MummyMummy
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i really don't know how to word/ask my question so please do bare with me...
my partner isn't my 3year olds daddy as you know, but does everything his real dad should do (including being there on first day of nursery school! don't even get me started about that!!!). 3year old knows he has two daddys and infact told his real daddy this when he seen him a week or so ago, this according to real dad isn't a problem. don't want to cut my ex out of childs life(nor does new partner), that isn't my place. don't want to replace 'real' daddy with 'new', just want 3year old to have a chance to bond with both and share his life with both, kwim? tbh im very thankful for 'new' daddy as he is alot more help and support than 'real' daddy.
3year old sometimes calls new partner daddy (aswell as daddy *insert what ever animal hes liking atm here* ie. daddy pig/daddy cat... no we haven't a clue either appart from peppa pig says 'daddy *insert animal*' and he likes peppa pig?)and sometimes by his name, which again is fine as HE decided that, not us. kwim? we've never forced it upon him and never would, all we've tried to do is explain that he has 2daddys to look after him and love him and two daddys he can go to if there's something he needs to tell, not that 'new' daddy IS daddy.kwim? and would never say anything bad about his real daddy. partner doesn't mind either way and ex doesn't have a problem with it he 'gets' that my new partner has a say/imput etc and is an influence in 3year olds life, so long as 'my' son is happy then whatever he decides is right for all of us. so as you can probally tell 3year old seems ok with things, as does ex and current partner. so we are allhappy with names/rolls atm.
now my problem.
new baby will hear 3year old saying partners name aswell as daddy to my new partner/new babys daddy and i'm worried it will confuse the NEW baby. does that make sense? any tips/advice?
anybody any experience with children not to same partner? was the above a problem? did it cause confusion for new baby (and older child for that matter)? should we agree on one name and stick to it that both babys use? i'm worrying myself silly thinking that the babys will be very confused. god i'm confused. i don't want to make it seem like new baby sees his daddy all the time but that 3year old doesn't and that makes him different kwim? 3year old has noticed latly that his daddy hasn't been around much (not down to us, i've phoned/seen ex several times about 3year old but nothing ever comes of it! same old story)
when we told 3year we were having a baby we said new partner is our new babys daddy and he was like 'noooo mummy that's *insert name*' but of course several months have passed since then and we have been living together for several months on our own too and 3year old seems to 'get' now that we are a family like peppa pig again, he's told us several times about peppa and george and new baby. peppa pig has alot to answer for i tell you!! lol!
xXx
my partner isn't my 3year olds daddy as you know, but does everything his real dad should do (including being there on first day of nursery school! don't even get me started about that!!!). 3year old knows he has two daddys and infact told his real daddy this when he seen him a week or so ago, this according to real dad isn't a problem. don't want to cut my ex out of childs life(nor does new partner), that isn't my place. don't want to replace 'real' daddy with 'new', just want 3year old to have a chance to bond with both and share his life with both, kwim? tbh im very thankful for 'new' daddy as he is alot more help and support than 'real' daddy.
3year old sometimes calls new partner daddy (aswell as daddy *insert what ever animal hes liking atm here* ie. daddy pig/daddy cat... no we haven't a clue either appart from peppa pig says 'daddy *insert animal*' and he likes peppa pig?)and sometimes by his name, which again is fine as HE decided that, not us. kwim? we've never forced it upon him and never would, all we've tried to do is explain that he has 2daddys to look after him and love him and two daddys he can go to if there's something he needs to tell, not that 'new' daddy IS daddy.kwim? and would never say anything bad about his real daddy. partner doesn't mind either way and ex doesn't have a problem with it he 'gets' that my new partner has a say/imput etc and is an influence in 3year olds life, so long as 'my' son is happy then whatever he decides is right for all of us. so as you can probally tell 3year old seems ok with things, as does ex and current partner. so we are allhappy with names/rolls atm.
now my problem.
new baby will hear 3year old saying partners name aswell as daddy to my new partner/new babys daddy and i'm worried it will confuse the NEW baby. does that make sense? any tips/advice?
anybody any experience with children not to same partner? was the above a problem? did it cause confusion for new baby (and older child for that matter)? should we agree on one name and stick to it that both babys use? i'm worrying myself silly thinking that the babys will be very confused. god i'm confused. i don't want to make it seem like new baby sees his daddy all the time but that 3year old doesn't and that makes him different kwim? 3year old has noticed latly that his daddy hasn't been around much (not down to us, i've phoned/seen ex several times about 3year old but nothing ever comes of it! same old story)
when we told 3year we were having a baby we said new partner is our new babys daddy and he was like 'noooo mummy that's *insert name*' but of course several months have passed since then and we have been living together for several months on our own too and 3year old seems to 'get' now that we are a family like peppa pig again, he's told us several times about peppa and george and new baby. peppa pig has alot to answer for i tell you!! lol!
xXx