OH is finally gone for good I think

[baby287]

We have been having problems lately, he came home late.from the bar and drunk. I got mad so of course he got mean. He wouldnt leave me alone and I had my sleeping son right next to me so I made an attempt to go get my mom (we are staying with my parents for now) and he runs after me, grabs me drags me back into my room and doesnt let me out.
Anyways I finally got to her, he's gone and I feel safe again. So glad lo didnt wake up.
Sorry just needed to vent, I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone else about it and I'm a little shaken up atm... Ironically we had a therapy appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning. Guess im going alone.
Can't believe it's over.

 

[superfrizbee]

Hun I am so sorry, but it sounds like youre better off out of it for your sake and your LO. At least you can look back on the therapy and know you did what you could to save your relationship. There will be no "what ifs". Next time he could turn more violent, and is that the kind of environment you want to raise your child in? It's hard now, but you'll look back one day when youre happy with someone else and know you did the right thing!

 

[baby287]

Thank you. I never want lo to see behavior like that in our home and think thats at all normal or ok. I just need to move on. Why is it that I feel bad for oh right now? Because I know he's embarrassed and probably regrets what he did.. But I just wish I didn't feel sorry for him. Ugh. I hate all of this

 

[MiniKiwi]

I agree with frizbee, you're better off without him. You can be happy in a healthy relationship with someone who respects you. Violence is so pathetic, and from your partner AND in front of your baby. Smh!

 

[LDC]

Sorry you're having a tough time, but you and your LO are definitely better off without him.

I was in a relationship like that before I got with my husband and had LO. Men like that can be very manipulative and it is no fun feeling scared in you're own home (it's more your home than his!).

Good luck Hun, I hope things get easier for you

Xx

 

[mommytobe11]

 

[AnneD]

I think you're better out of it. You don't want to live in fear, and you don't want your child to grow up thinking such things are normal or even expected in a relationship.

Yes, he's probably embarrassed now, but of what? His behaviour or the fact that you've left him? It's usually the latter as far as my experience goes.

 

[carlyjade86]

Elliot's dad was like that... Maybe even worse. He would do things like pin me down and spit in my face, all in front of Elliot between ages of 6mths - 1yr before I plucked up the courage and left. Figured its better to be on my own forever than to be with him. I look at him now, and at his girlfriend, and thank my lucky stars that I didn't lumber myself with him for any longer than I did. I would have no quality of life.

My oh isn't perfect by any means, but he give me n my kids the best of the best n works hard for it.

If your OH is treating u anyway less than how a princess should be treated, and disrespecting you like that in your parents house, u sound better off without him. But, at the same time, the fact he was willing to go to counselling suggests that he knows his faults and actively wants to change maybe? U need to chat and follow ur head, not ur heart. If it doesn't work out and u spilt? There is someone out their somewhere who is worthy of you and your baby

 

[pinklightbulb]

 

[Lady_Bee]

I'm so sorry I think you made a wise choice. You're right it's not normal or ok. There's never an excuse for getting physical. You and LO deserve far better. Hope you're ok.

 

[superfrizbee]

Thank you. I never want lo to see behavior like that in our home and think thats at all normal or ok. I just need to move on. Why is it that I feel bad for oh right now? Because I know he's embarrassed and probably regrets what he did.. But I just wish I didn't feel sorry for him. Ugh. I hate all of this

Because youre a good person, because you know what he's losing by his behaviour and because you know it's his fault it didnt work out and one day he's going to realise and really kick himself. But that aside - get out, get out, get out and protect your LO from his influence because that's the kind of situation where often men's behaviour escalates to worse physical violence.

 

[socitycourty]

you should still go to therapy regardless....you need to talk to someone anonymous and unbiased about what has happened to you.....

 

[greats]

You are so strong for leaving!!!! It takes a lot of courage & strength to do what you did. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

 

[baby287]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone I'm still going to therapy to sort out my thoughts. some of the things he said and did last night were just so mean.

He told me.. ”Look at me, come on, do you know the kind of girls I pass up every night??? What's keeping me here...?”

and then when I wouldn't give him a reaction he threw a plastic toy at my head which bounced and hit sleeping lo and looked at me and said..” Why'd you throw that at him?”

Told me that I have issues from being couped up in the house and I am the cause for all of the problems in our relationship.

I just don't see how I deserved any of this.

 

[Bevziibubble]

You did the right thing. He has no right to throw stuff at you, that's bad that it hit LO
He's just saying stuff like he passes up girls to make you jealous and get a reaction I reckon, hence his anger when he didn't get a reaction.

You can do without him, you deserve better xx

 

[ElmaWG]

What a douche. Really. He doesn't deserve you. Or anyone for that matter. He deserves to be by himself. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad he's gone and I hope it stays that way. Thank goodness you were at your mom's.

 

[numommy2b]

I just don't see how I deserved any of this.

You didn't. Don't ever think you did.

 

[preggymammy]

 

[Faith1025]

Prayers and hugs to you! No one ever deserves this.

 

[Randianne]

I just don't see how I deserved any of this.

You didn't. Don't ever think you did.

This. Absolutely this.

He doesn't deserve you. Don't feel sorry for him. He sounds insanely manipulative. You deserve better. You will find better.