oh my mother.

[BunNtheOven]

So.. my mom is insane to begin with- she's constantly in my business all the time.. for instance.. she actually didn't find out i was pregnant from me but she opened my mail and there was my OB ultrasound letter from the doc! Then she gets in my bills and stuff like that. I'm fine. STOP.

When she found out.. she didn't even call me .. noo.. she called everyone in my family.. THEN ME.

Then shes going on and going about how i should have a spare bedroom at my house for when she babysits. I didn't tell her no or yes that i needed to talk to him first about it. Then before i told her yes or no she calls me to say "i found a bed to put in that back spare room of yours." i don't go anywhere.. i plan on quitting my job anyways (he's the bread winner) and it's not like she lives desperately far away (20 minutes)

REALLY? I didn't even tell you yes and you bought a bed and telling me yours gonna put in my spare room in MY well actually fiances house?!?

I just have a feeling she's gonna be one of those grandmothers who are always up your ass and think their the mother. And i told my finance about it and he's like "I hope she realizes i have a mom too."


I feel like shes just MOVING IN. maybe this is my hormones.. but really.. i appreciate your trying to help but i dont want you here 247.

She calls me constantly wanting to know if i'm doing this and that..I have a feeling imma be at war with my mother.


anybody else with this problem or have had this problem?

 

[babybambi]

Ahh, the mother. Mine can be quite intense. It's ok OH and I have put her in her place.
1) I'm staying with you when baby is born so he know who I am...huh? No you're not. Youre the grandparent and I only have a spare room that is designated for bubba, not you. This is my baby not yours!
2) I'm coming in the delivery room with you when it happens...umm no, your not. This is our time to bond as a family together!
3) "I hope you've told OH I'm naming your first baby...hahahahaha,really? No you're not. Me and OH will be choosing OUR babies name. You've had your three kids and named them all...I the mother and OH the father will choose his name!

Tis really quite annoying having to deal with a child like parent when you're pregnant... I wouldn't mind if we were close, but we're not and mine lives quite a distance away..and that's how I like it!

 

[BunNtheOven]

its really getting on my nerves.. and if my mother told me she's naming her.. i believe i would smack her. haha. she hasn't done that yet, thank god!

My sister and me have been talking about how insane she's been getting. And i really believe she is mentally ill.. just havent pointed out the what illness yet. shes constantly talking about the same subject everytime.. and i remember my grandmother(her mother) who had dementia was doing the same exact thing. she's only 52 and she acts like shes 75!

even when i ask her something.. she like keeps talking about her subject. it's like she never even heard me.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Try and ignore her (you don't have to open the front door, do you?) or indulge her, smile nicely and walk as fast as you can in the other direction....

sorry you have to deal with this, I've told my OH that his mother can come visit in hospital after the baby is here and can visit a few weeks after I come home...my parents live in the states and I've had to ask my stepmother to persuade my father to come over when the baby is a month or so old!

best wishes

 

[ash086]

I have this problem with my MIL. Im going nuts and she insists that she should name this baby because her mother named her second child. um NO! and if she ever tried to sleep at my house I would kill. I am a very independant person and don't need anyones help. ahh know how you feel hun, just stick up for yourself.

 

[BunNtheOven]

I'm the same way. i'm very independent. haha hell i'm only close to a handful of people (like 4.) and i hope she willl get this i'm the mother type thing out of her system!

 

[lalitas charm]

Ooooh she really is overstepping the mark isn't she!! It sounds like you are going to have to be really blunt with her. It looks like your DH is wearing a military uniform in your avatar, are you on a base? you can always make it that she has to be escorted and that way can't just turn up when she feels like it!! I live on a military base with DH, I did that with my mum until a friend of mine who works in the guard service gave my mum an unescorted pass meaning well and that took that safety mechanism away lol!!

My mum wanted to be in the hospital waiting when DD was born (I was having an elective c-section) and I was like erm no, and the hospital didn't allow it anyway thankfully. This pregnancy she was asking when the 20 week scan would be and when I told her she was like, "oh well I can't go as I'm on holiday so you'll have to get the date changed!" I just said no, the hospital policy is only to allow 1 person in with you and that would be DH so there is no need to change the date. She also said that I shouldn't get this c-section a week early as she won't be able to take 2-3 weeks off work until April (and the new leave year) so I should see if they can leave it until I go over!! WTH!! I just said thank you but that she didn't need to take any time off work, DH was here to help and we would be fine. I think that she means to be helpful but still!!

Though if my MIL told me that she was going to name my LO she would hear me a mile off!! My MIL is crazy in a whole other kind of way but she lives such a long way away that she doesn't trouble us too much!! lol. Again, she is lovely and means well but daft!

 

[EveEnRoute]

My mum's lovely and all, but she has been doing my head in a bit since I got pregnant. She nags me about my blood pressure, what I'm eating, how much weight I'm gaining. She even told me off for posting a pic on facebook of a fancy hot choc I had in a pub as a treat. Erm, like, hello?! I had been for a long walk, I was cold and had been good all day, I can't bloody drink so think a rare treat is fine thank you! Grrr.
I generally get on ok with my MIL, who lives 20 mins away (my mum lives an hour and a half away), but am concerned she seems to think she'll be here to help all day every day after the baby is born. She also wants me to go back to work after my maternity leave (I'm not sure yet, depends on finances) and she'll look after the baby - an argument for nearer the time I think!

 

[BunNtheOven]

Actually he use to be in the military when he was younger but now hes just a sheriff... i snagged a picture before he walked out for work I WISH that was the case or i would be pulling the military base stunt haha. And believe it or not i love love love my (almost) MIL haha. she's so nice and calls but not so often to drive you crazy. My mother even said tonight "we're gonna have our hands full." talking about the baby. REALLY? We're? MINE.

 

[BunNtheOven]

my mom does that a little but its more like YOUR NOT doing this are you?!?!?! .. Um no. i'm not that dumb. Then it seems like whenever i lift something she chews me out. I know not to literally strain and lift things but its not straining me?!? I happen to be a very active person and my doctor told me if i was doing it before i can still do it while pregnant. I was getting a stroller today and i lifted it up no problem not heavy to me and she was like .