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OH not as excited 2nd baby

emma4g63

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we both decided to start to TTC last month and it took us 9 months with Dd1 so we really didnt expect to get pregnant first month...but we did and im over the moon but he doesnt seem to be..
we both love DD1 very much and she is now 2.5 and would love a brother/ sister..
OH says he feels guilty that she wont get all the attention off everyone now etc..
when i picked up a cute baby grown the other day he said no put it back down lets buy madison something...dd1 ..he said he felt guilty the minute i picked it up!!

i wanted this pregnancy to be just as exciting as the first and I too was worried about having another due too dd1 but i know she will always be my baby and i will them both the same.. and treat them the same too!!
but OH just does not get it!!
i mentioned it to him and he has made a little bit more effort but i feel its just put on now
:dohh:

anyone else in similar experience
 
I dont have a simular experience, but i do think its normal to feel this way, just ensure him that you will still love dd1 just as much but baby no2 also needs the same amount of love and attention as she receieved as a baby
 
i see in your ticker you are only around 6 weeks pregnant... maybe your OH still needs some time for this pregnancy to"sit in" and become real to him. and remind him you two are giving Maddison the thing she really wants - a brother/sister and that he should see this new baby as a gift to the DD1 instead of a distraction!
 
I'm in a similar situation in that my OH and I got pregnant right away this time, which we did not expect. TBH, neither of us is as excited this time around which I think is normal. Your first pregnancy is your first, and you can never have that again. I think what your OH is feeling is very normal, and he will come around eventually. He'll see that he can love both and give both all of the attention they need. And they'll have each other to love as well. I'm already much more excited about the new baby than I was 2 weeks ago when I found out. Just try to give him some time.
 
I'm not pregnant with our second yet but I have shared some of the same concerns as your OH. I am worried about my son having to share my time and attention, I get really excited about the thought of having another child but nervous at the same time if that makes sense? I don't think its just a man thing
 
My oh is never really excited about pregnancy! It's not until he gives that squishy new baby a cuddle that it sinks in for him.

With our second we both missed DD1 terribly whilst I was in labour and just wanted to get home to her, it was strange, I loved my new baby but wanted us all to be together. The guilt left the second DD1 met her sister, it was love at first sight and all of my worries faded. Having a sister is the best thing that has ever happened to my eldest and now I've told her we're having another she is over the moon.

Those worries are normal and I felt them myself, everyone is different. Don't worry about your oh, he'll realise you can love however many children you have equally xx
 
That's the most challenging part of having a 2nd baby. You should always make your 1st child feel that she is still important and still love her even a new member of the family is coming. That's natural for them to feel that way and parents should assure to them that they will be loved equally.
 
I've had some of the same concerns as your oh. I don't feel as excited this time round as I worry about DD. She is so excited about being a big sister but I'm so worried about her feeling pushed out when the time comes. Don't get me wrong I am very happy I'm pregnant and it was planned I just feel some kind of guilt towards DD.
 

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