OH seems to have gone off me

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by kazb25, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    my OH will not have sex with me, nor will he please me sexually in other ways, even thou i have explained to him that i feel like i am missing out on affection and closeness and that i am supper horny these days his response was that it was not on the top of his list of priorities at the moment. I feel rejected and unhappy because he seems distant or is it just me and my hormones??? im confused.

    I said to him the other night thou that i just want him to love me the way he used to and he said that he does love me but just doesnt show it anymore so he more or less addmitted that he is ignoring me and my needs. He sayd i should respect that he doesnt want sex wiv me but i just feel so alone. I have tried to talk to him but this just ends up in an argument and then he says i am making him feel guilty which then in turn makes me feel bad so either way i am gonna feel bad.

    sorry to go on but i just need to get this out because its hurting me at the moment, i dont know how to handle this !!!! :growlmad:
     
  2. Jess812

    Jess812 Jacob & Connor <3

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    Im going through something the same too :( we havent has sex in like 2 months! He knows im horny as of ways i act in bed etc which usually lead to sex but nope nothing :nope:

    I dont know with these men they seem to go through a stage also where they dont want sex!! :shrug:
     
  3. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    yeah but best of it is, he will let me please him he is ok with that of course he is, it makes u paraniod thou doesnt it, like have they gone off u, are u not attractive anymore?, are they getting it some place else? , ok i know that last one is extreme but come on !!!! they are useless men :growlmad:
     
  4. pandabub

    pandabub Well-Known Member

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    This seems to be quite a common thing during pregnancy hun, and there are various different reasons that I've heard of: it could be stress related (is he excited/concerned/anxious about the LO?), it could be because he is quietly afraid of hurting LO during sex, or it could be because he perceives sex as somehow perverted now that you're pregnant, simply because your LO is in there. I think that there is also a scientific explanation for a decreasing libido in men during pregnancy...although I'm not sure of the specifics!

    I'm really sorry you're hurting honey; perhaps you could gently enquire as to whether any of the above provide an explanation for his lack of desire and see where it goes from there? xx
     
  5. Jess812

    Jess812 Jacob & Connor <3

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    Yeah i know what you mean! Last time we DTD i literally had to force myself on him, but once i was giving him oral he was fine, an nearly that was all that happened as if he didnt expect that i wanted something in return or even to have sex!!!! i was like errr well of course i want sex, why wouldnt i?? (sorry for tmi)
    But they think its fine for us to satisfy them, but when its the other way ohhh no! It does get me upset an has lead me to satisfying myself! (tmi again sorry) but what else can we do :shrug:

    Hehe i know hes not getting it somewhere else, no time to haha an he is in army so is home for dinner etc as we live on the pads :) so thats one thing my mind is at ease with!
     
  6. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    well to be honest he has said he is concerned about me so i think that is why and he has said a few months ago that its not natural to have sex wiv pregnant women, ive tried to reassure him that i would be safe and so would baby but u see i have a bad back which i have had for many many years, its not causing me any problems at the moment but he keeps usuing that as the reason to not have sex wiv me incase i hurt my back even thou it has never bothered him b 4 , he said that for the las few months before i got pregnant i just wanted him for sex to make a baby and now that its done whats the point, i denied that this was true and that even when i couldnt fall preg (not ovulating) we still had plenty sex. We used to have a really good sex life and i have always enjoyed sex wiv him not once have i ever not and we been 2 gether for 11 years so id say thats pretty good going. (arr another rant)

    I really need to invest in a dildo lol jk
     
  7. KateyCakes

    KateyCakes Mum to two!

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    My OH won't go anywhere near me incase he hurts baby. He won't even hug me properly because he thinks he'll squash her. As for sex, if we ever do manage to dtd, he'll make sure bubs isn't kicking first, he said he's turned off by the thought of her being awake at the time.
     
  8. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    at last u get some i have not had any at all since early november last year

    cobwebs !!!!
     
  9. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    yeah i have resorted to please myself and like u say what else is a girl meant to do, ??? sigh, still wish it was him doing it instead thou
     
  10. Lauraaraa

    Lauraaraa Love My Baby Girl

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    my bf doesnt want sex anymore as said it is weird now i am big.

    thing is he doesnt even want to kiss me properly, like passionate kind of kiss, just doesnt seem interested.

    i feel a bit rejected at times.

    plus with him going to afghan in march for 6mnths it is going to be a while before we actually do have sex properly again, makes me sad and i feel lonely at times.

    then i think oh well sod it i got my lil girl to look forward to and she means mre to me than sex.

    think that now i am pretty big! and she does kick alot some days and he felt her so think he finds it weird.

    plus i dont feel attractive anymore, dont feel like me and i worry when we have sex so in a way i feel relieved he doesnt want it but i still miss it, i confuse myself!
     
  11. caydensmom

    caydensmom Well-Known Member

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    I am going through the exact same thing!! I feel so rejected and alone. I have been telling him now for a month to have sex with me but it seems he doesn't want too. I don't understand why. It's like he is turned off by me or something (that's how I feel) we have an awesome sex life, sex was never a problem. Even when I was pregnant with my DS we still had sex often. Now I am pregnant with this one and it's like he has turned into a fricken virgin or something and me being super horny isn't helping. I always ask him if he is getting it from somewhere else, or if he finds me unattractive or something...I'm just not used to the idea of a man ever NOT wanting sex lol.
     
  12. KateyCakes

    KateyCakes Mum to two!

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    We only had it the other night because I literally jumped on him. He was also feeling super guilty because the night before I cried my eyes out saying he must love someone else + if he didn't love me then he shouldn't stay just for the sake of baby. It wasn't that enjoyable though. I hope you get some soon! Does he not get turned on if you 'do it yourself'? (TMI!)
     
  13. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    nope he really isnt interested at all in me sexually, ******* lol grrr
     
  14. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    me neither, how can a man go off sex, its like not even natural???? i never knew this would happen its all new to me but seems common as others experiencing the same thing, and when we have baby and he wasnts sex again and we dont he will be complaining and he will have to be the one to go without lol its true thou
     
  15. spring_baby

    spring_baby <a href="http://pregnancy

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    Some men just seem to go off sex whilst we are carrying their child, with my first three children their father was not interested in touching kissing holding hands incase I took that to mean that he was interested in me:(

    This time round bubs father and I still have sex bit its not the same I keep mentioning foreplay but he says my bump is too low etc?? why would that make a difference, just bcos we spoon doesnt mean I dont want to just do the deed, its okay if I pleasure him first but he wont reciprocate at all sexually, dont get me wrong he kisses me every day holds my hand when we are out etc and tells me he loves me, but I would love it to be like it was before I had a bump..
    Before the bump took shape he was fine But I just take solace at least his not like my ex husband and refuses to show any emotion incase i get the wrong idea:/

    I think its just one of those pregnant things and I take heart in the fact we are still having sex just would like to be making love, as in more intamicy, only another 13 weeks to go and 6 to recover though am sure I wont feel like it whilst my body recovers, hey ho xx
     
  16. caydensmom

    caydensmom Well-Known Member

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    I just don't understand it....I thought this would be the time that they would want to have sex a lot because atleast we can't get pregnant WHILE we are pregnant. I just keep thinking how much fun we had in the old days having sex. It's like sex is taking over my MIND now that I'm not getting it. When my girlfriends get together and start talking about "it" I get so jealous and think "My God why can't I get any?" It doesn't help also that I am now having vivid dreams of sex either.
     
  17. KateyCakes

    KateyCakes Mum to two!

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    What a....erm... horrible man! I think us pregnant ladies need to be told we're loved etc. considering we're going through all the discomfort + pain + they just get the pleasure.
    They're all willing to dtd at the beginning aren't they!
    Why don't you "by accident" leave the ann summers website open on some dildos? :haha:
     
  18. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    omg i think me and u are going throu the exact same feelings, i too thought they would want it more because like u say u can get pregnant again, i also thought that they would be all over us because they in my mind, should be gratefull of what we have been, are going and will go through for them to give them a precious gift. I thought he would of been more loving more supportive but nope, the opposite. He is more moody, distant, stressed, cold, less empathic when i cry(hormones), its like he doesnt want to at least try and understand what and how much i am going throu, i keep thinking yeah a change for both of us but really what does he have to change, he will still be going to work at his same job like he has always done, i on the other hand, have to quite my job, maybe college although i hope not, my social life, i have to stay at home and look after the baby 24/7 because i know when baby comes he will be either working or complaining that he has to get some sleep because he is working, he seems to want to distance himself and is setting up the distance already for when abay is here by keep mentioning changing his shift to nights permenantly, but i am not happy wiv that at all and there will be much arguing of he does that, in fact right now the angry i feel towards him makes me wanna leave him. lol its that bad grrr
     
  19. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    lol that would be funny, i think i am just gonna buy one and show him and say, look at this, bigger than yours dont need u now, bye !!!! lmao:haha:
     
  20. caydensmom

    caydensmom Well-Known Member

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    It's bad here too. I keep feeling unloved. I told him that and he doesn't seem to want to change his stupid actions. Somedays I want to leave him...I get so very angry with him I swear.
     

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