OH problem,what do you think?? xx

[rainbow_11]

Hey ladies
Just have a question for you?! During your pregnancy, has your OH been a pain in the ass? Mine has...
First off,he does what he wants whenever he wants without even asking me about it.Like tonight he's gone out drinking with his brother and friends. Not as bad as I know where he is but still. What would he do if tonight was the night that I went into labor? I can't have a drunk person drive me 1h and half to get to the hospital,instead of having a few pints and be on call just incase,he goes and gets drunk. Hand of applause,he just doesn't think sometimes. Then yesterday,I found out that he was leaving next weekend to go to the bush with his friends. I'll be hitting 36 weeks,no way to contact him as there's no signal up there.As always,never asked if it was ok or if i'm ok with him leaving..Found out by his friend.Secondly, he just doesn't seems interested in the pregnancy wich is kinda sad really..I always need to take his hand and put it on my belly so he can feel her move,or tell him to watch my belly when it's moving.Mind you whenever I have my doctor's appointment he always call me afterwards to see how it went but still.Third of all,it's like i'm just not as important to him as I should be.I've only been asking him for a good 3 months to bring me watch a movie at the theater and there's just no way.He's so afraid to miss out his weekends with his little friends,partying that he doesn't think about how I feel or what I'd like to do for a change. It's his way or the highway really...I don't know if maybe he's acting like that because he know's it's coming fast...?? But he should be with me not out partying and getting wasted.So tonight i'm spending the night alone..he doesn't care he's having his little fun..pathetic really.! Maybe i'm just overreacting..!! Anybody have any ideas?xx Thanks in advance girls.!

 

[vaniilla]

you're not overacting at all! if anything under acting, I would be fuming at oh if he tried to pull anything like that on me, I think you need to talk to him and find out where he is coming from and see what the real reason behind his actions are, it could be a lot of things, and if it turns out that he's being like that for no reason then he needs a serious rethink about what a relationship means and respecting your partner, confrontation is never nice but its worse to let things continue and keep it all inside

 

[Saywhat]

Awww, have a chat with him hun. Mine is attentive but still goes off to the pub as he says he wants to enjoy it while he still has the chance lol.. I can see why. Its never real to men untill they have baby in their arms. Another thing my OH tells me. And you know life shouldn't stop, its just about finding the balance between the two of you as its easy for us mums to be to feel left out the bigger we get.

Definitely demand (in a nice way) couple time, massage, cinema, shopping trips. Or just a nice meal and some fruit cocktails. I always find by just plain talking (non emotional if poss) he will come round. Ok maybe offer something nice in return as way of a bribe lol...

Hope you get through to him hun xxx

 

[Jozie]

first baby? my partner just like this.... sometimes he doesnt things and im like wow next its thoughtless shit! i so know what your going through but i would have an out talk with him and get a stomp on it. remind him hes a daddy... baby born or not. the way i got my partner was telling him that my friends who were guys where doing stuff for me.. and he was like what im the daddy! im doing it... now hes all over it. i think sometimes you need to remind him that he has a strong role.. they think that its your baby and all about you and baby and sometimes feel left out and not needed. u show him how much u need him!!!!!

 

[rainbow_11]

Yes,it's our first.He just acts like a little kid. He's 34 yrs old, you'd think that he would have other priorities instead of going out getting drunk! Like seriously...He accualy doesn't care tonight that i'm by myself. he'll show up around 12-1am...makes me very sad..

 

[Saywhat]

He's a man, ultimately they never really grow up. But i really like Josies post about getting him to take responsibility. A little female manipulation works a treat Does he love you is the main question? and visa versa, if its yes he will stay and it may just be the making of him and you as a couple. If not lay your cards on the table. Life is too short. I don't think he sounds too bad though just a little immature for his age maybe.

You could go down the don't come back here if your drunk line but that never works and its a slippery slope. Give him a bit of freedom and he will come running i say. xxx

 

[rainbow_11]

He's a man, ultimately they never really grow up. But i really like Josies post about getting him to take responsibility. A little female manipulation works a treat Does he love you is the main question? and visa versa, if its yes he will stay and it may just be the making of him and you as a couple. If not lay your cards on the table. Life is too short. I don't think he sounds too bad though just a little immature for his age maybe.

You could go down the don't come back here if your drunk line but that never works and its a slippery slope. Give him a bit of freedom and he will come running i say. xxx[

men are men lol..But as far as me treating him,thats a no no..He never wants to have sex,never.I can initiate him,do whatever,doesn't work.I think the whole pregnancy is a turn off for him.He was accualy looking at my tummy the other and said *Oh,you've got 6 stretch marks* You better put cream on it..Like seriously..He tells me he loves me, we have been engage for 1 yr now..I'm like madly in love with him but the things he does or say sometimes,makes me wanna smack him...

 

[Saywhat]

Hmmm its a tricky one... Was he affectionate before pregnancy? Good sex life etc? Maybe he is just one of those that is really scared to touch/know how to act around a pregnant woman. He might be scared to hurt the baby etc.. the usual intimacy problems. I can see why it is driving you crazy if he is starving you of affection.

Dammit men are a pain. Have a hug
Don't let him stress you out, and try to get to the root of the problem without going nuts. Or at least get him to open up to you (when he's drunk???! ) xxx

 

[rainbow_11]

Hmmm its a tricky one... Was he affectionate before pregnancy? Good sex life etc? Maybe he is just one of those that is really scared to touch/know how to act around a pregnant woman. He might be scared to hurt the baby etc.. the usual intimacy problems. I can see why it is driving you crazy if he is starving you of affection.

Dammit men are a pain. Have a hug
Don't let him stress you out, and try to get to the root of the problem without going nuts. Or at least get him to open up to you (when he's drunk???! ) xxx

Umm,yes he was,very affectionate ,Great sex life..But he was also a party animal like he is right now.Only one thing I was right beside him.Now I don't feel like going out sitting on a chair looking at people drinking and smoking stuff around me..I Just don't.I don't mind when he goes out once in awhile..but it's every weekend...

 

[Saywhat]

Ahhh yes, we were the same partied/travelled together. Its totally natural and not unreasonable to ask him to calm down a bit... I would let him have his odd night out in pub but ask him to delay the outdoor trip as you are worried about the lack of communication.

Tell him you can't wait for the role reversal. When he is babysitting your out enjoying your night out with the girls. Why don't you just do that now, organise your freedom to have something to look forward to? x

 

[rainbow_11]

Ahhh yes, we were the same partied/travelled together. Its totally natural and not unreasonable to ask him to calm down a bit... I would let him have his odd night out in pub but ask him to delay the outdoor trip as you are worried about the lack of communication.

Tell him you can't wait for the role reversal. When he is babysitting your out enjoying your night out with the girls. Why don't you just do that now, organise your freedom to have something to look forward to? x[/QUOTE

Your right, I should..I do go out with friends but make sure im home to make supper for him as he works long hours all day.I should go out more often xx

 

[ItsMagic]

My OH has been kind of a pain in the ass, but not that that extent. I'd be PO'd too if I were you. I'd definitely be yelling or something about it, so I think you're under reacting. I can relate to the whole not touching the belly thing. My OH never touches mine, I have to put his hand on my belly when he's moving around, and he seems interested but mildly. Also, when he's moving around I can sit there for hours and watch, but OH I have to keep saying "Look, do you see that?" His reason for not wanting to feel the baby is that he's afraid he's going to hurt him because I push in to feel around, and he thinks that's going to hurt the baby. I'm always like, you don't need to push to feel him moving! But yeah, for his age that is very irresponsible for him to be doing. I'd definitely have a talk with him and tell him how you feel and your worries. That's just wrong of him to leave you alone like that.

 

[rainbow_11]

Thx Ladies!!xx