OH walked out and left... :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by elishaty, Oct 4, 2008.

  1. elishaty

    elishaty mummy x2 & preg twin boys

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    not sure why im writing this but my friends and family are so use to him walkin out and coming back the same day that i dont think it worries them like it does to me. doesnt help im all hormonal either.

    well yesterday morning around 11am i came home with my two littlens from visiting my dad (he lives close) when i got in i went to the kitchen and came and sat on the pc chair unaware of anything! next minute i know the kids are playing and OH has a bag packed quite full... he stood by the door and just said "i'll still see the kids" and walked out. i thought he would come home the same night, we never argued or anything and i thought he just needed some time to think but when i texted him today because he didnt come home last night he said "we both hate eachother so dont talk to him" why he thinks that i havent a clue! my first child was with my first love (rather i thought it was love i was young n silly) when i told him i was pregnant he got the next flight to sweden... literally! hes an international speedway rider and very full of himself! well i met OH when i was 5months preg with my 1st so he braught up my son from day one and is classed as my sons dad. we then had a daughter now 16months old and im expecting identical twin boys due january. everything has been fine i thought he was happy hes having son's bla bla and we didnt argue or anything he just walked out... so im more shocked than anything but im so scared he wont come back and il be left with 4 kids all under 4years old my son is epileptic so can b hard work when he gets wound up. it seems everything is happening and i just want it to stop im affriad i wont be able to look after the kids properly on my own im only 20years old and never thought he would leave we were due to get married next year but it seems its off :(

    sorry long msg x
     
  2. mummymadness

    mummymadness Mummy to 4

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    Ohhh Hun iam so sorry ...
    I carnt understand why he has gone , I just hope you find strength to carry on .
    If he doesnt return remember your a great Mum and will find the power to muddle through and enjoy all your babies .
    Good luck sweety . xx .
     
  3. codex

    codex Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry to hear that he has walked out on you. I really do not know your full situation but it seems to me that he is really unstable and unsure of your relationship and himself. Good luck!
     
  4. lauriech

    lauriech Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear your situation. I don't know what to say but just wanted to say if you want to chat I'm here. :hugs:

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

    You must be so excited to be having twins...are they identical?
     
  5. helen1234

    helen1234 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs:
    i hope you can sort it out hun,
    if you cant you'll find the strentgh to get through this,
    my daughter suffers from epilepsy too and it is tough.
    xxx
     
  6. elishaty

    elishaty mummy x2 & preg twin boys

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    yes they are identical...

    thank u everyone i just hope he comes home i never imagined this would happen he's supposed to be the one i marry and grow old with but it feels like its been ripped away in a second. i wish i could turn the days back maybe i could make him feel extra special and he wouldnt go i dunno... so much is going round my mind atm
     
  7. Deeper Blue

    Deeper Blue Well-Known Member

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    Wow, this is a tough situation and I think what worries me most about your story is the fact that he walks out so often your friends and family don't even bother about it any more. Doesn't really seem to be the stable and secure environment that you and the babies need :( I think you and your OH need to get together and talk about why it keeps happening because obviously something is going off in his head that he's not talking about since his going seemed so out of the blue. Perhaps you can think about going to some councilling together if you can smooth things over this time, since he does seem commited to the children at least, you could do it for their sakes and it could help break what seems to be a horrible cycle for you. I'm so sorry your having to go through this at what should be such a happy contented time. xxx These guys may be able to help: http://www.relate.org.uk/
    :hug:
     
  8. FierceAngel

    FierceAngel Guest

    i cant offer any advice but wanted to offer my support and thoughts

    :hug::hug::hug:
     
  9. nightkd

    nightkd Mum to two!

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    Oh My Gosh! That's terrible! :hug: I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure you'll be able to cope fine, it's his loss if he's going to walk out like that. Seems very surreal to me, does he do it often, or is it usually after a row?
     
  10. Angeldust

    Angeldust Guest

    So Sorry to hear this hun hope everything works out for you,
    You really cant have him walking in and out of your life when he feels like it as its not normal and you need to tell him this but you cant keep quite and say nothing to him and let him come and go when he pleases because you might be scared of him leaving again if you have this talk with him, Because this just is not right,

    I cant even belive that you allow him to come and go this often when he wants to and with out no explanation like you said you dont even know the reason why he has left,

    Where is the love here ??
    Are you in love with him ? you can still love a person but being in love with a person is a different thing altogether i think you both need to sit down and ask him is he in love with you and if you feel the same about him then let him no so he does not feel insercure

    I dont want to hurt your feelings and i am gonna say this being a good friend
    but how long does he leave for ?? Is there any way you can find out where he is staying when he does leave as it feels so very strange that he does this all the time
    sorry to say this but if he leaves so many times with out saying anything and it sounds like he uses the we both hate each other thing as a excuse to get away I would be checking up on him ,

    I onec heard a story like this not so long ago and she was having twin boys just like you how mad is that its like living the story all over again well her partner use to do the same and i think her partner just felt missed out and was not getting enough attention
    you know thesa men are like school boys and still need that cuddle and reasurrence now and again

    Hope he comes home soon and you sort this out hun before the boys are born
     
  11. porkpie1981

    porkpie1981 Well-Known Member

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  12. Michelle100

    Michelle100 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry that youre having to go through this right now.I cant imagine how stressful it must be. But try not to blame yourself, no matter what you do, sometimes it just doesnt seem enough to some people. Its more important to look after yourself and your kids right now.I wish I had some uplifting advice for you. I hope everything turns out for the best.
     
  13. Kris0309

    Kris0309 Well-Known Member

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    Hey. I am sorta in your situation. Im also well i just turned 20 Im about 16 weeks pregnant and my bf/fob left me abotu a month ago. And I know if we got back together he would continue to do the same things. cause he blames me for doing stuff i never even did before. When he first left me which was kinda out of the blue like ur story he said he wanted nothing to do with me and he wouldnt help me but would be here for the baby. and so that continued until i had to go to the ER cause i got a uti . then he got worried and came back tho still not together, for a good 2 weeks he was back and then he left again and now he is tryign to do the same thing. It is really unhealthy for you and the babies for him to do that with leavign cause it will put a lot of stress on you. So as hard as it is you need to relax and think abotu your little babies and know you are strong enough to raise your babies without anyotne if you had too. good luck and take care of yourself cause no guy is worth stressing about. Right now you, your twin babies , and your kids are the most important things in ur life.
     
  14. pennysbored

    pennysbored Well-Known Member

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    :hugs::hugs:
    I hope you get some answers soon.
     
  15. Novbaby08

    Novbaby08 Mom to Harley & Piper

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    man if I were you I would be pissed
     
  16. Amanda

    Amanda Mum of 3

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  17. o0oCharlieo0o

    o0oCharlieo0o Well-Known Member

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    i really dont know what to say about the situation, hopefully he comes home soon and you can talk about it! hugs hun xxx
     
  18. Carlyanne15

    Carlyanne15 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear that, hope its all sorts out
     
  19. elm

    elm Mama

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    :hugs: hope you get it sorted x
     
  20. izzy29

    izzy29 Well-Known Member

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    I hope it works out the way you want!
     

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