Oh man, I feel terrible......:(

[blondieliz]

So, lo is 4 weeks tomorrow and he's wanted to constantly stuck for basically all of that time. Everyone and their dog had an opinion and told me to give formula and I was doing soooo well at telling them no......until yesterday when I was having a terrible day and caved and let oh give him 3 oz of formula in the evening to settle him and then I gabe him his last feed. The same again tonight and I hate every second, I feel so guilty about it and have cried so much. Oh wants to keep doing this 4oz in an evening as it settled lo and he slept for like 4 hours.

What have I done? :,-(

 

[Lilly12]

Well since your LO is still so tiny I wouldn't supplement tbh.
Your LO needs to be on the breast whenever they want as it builds your milk supply.
Around 3 weeks and around 6 weeks they have big growth spurts.. where they suck to up your milk supply.
They more they are at the breast, the quicker your body makes more milk for their needs.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it though as this is pointless.. but I'd just tell your DH the above.

 

[summer rain]

Please don't feel terrible; this situation is still reversible. I would advise stopping giving any formula top ups (or even EBM) at least until your baby is six weeks; the patterns for milk production are really laid down up to six weeks; so if you regularly give formula at a certain time of day at this point it will be very tricky to return to BF at that time of day later on; also in some women just giving one top up a day can have a knock on effect on their production at other times. It is possible that giving formula; even occasionally can cause changes in the gut of BF babies and that some of the protective qualities of BF may be lost; though to what extent and for how long giving the formula affects things no-one really knows as in reality there have been so few studies; so don't beat yourself up over something that is an 'unknown quantity' really. There is evidence that after 2-3 weeks of exclusive BF again (some things say 4-6 weeks) the baby's gut returns to a very similar state to what it was before but if you're giving formula daily then there isn't really a chance for it to return to this state xx

 

[blondieliz]

I just wish my family were more supportive! All I get is you and your sister were ff and you are ok etc. I think there if an element of dh wanting to feed lo which is why he is all for formula.

I love my lo so much, I'm terrified that his little tummy wil be upset now

 

[summer rain]

I'm sure it won't be upset. I would try and explain to your OH how much BF means to you and the studies that talk about health benefits from BF, they mean when exclusively BF, giving top ups of formula *may* diminish these. Also that giving top ups may mean having to switch to formula which would be heartbreaking to you; and after six weeks you can express milk and he can use that to feed your LO from time to time xx

 

[midori1999]

You can't change what has already been done, only what happens now, so no point in beating yourself up about it. Very, very hard for you when you are even getting pressure from your husband about it.


https://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html

I was reading this today about criticism of breast feeding and it might be helpful to you? There is also a link about BF facts that might help? One thing I did find interesting is where it says that

"Sometimes the people close to you - particularly your parents - feel that when you make parenting choices that are different from their own, it is a personal attack on their own parenting choices. They may truly feel that accepting your parenting choices is the same thing as admitting that their own parenting choices were wrong. It may be helpful to make it clear that your choices are not a judgment on their parenting, but a result of having different information available that you are using to make choices for your own unique child and family"

which is maybe relevant to your particular situation?

You are absolutely right about this, so don't let others undermine your confidence, but I appreciate that it is very hard when there is pressure and questioning from all sides.

I am lucky in that no-one questions my choices as I'm a bolshy cow who would give them short shrift and they know that, but if people comment about my daughter feeding a lot, for a long time or feeding at night I just reply that 'babies/evolution are very clever and babies feed a lot and wake at night specifically because it gets your milk supply up and keeps it up to a level the baby needs, so it's a good thing that my baby does this'. Then I give them what my husband calls the 'wife smile' and they shut up.

 

[JASMAK]

I am not anti-formula...but if you are feeling guilty about it, and you wish you weren't...then just don't. Tell people not to suggest it anymore. Tell them you need them to support you, and that does not feel like support. You are going to have to learn to advocate for your child as a mom...it's hard, but you can do it. It won't be the last time!!

 

[roni_75]

Yes, I agree. Let you OH know it is important to you and you need this support. My OH was upset with me because I would not give up even though I was so tired, but now, he is proud of what I have done for our DD!! It is not too late. I battled back from giving my LO formula. We are back to BF now and it's fine, it did take a bit of work though.

 

[MumtoJ]

I'm also not anti FF but if your wanting to BF you need to stop the FFing. It my be your OH isn't aware of the info on BF, although my OH is supportive he is also a bit ignorant on the subject and has asked me when will I stop and move to FF - to which I replied, why would I give a Breast Milk substitute when I can give bubs the real thing .

BF is hard and it can often feel that bubs is attached 24/7 but BF isn't really about "feeding" the best advice I was given was to stop thinking of "breast feeding" and think about "nursing" which is about feeding, comforting, soothing etc.

Talk to your OH and find out what his issues are and see if you can either allay his fears or get him to also see your point of view. With your parents just have a frank discussion about how you have no issue with FF per se, but you wish to BF and their support is important to you suceeding maybe discussing how in a few more weeks you'll be able to try expressing and will need volunteers to give LO expressed milk.

Are there any BF support groups in your area? (try your sure start centre) who can offer day to day support and encouragement. xx

most of all Good Luck