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Oh just said he might not want second

Flip flop

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Hi. Been ttc number 2 since about June. We already have a 2 year old boy who is lovely but it hasn't been an easy ride him and he very demanding (although I know they all are). We had a hard time with him as a baby as he had lots of feeding problems.

Anyway I'm keen for a second (maybe obsessing slightly) since we decided we would try again. Nothing has happened yet (took a year last time) but all of a sudden out of the blue last night DH suddenly said he doesn't know if he can handle the stress of a second and he's worried about having a mental breakdown or something If he can't handle it.

I don't know what to do now. I'm gutted about this but have to respect his wishes. I always wanted more than 1 child and was all excited about having another.

He was drunk when he said all this so I'm hoping he changes his mind

Just wanted to vent this and see what people think I should do.
 
I can imagine your feeling pretty upset by this Hun, and in all honesty I would be too. If he was drunk when he said it I'd perhaps leave it until he's sober and back to his normal self and speak to him again and ask his true feelings towards ttc no2.

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/246197//thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart
 
I think you should get a family member or friend to look after you son for an hour or so and have a proper chat with your OH.

It's not fair that he make a statement like that. It's very selfish really as he's not taken in to consideration your feelings or thoughts.

Maybe he's tired of the TWW? I know my BF finds it hardwork, but he wants a baby.
 
Thanks for replies. Funnily enough it's our anniversary today and we are going away for a couple of days without our son. I was hoping we might conceive as I think ovulation time is coming up so really dissapointed. We will discuss it though and hopefully he will come round.
 
I'm sorry this has happened it must be hard! It definitely warrants a heart to heart with your DH. I'm sure he wasn't intentionally trying to be selfish or hurt you. Sometimes the only way to get your feelings out is with a little liquid courage. That being said, just because he feels that way doesn't mean that your TTC will end. Maybe all he needs is his feelings to be validated and to talk through his fears/concerns? Good luck and happy anniversary!
 
Thanks autumnflower. We discussed it again on the way to our trip but I wasn't being very nice and was demanding an answer he couldn't give at the time. I was trying to say how much it meant to me. So I apologised later as It wasn't the right way to go about it.

Anyway we are still away and have Dtd's twice so far (no protection) so he can't be that bothered!

I hope he did just need to get it off his chest!
 
You're very welcome and I'm glad to hear things are still moving along in the bedroom dept. Lol! Lots of :dust:
 
We haven't really talked about it again since but I'm not in the pill and he knows that.

I'm scared to bring it up again incase it has a negative outcome. But not mentioning it is leaving me in limbo, but at least that way there's still a chance it could happen.

Don't know what to do :(
 
Sorry to hear about the limbo! I understand why you're hesitant to bring it up. Hopefully the right time presents itself! Hang in there!
 
Hopefully this is the month then that would be It! I dive think is though because I think I o'd later than my app said and we didnt dtd much since we were away
 
Ok so he's started saying all that stuff again. I never got pregnant last month (although still waiting on af).

We didn't bd much last month. We did last night though and he made sure to pull out. So I asked him if it was intentional and that's when we started discussing it again. He said he's decided he doesn't want another.

I'm heart broken and don't know what to do now :(
 
Aw hun, sending big hugs to you, has he given his reasons for not wanting another? Xxx
 
He says he can't handle the stress and we can't afford it. He's said he's enjoying the way his life is at the moment. If we had another he couldn't handle the stress and he's be too skint to do anything.

I've sitting all morning with ds in tears and tying to think of what to do. Last night l even said if he didn't agree id have to think of all the options (ie leave him). Feel awful for saying it now

Should I write him a letter?
 
If a letter is how you can get how you feel over to him then I would x
 
I gave him a letter this morning. He came down and eventually said he'd have a think but he wants to look for a new job first. I said that was ok, I think he's just a bit stressed out at the moment as he hates his job. I said id help him find a new one.

I really hope he has a change of heart. Still a bit confused about what's happening at the moment, i don't want to go back on the pill and he hasn't suggested it.
 
Oh flip flop thats terrible news I really hope he changes his mind....dont forget to let him know his kids will love him forever and money wont, we all have times we go through financial hardship but its what you do for your family :) hope it all works out for you hun xx
 
Thanks all. Still no sign of af and 3 days late, bfn though. I'll keep u all updated.
 
I've been silently following flip flop. FX for your BFP. With my 2 boys I didnt even get a slight BFP till 5-7 days late. :dust:
 
Aw thanks Tink. With my son I got a positive really early, at like 9dpo or something. Would have expected the same but you never know.

I really hope it is, but is that selfish because I know DH doesn't want that now?
 
I can empathise, my DH announced that he didn't want another child and I was devastated. A lot of people told me that I would just have to accept and respect his decision, but I personally felt that he wasn't respecting mine. I had the very same conversation you had...if we want different things then I would leave etc...then I thought just subtly chip away and he finally announced that he wanted another, and he thinks it was all his idea ;)

Hang in there, all is not lost xx
 

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