OH making me stressed out & i don't know where to turn.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Mrsctobe, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    Hi I've had a tough pregnancy so far been hospitalised at 7weeks due to not being able to keep anything down and being really dehidrated. was pretty much sick all day everyday. now i'm maybe sick once or twice a day. when i was in hospital oh came to visit with the kids and said "what are you in here for theres nothing wrong with you" and "ask if you can get out tonight so i can go to work tomorrow and you can look after the kids" he made out it was a joke but it upset me. pretty much since i've been pregnant he's spoke to me like crap but makes out it's all a joke and i'm me thats taking it the wrong way.
    Tonight he was tickling me and i leaned on his arm by accident but he was fine so i laughed and he said "yeah laugh see if you think it's so funny when your in labour and i'm pointing and laughing and saying haha your fa**y is killing you. he has also made plenty of comments about how inconsiderate my long labours are and how i cant just go into labour at day time. i've told him on numeorous occasions it upsets me and if he continues he wont be coming to the scan (which is monday) and the birth. to which he says i'm in the wrong.
    I had pnd with our 2nd daughter and i feel because of him its coming back again. i dont want to talk to health professions about this and i have no family. i pretty much dont have any support. ive been crying again tonight and i dont know where to turn or who to talk to.

    thanks for reading.

    Ps if it helps the baby was planned.
     
  2. mommy2lilmen

    mommy2lilmen Well-Known Member

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    awww. Some men are just heartless and just dont realize. THey think its *the every day normal* for a pregnancy to happen and that women should just suck it up and not complain. Hmmm Like you said above, youd like to se how he would be in labor etc LOL How about write him a letter on how you feel and what you would like out of him?
    What baby is this for you?
    Im glad the baby was planned, it makes things a bit easier on you both.
    :hugs:
    Edited whats pnd? Sorry for my ignorance.
     
  3. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Jeez, he sounds like an insensitive prick! No wonder you are upset. Is he always that immature (or is he young?) I think you need to sit him down and explain to him that he has to try and be more supportive and understanding about how difficult it is for you. He sounds completely wrapped up in his own little world oblivious to how shit pregnancy can make you feel and more worried about himself and how it is affecting him. You cant risk your pnd coming back hun so I think its important that you talk to him or if you dont feel you can then talk to your doctor. You shouldnt bottle it up so its good that you have posted on here. :hugs: x
     
  4. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    Pnd is post natal depression and this is my third.
    Hes 34btw. it's him thats getting to me ive tried telling him he upsets me but he blames me all the time and im sick of crying over him.:cry:
     
  5. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Christ he doesnt act 34 does he?! You definately need to speak to him hun and explain to him how upset you are and how you are feeling about your relationship. x
     
  6. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    I have tried i really have. but all i get is blame he blames me for everything and denys everything he does. and says im the one in the wrong. i dont know what to do anymore:thumbup:
    prob end up crying myself to sleep tonight.
     
  7. mommy2lilmen

    mommy2lilmen Well-Known Member

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    Im sorry. thanks for your reply
    I thought it had something to do with depression. I hit that when I was pregnant with my 5th.. I hope you will be ok.
    Hope he stops blaming you. Its so easy for them to take our pregnancy, turn it into our fault that we are so hormonal and such. He does sound immature but there must be a reason wy hes this way. Not right to be this way. I hope it stops and you can be happy agin.
     
  8. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    I don't know why he's this way i guess he been like this off/on for years. i cant take it anymore but i cant handle being on my own
     
  9. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Has this been going on for a long time or just since you got pregnant? Have you thought about councilling or is he the type that would flatly refuse to even consider it? Its not good for you to go through this whilst you are feeling so awful cause of your pregnancy sweetie. You must be exhausted. :hugs:x
     
  10. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    he's been like this years. it's not all been bad honest. on top of that his family are horrible to me. (they dont know im pregnant) i feel so scared and alone.
     
  11. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Have you got any close friends or any family that you can speak to about it hun? Its really important that you dont bottle it up and that you speak to someone.x
     
  12. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    I havn't got anyone to talk to.x
     
  13. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    Please PM me anytime you want to talk or just have someone listen to how you feeling. I might not always be able to help but Im here if you need anything. :hugs:

    I gotta go to bed now as shattered but try and get a good nights sleep and try not to think too much about it all. Take care. xx
     
  14. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    Thank you so much i appriciate that :hugs: xxxx
     
  15. marieceline75

    marieceline75 Member

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    I understand how you feel. I had exactly the same with my ex when I had my boy. He ruined my pregnancy, being selfish all the time and complaining about me. He didn't even want to take me to hospital the day baby was born; I was in labour and he was convinced I was faking. I was already dilated at 5 by the time I arrived to hospital.
    My advice for you is to concentrate on your baby, ignore him as much as possible and try to make him understand how you feel. The most important thing here is you and the kids. Guys? You'll find them in every corner. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have to build confidence in yourself.
    Take care!
     
  16. gk1701

    gk1701 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. My husband is great but he says that I complain all the time about the pregnancy and he's going to tell the baby when she grows up that I didn't really want them. He's joking but I think he is tired of hearing me complain. The thing is I'm sick ALL THE TIME. During the rare few hours I'm not vomiting or feeling like I'm going to vomit or trying not to vomit, I'm exhausted. I also wake up at night due to chronic nausea. I think they don't realize how tough it is. You are emotionally exhausted. See a therapist who will set him straight. If anyone else heard him say such things, they would be very direct with him about how he is treating you and that it has to stop. And poor you having bad labours and depression on top of everything else. Nobody else even knows I'm pregnant so this is the only place I can come to talk about how poorly I feel. Do you have a friend or a sister you can talk to? I feel so bad that you are having a tough time. Everyone on here tells me its worth it though. I'm sending you a hug, really I am because this is just so difficult. :hugs:
     
  17. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    it's not so much the pregnancy thats getting me down sure the sickness isnt nice but im happy to be pregnant. its him thats bothering me. i dont really have anyone to talk to that wouldnt bring it up all the time.
     
  18. xcited4mybump

    xcited4mybump mum of 2 boys & 2 girls

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    oh he sounds like a right gentleman:growlmad:he's taking you for granted hun and he should be treating you like a princess,how dare he put you down and make you feel so terrible:nope:oooooo it makes me so mad when men do this to women who the hell do they think they are!!!

    you hun are very special(((hugs))) and you have a new baby and other precious children and yourself to think about:hugs:he has no right to do these things to you and you have a duty to put yourself and your children first.you need to sit him down and make him listen to what he is doing to you and how he is making you feel.DO NOT allow him to turn it on you and warn him that if he continues to hurt your feelings and cause you grief then he better go and pack his things-simple as that.sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but remember you are strong and you need to look after youself now more than ever!

    i wish you lots of luck hun and remember we are all here for you:hugs:
     
  19. Mrsctobe

    Mrsctobe Guest

    Thank you all so much for your support. We fell out last night, well he fell out with me because i told him he was wrong and i wouldnt put up with it ect and he didnt like it.
    I went to bed and had some sleep havnt seen or spoke to him today he leaves for work before i get up. if he decides to grow up i will tell him again hes upsetting me ect but if hes still in a strop he will be ignored xx
     

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