OH's cousin is so rude!!

[mel28nicole]

Everyone but like two people thought we would have a boy. I think they only wanted us to have a boy because I'm not so girly and I would handle a boy better.

Well it's a girl!

Anyway, I sent everyone texts about it before I made the big Facebook announcement. OH's cousin sent me 3 texts: "are you effing kidding me?" "are they sure it's a girl?" "seriously, are they sure?" YES! It's a girl. Now, don't get me wrong, the cord was in the way, but it was definitely a girl.

She then went on to say "Bristol Paisley Neely (OH's mom's last name, not even his)." I told her we decided on Ashlin Noel. She goes "oh well I'm still calling her Bristol" WHY?!?! This is my child, not your's. She has a name!

I'm having another ultrasound April 7th to check out her heart because it was irregular the last appointment. She texts me again and goes "make sure they check to make sure it's a girl!" YES WE KNOW. Then she went on to call her Bristol again! I mean come on, that's so rude!

Anyone else have a situation like this? How did you handle it? I am trying the ignoring method but MIL is also very annoyed and wants to tell her off, but I don't want to be mean.

 

[greenpear]

First of all

This is so uncalled for. Next time your cousin is pregnant ask "are you sure isn't not a kitten in there?"

As for nicknames - I'm in same situation. We decided to name our current LO Emily and my mom hated that name for whatever reason and said she'll think of a different name for her. Well she came up with a really dumb nickname that has nothing to do with even a real name and it sounds awful and I hate it. Get this - she got everyone else in my family calling my daughter that and it really grates on me, especially now that LO is big enough to know how she's named and to respond to her real name. I really feel for you. You just can't do anything about insensitive people at times. I have a nickname for my brother (short version of his actual name so nothing unusual), and he doesn't mind it but my mom hates it and says that it's a "dog's name". So I told her I'll stop calling bro that when she stops calling my daughter whatever she came up with.

Sorry again to hear this, I can relate….and we are suspecting that we might be having a boy and my mom said "don't celebrate yet, relax it will be another girl" WTF? who cares who it will be? but why always do this?

 

[mel28nicole]

I'm glad someone understands! I don't know if it's because I don't like the name Bristol but like come on, stop! And even with Ashlin, you can call her Ash lol. OH's family is known to call each other by their middle name a lot, which is fine if they do that with our little one. But she is totally calling her something different, and I just wish she would respect me and call her by her real name. I think I would rather her tell me she doesn't like the name Ashlin than to call my daughter something else.

And she went on to text my MIL saying "wow I can't believe I was wrong!" Well guess what honey, everyone else was wrong too! Literally only two of my friends said girl, and of course my niece said girl lol. My intuition said girl, so I wasn't surprised when the tech said girl.

 

[kmac87]

I went through something similar with the name thing with my 1st ds. He is Charles the 3rd and therefore everyone wanted to call him Trey, which they did even after he was born. I finally got sick of hearing it because I had chosen to make him the 3rd for a reason and that should be respected. They weren't doing it to be rude, they just didn't see it as a problem until I brought it up. They immediately stopped. I mean I didn't want my kid to grow up with 2 different 1st names and be confused so I wanted it stopped.

 

[wookie130]

Ugh, how superbly annoying!!!!!

I'd just tell her, that YES, apparently the ultrasound tech can accurately identify a fetal vagina when she/he sees one, and NO, she will not be calling her ANYTHING, unless it's Ashlin, which is her NAME. Let's call the GIRL baby by her NAME, for the love of God.

My MIL tried renaming our son, also. We are naming him Oscar Dennis, as Oscar is my great grandfather's name, and Dennis is my father's first name. My dad is the last living relative on his side, so this is important to us. Anyway, while my DH was dropping my daughter off to MIL (as she's our childcare while we're working), she said, "How about Oscar ____?" Or "Oscar Stinehart"? Stinehart is my maiden name. So, let me get this straight. You want me to use my former last name as my kid's middle name, because you have some issue with "Dennis"??? How about, FUCK OFF???? Does that work for you?????

 

[mel28nicole]

Oh my!!!! I can't believe people really think they have THAT much input on a child's name. You're the parents, you get to name the child, and not one family member should put in their two cents. I didn't like what my friend named her daughter but hey, that's not my right. If I had a son I REALLY wanted to name him after OH but he didn't want to. A lot of guys in his family are named after their fathers and they never really called them anything different. I've only met one person who didn't go by his first name (Went by JJay instead, took me YEARS to realize that wasn't his real name lol!)

Plus what really gets me going is that I NEVER asked anyone to help me with a name. It was always me and OH going over names together, and everyone else always made suggestions without us asking. We originally wanted Alexandria and hell broke loose. "Ew that's an ugly name" "That name is too long" "That name is too old." Who cares? I think it's a beautiful name and somehow I got talked out of it and it makes me sad. Then we had Scarlet I don't know what happened about that one but OH came up with Ashlin as we walked out. Everyone liked it except his cousin! Like go away lol.

 

[krystinab]

Yea that sucks....I would just start calling your cuz in law a different name. See how she like that, my guess is it would annoy the hell outta her. But please believe she will get the point!

 

[mel28nicole]

hahahhahah!! That may work! So far she's just done it texting. The second she does it in person I will probably flip out.

 

[wookie130]

Yeah, just start calling her "Beavis." LOL!!!!

 

[mel28nicole]

She sure is acting like a Beavis! lol! Seriously tho I'm glad you guys went through this, everytime I vent I feel like a bitch lol!

 

[Naaxi]

My husband has older children who are huge jerks 99% of the time... anyways, when I brought home my son, his son who was 18 at the time asked his name. I told him it was Rowan and he says "Nah. I'll call him Lamarr." Or a similar ghetto inspired name. I was SO mad. But luckily he was made to feel foolish when he'd refer to him as that a few times and no one would acknowledge him. But I get the frustration. I'd just act dumb. "Who is Bristol?" Etc.

 

[mel28nicole]

I like the playing dumb card! So far ignoring it hasn't worked but I think saying stuff like "who is this Bristol you keep referring to?!?" I think that'll work lol!

 

[MissyBee]

That's so rude of her! This is your child, and she needs to call her by the name you give her.

My grandma was really rude about the name we chose, saying that her first name is "just awful" and she then went on to say how upset she is that we are using MILs middle name for baby's middle name because she dislikes my MIL without ever having met her. She acts personally offended that we aren't using my mothers first or middle name (my mom passed away when I was young) and went on to try to make me feel guilty, as if I didn't love my mother enough just because her name doesn't sound right with the first name we have chosen. It was so upsetting. I actually called her afterward because I didn't want to make a scene just to tell her how much she had hurt my feelings, and she had the nerve to say I was hurting her feelings for calling her and discussing it with my husband in the car with me. Um, excuse me, he's my husband! If she doesn't want him to hear something she shouldn't be saying it to me either!

 

[mel28nicole]

My MIL kept saying how she didn't like the names we picked out. So OH was like "ok how about you make a list of names you like and we'll choose from that!" I thought It was hilarious but apparently it upset her! And I was like "now you know how we feel when you tell us you don't like a name!"

We wanted to stay away from using a family name. The only name I would have used was my fathers name in some way but it's not a boy anyway. I don't think anyone would have made a big deal but you never know!!

 

[wookie130]

Gosh, people need to get a grip.

I don't know what gives them the right to butt in, and provide "feedback" on every aspect of our parental choices. Naming your child is such a personal decision, and it's SOLELY up to the parents. No one else should ever feel that they have say in what a child is being named, nor does it give people the right to be rude and critical of parents' choices. Ugh, it's really one of my peeviest peeves.

 

[Krissykat1006]

If you've ever seen "Friday" then start calling the cousin "Felicia"

Bye Felicia!!! (as in you don't matter, and neither do your opinions)

 

[mel28nicole]

hahahahaha Felicia!!! That's such a great idea. Totally forgot about that movie.

 

[kel21]

With my ds before we knew what we were having we would tell family the names we were thinking of and everyone had an opinion. So we learned pretty quick to not say anything. We told everyone we were having a boy but told no one the name until he was born. Once he was born nobody could say anything because it was a done deal! We will do the same with this one.

 

[mel28nicole]

We were going to do that as well. Especially since coming out of the ultrasound we had no idea what we would call our little girl since we had 5 different names. Ashlin came out of no where, and somehow MIL approved. Regardless if she approved or not I fell in love with it. I'm not sure why people always want their opinion out there. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all!!

I remember one girl on facebook said she was having a hard time with boy names and wanted suggestions. She didn't want anything common. People gave her great suggestions! But she was so rude about it! There was only two she said she liked, Anthony and Jacob...which are two common names? After seeing that comment I didn't bother suggesting any names lol.

 

[wannanewbaby]

My dfs family has acted same we decided to name our son Ryder and his mom said that name is dumb and he will be made fun of. It really hurt my feelings and she kept saying it was shitty of me not to name him after my Df we'll I didn't want to do that and neither did Df and he kept telling her that he didn't want him named after him and it's like talking to a brick wall I finally said if you don't like his name you don't have to talk to him.