it?
 
Sounds as though the other ladies have answered your ques hun, DH may be feeling really overwhelmed. Try talking to him again but when you do don't talk to him by pointing out all the things he does wrong, just ask him how he feels, ask him if he is overwhelmed or feels distant/like an outsider etc. That way he can open up to you more and perhaps your convo won't end up in an argument. Just an idea. But plenty of hugs for you hun! Hope things turn around for you soon. Give it time (HUGS)
 
Hey Sweetsammi
Do you think perhaps either of you are struggling wtih baby blues or postnatal depression? Perhaps he's feeling unable to bond with your child or distant from you? Might be that he doesn't know how to express his feelings? Don't know if this helps :S Sounds like a frusterating situation.
 
Sweetsammi, doing any better hun? I know it has only been a few days.
 

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