OH doesnt want to try for another :o(

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by moomoo, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    my OH has told me that he wants to wait for a while before trying for another baby..im so sad, i want to start trying again ASAP, its the only way i'm going to start to get over it..has anyone else had this? :cry:
     
  2. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    He probably is sad too, he is grieving. As much as you want to try, I think he needs his time too. He will probably feel more inclined in a month, and that will give your body a rest and a regular cycle. x0x0
     
  3. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with JASMAK. Men don't show emotions as well as we do but I'm sure he is probably grieving. It's always good to give your body a rest anyways. I know it is hard to wait though. Good luck hun.
     
  4. tillymum

    tillymum New mom

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    I agree with the other posts. It is such an emotional time for both of you, and it is likely that he has watched you go through this and felt unable to help so it may be that he wants to protect you from going through this again :hugs:
     
  5. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    men find it harder 2 deal with than women. my hubbys never got over our babies losses. he is probally 2 scared itl happen again.
    waiting doesnt do harm anyway itl be good for you 2 get your body back on track.
    xx
     
  6. Freya

    Freya Toddler and baby

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    Ahhhh, a familiar story here for me! My OH wanted to wait after my last m/c and I was devestated. I was so ready to try again straight away, in fact I phsyically ached with wanting to have a baby. All I can say is, try not to 'fight' your OH on this one...... I did and it really drove us to breaking point and then of course it 'justified' us not trying again because our relationship was so strainined!

    I bit the bullet (& my tongue!!!)... said nothing about trying... agreed and to a degree kept a lid on my desperation to be pregnant. In hind sight it was best we WTT as we both needed to heal and concentrate on 'us'. Because our relationship grew stronger than ever it wasn't long before OH wanted to try again - although I had to pluck up the courage to ask him and was frightened to death he'd say no!

    He wanted to wait a year..... we waited 6 months. It's so easy to say 'wait', because I know exactly how you feel physically and emotionally but I do know you cant push a man on this.... He'll never know how hard it is for you to WTT after a m/c, but hopefully he'll deal with his feelings and be ready to try real soon.

    Wishing you well and fingers crossed you'll be announcing a BFP in the next few months. xxxx :hugs:
     
  7. juliespencer9

    juliespencer9 Well-Known Member

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    moomoo i think u will find he will come around after maybe 2 weeks, hes prob just disheartened.
    once hes thought about it and afew wks have passed he will prob wanna get you preg real quick...hopefully this will be the case, men are funny things!

    how you feeling anyway?

    x
     
  8. chrissie33

    chrissie33 Mummy to two monkeys

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    I think the hardest part for the man is that they have even less control than us and they can do nothing to make it better. My poor Dh has seen me go through 2 assisted MC and seen how much pain I was in and really struggled with being able to do nothing.... they hate to see us in so much emotional and physical pain, especially when they cannot fix it. Give him a little time to come to terms with your loss as you have both lost a baby and then maybe sit down with him and ask him the reason he wants to wait - I wouldnt mind betting his reasons are more to do with you than himself and once you have ascertained that, you can then try to explain that YOU are ready and willing to take the risk.... good luck babe - I agree with Freya, dont push him on it at the moment as it could make matters worse for your relationship xx
     
  9. honeybunch2k7

    honeybunch2k7 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, he may be sad. I'm having that issue with OH. One time he told me he was traumatized and was afraid of going thru it again and only after much, much prying.
     
  10. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    hi guys! sorry i havent been on for a while..i feel as though i've neglected you!! me and other half have decided we are going to try again as soon as i get the all clear...my body wants to be pregnant again...fingers crossed we wont have any more bad BAD luck. Its all we seem to have lately. I'm going to keep updating on this board, as i feel as though i can help and support you (moreso than most doctors!) I will let you know how scan goes on weds and keep your fingers crossed for me that i get the all clear to :sex: and wish you all many many :bfp: s! Lots of love. XxMooMooXx
     
  11. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    Hope your scan goes well hun :) and good luck for another bfp xxx
     
  12. honeybunch2k7

    honeybunch2k7 Well-Known Member

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    Good luck moomoo!
     
  13. applegirl

    applegirl mum of 1 and adopting

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    great news honey. I know - my OH found it difficult too. He didn't like seeing me so sad and wanted to protect me from it. Glad you and your OH are coming to this decision together. :hugs:
     

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