Oh God i am a bad mum already!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Armywife, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. Armywife

    Armywife Mummy to 2 beauties

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    I am a terrible person and an even worse mummy :cry:

    As most of you know i am sick with shingles at the moment, they are so painful its unbelievable. Every time i cough or sneeze or move too quickly its like i get electric shocks all through the area where they are. The problem is they are on my tummy so every time LO kicks its pure agony! Her feet seem to be exactly where my spots are. Its so frustrating as i don't know when she is going to do it and she's just soooo active! Well today i feel worse than ever and she has been kicking since first thing and i snapped just now and shouted at her :cry: I think she knows because she's been less wriggly since but i didn't mean it. I'm just so tired and feel so poorly and now i feel horrible and like i will be horrid and bad tempered when she's here :cry:
     
  2. Wombat

    Wombat Married mum of 2:)

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    I'll tell you a secret.....




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    After you LO will be born there will be moments when you will want not only to shout but give her a good slap too... The shouting bit almoust certanly will be there...
    But, does it makes us bad mums? No, no and again no. I have never met a mum who never shouted (even for a second out of frustration) on her child/baby. And if you meet one, either she is a saint or a lier (I have never met any saints in my life, so I guess it will be second option).
    So, you are not a bad mum. You are just like any other human being. And it doesn't make you a bad person :hug:
     
  3. star-dust

    star-dust Guest

    what she said^^^ couldnt have worded it better myself

    :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  4. Armywife

    Armywife Mummy to 2 beauties

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    Thank you! That has made me feel much better. I'm starting to realise that this whole motherhood thing is going to be a constant guilt trip! I have never felt guilt like that moment just there, guess i better get used to it! Nice to know its not just me though. Thank you x x x
     
  5. Sam_Star

    Sam_Star Mummy to a Battle Maiden

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    I had been up for three straight days with my youngest boy and because i was breast feeding DH could not do anything to help bless him!! Anyway on the third night i snapped put my shoes on (with my pj's) and said right thats it im off i cant take anymore got as far as the garden gate and went back (boobs leaking hehe) as soon as i got upstairs DH said i was an awful mum who "abandons her child just because life gets hard" i was cut up for months i think it still affects me slightly but i've realised i'm NOT a bad mum i was just a shattered woman!!
     
  6. PrincessSoph

    PrincessSoph Well-Known Member

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    awww hunni - you are not a bad mum at all!! :hugs: your gonna be the best mum ever!
     
  7. HeidiLSparks

    HeidiLSparks Mom of 2 & 1 on the way!

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    :hugs::hugs::hugs:

    I agree with what wombat said honey! You are not a bad mommy. :hug:
     
  8. Seraphim

    Seraphim Amazing Baby Girl

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    *Cheers Wombat*

    My mummy/daddy friends all tell me parent is 50% love, 50% guilt 'get used to it' ;)

    :hugs:
     
  9. K477uk

    K477uk Mum of One!

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    Hip hip horray for Wombat!

    :hugs: to you! You will be a fine mum!xx
     
  10. smith87999

    smith87999 Mom of 4

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    This was said so perfectly... I agree completely... you are definitely not a bad mom... you are in pain and tired... and frustrated... don't beat yourself up.. you will be a wonderful mom... you are just having a tough day... the fact that you feel bad for doing it says it all.... :hugs:

    If it makes you feel any better... I have days when I raise my voice just a little too often... are a little harder on the boys than I need to be... I have gone into their rooms at night to put them to bed and apologized through tears for not being the perfect mom that day.. It is okay... :hugs:
     
  11. lisa_33

    lisa_33 Well-Known Member

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    aww hun, dont beat yourself up about it...your not feeling well, which is difficult enough but worse when your pregnant xx
     
  12. DNA0930

    DNA0930 <3 Baby L & Baby Q <3

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    Perfectly said!!! :)
     
  13. nikkip75

    nikkip75 Well-Known Member

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    i agree with everything said aswell, and let me tell you something else, i feel guilty about EVERYTHING!!!!!

    i feel guilty i have started my 3yr old at nursery, cos i dont work!
    i feel guilty if i dont give my kids fruit an veg with a meal
    i feel guilty if i buy myself new clothes and shoes and nothing for the kids
    i feel guilty if my OH tell the kids off!!!!! explain that one....????

    oh god i could go on and on!!!motherhood is just one big guilt trip :rofl::hissy:

    your NORMAL, not a bad mummmy :hugs:
     
  14. djgirl1976

    djgirl1976 Expecting our 1st

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    Here's one for you. I feel guilty because I was really annoyed when I found out I was pregnant. Seriously, for a few weeks, when I realized that it was poorly timed, was going to ruin my wild summer behaviors, keep DH and I from going on a trip for our first aniversary. Oh yeah, I was feeling totally selfish.
    Once it sunk in that I was having a BAYBEE, I wasn't just pregnant, I felt terrible.
    Still do, a little, but this is a lifestyle change for me, and though it wasn't prevented, I had no CLUE it would happen so quick.
    Like I said, the timing wan't what I hoped for, so all I thought about at first was me. How awful is that?
    Now I am excited to be a mom, and to love this baby like crazy, but I still feel guilty. It will be the first on a long list of things I will end up feeling guilty for.
     
  15. Tsia

    Tsia My MyloMan - he turned 1!

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    its natural for a mother to shout and show the offspring the boundary.

    For example.. my dog will take so much of chewing her legs and biting her ears from her 9 weeks old puppy we kept.. but when the pup pushes the boundary.. the mum turns with a gentle BUT LOUD bark.. and it soon stops the pup in its tracks. Its just natures way of disciplining the offspring.
    Dont worry.. you'll be great.. already showing signs that you wont be walked over. :hugs:
     
  16. kookie

    kookie pregnant with no 4

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    aww hun your not a bad mum at all hope you feel better soon xx
     
  17. Waiting4Baby

    Waiting4Baby Well-Known Member

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    I actually told Lincoln to quit kicking me today... he does it in this spot that just feels WEIRD and it drives me CRAZY. But I did it before I was at the point of yelling.

    Anyway, I'm sure I'll snap and yell at my kids.
     

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