older children with you while home birthing?

[Ju_bubbs]

Just been watching home birth diaries on tv, and noticed that petty much all of them have their other children tehre while they give birth, i'm not really sure how I feel about my children seeing me in so much pain.. how does everyone else feel about it?

 

[trumpetbum]

Mines are older so I've given them the choice, dd1 isn't interested but dd2 might be around. Both are prepared, both know that childbirth can be noisy but that it's because it is hard work and I think that's key to how they cope, preparation. I would always have someone there just to support them if I can, that will be my mums job.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I have 2 sons that are 11 and 6 (7 in jan) and a daughter that will be 9 in jan.

They are all aware of how the baby will come out, actually.. my 6 year old said to me a couple of months ago, "omg, mum, do you know that the baby will have to some out of your front bum!!!?"

And they have all seen biths on the tv, coz I'm addicted to those programes

I cant decide whether to ask them or not, mainly because I know my daughter will say she wants to be there, but no matter how much I try and prepare her, I think seeing me in pain and possibly shouting, will really upset her coz shes so sensitive!

What I'd love to do is give birth during the night while they are all fast asleep so that they wake in the morning and have the suprise of their little sister waiting for them.. but unfortunately, babys have minds of their own ha!

 

[trumpetbum]

I just said to my mum yesterday that I'm planning on going into labour as soon as the kids go to bed and having the baby by morning. I'm due at the beginning of the October holidays so they're likely to be around. Mines are 11 and 8 and the youngest is sensitive but she's also really empathetic and calming so I think she'd be ok. Do you have anyone to take them for a back up??

 

[faun]

My friend had her children there (4 & 6) for the last bit when the baby started to crown the children were brought in so they could see the birth of their baby sister. She didn't want them there for the rest of the labour as she didn't want them to get upset or bored so her mum took them into the garden for the day they had a picnic and bouncy castle then came in saw their sis come out and then wanted to go play again

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Yeah i've already aranged for their dad to come and take them when I go into labour.. it was just seeing so many women on the tv having their children there taht got me thinking about it, so now i'm not sure!

 

[Serene123]

I think personally you know your own children and having given birth before you know what you're like during labour. It must be a completely personal thing and the decision has to be based on you and your children xx

 

[trumpetbum]

I'd stick with plan A tbh if you're at all worried. Especially as your sensitive LO might cope heroically and love it, but you might end up labouring for longer because you're worried about her Lmao at the front bum, at least she got the anatomy right, my niece saw one of the birthing programmes when she was little, the lady ws on all fours and she was horrified ' It's coming out of her BUM!!!!!'

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I didn't laugh quite so much when the 6 year old also told me how the baby got in there!!!

I think maybe i'll have a talk to them about it and see how feel on the idea. If I do decide to let them be tehre, I can also have their dad on stand by to come and collect them if it gets t much for them, or they get bored lol

 

[bubbles]

I'd love my son to be around when I give birth, but since he is only 22months I don't think it is appropriate as it will just be me hubby and MWs so no one to keep an eye on him at home. He will be there until the MWs come and then DH will take him to MiL, ideally I would want him picked up again within 1hr of me giving birth but that would depend on what time she came etc

 

[goddess25]

My LO will be 2 when this one is born... I have asked my mum to come over from Scotland to be in the house with Euan. I will see him in early labour and in the middle but once in active labour i think he is a bit too small, i dont want to frighten him but depending on the time of day will see how things are at the time.

 

[milkmachine]

my toddler will be in the house but prob not in the room

 

[kiwimama]

My dd will only just be over 2 years old when her little brother or sister arrives so if I am labouring during the day, I'll get my mum to come and take her away. She'd actually probably be pretty fine with the whole thing, apart from getting bored but I don't want the worry of having her around me while I'm trying to birth my baby. If I am labouring during the night then I will still have my mum around, to tend to her if she happens to wake during the night.

 

[lilprince]

My four year old was at my second birth. I had been very upfront with her (even though she was only 4) throughout the whole pregnancy and we asked her if she wanted to be there. We read books about it and watched home birth videos and explained everything to her. When it came time I had a very close friend who my 4 yo adored be with her at the birth. My friend was my daughters 'person'. My friend was sure she was very attentive to my daughter and when it came time to deliver the placenta my daughter didn't want to be there so my friend took her out of the room. It was a beautiful experience she remembers to this day at age 13! The look on her face was priceless when her sister came out.

I'd start out by asking your little one if they want to be there and see the reaction!
Good luck!!!!!!!

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Aww its stories like that which really make me think i want them to be there!!

Still havn't spoken to them yet, I think its me more scared of them being there than they are!! Kind of like it's always the mum that crys on their first day of school.. and they've run off and forgotten all about you

 

[xemmax]

my older brother and i were there at the birth of my younger brother. i was 3 and my brother was 6. my mum said it kept her in control!

i remember running up and down the landing and in and out of the room while my mum was pushing. apparently when my younger brother was born we were called into the room and told it was a boy and i said "i like that baby!"

we were also there staring at our new brother as my mum delivered the placenta, where my older brother apparently turned around and said "QUICK EMMA, COME ON, MUM'S GUTS ARE FALLING OUT!"

i think to each their own... i would love to have a home birth one day with my other children present, but it depends on their age xx

 

[Ju_bubbs]

at mums guts falling out!!!

 

[poppy666]

I had my 4th 5mths ago and whilst pregnant my middle son Gage who is 18 asked if he could be one of my birthing partners, now i know 18 is a bit weird but he's Gay so i didnt need to think long i thought he may never witness a new life coming into this world and thought it a nice thing for him to experience and we've always been very close.... He was very emtional when he watched his brother being born and he's a lot closer to Korben than my other older boys because of it.

Thinks its just personal choice x

 

[memes12]

LOL @ guts falling out! Thought I was going to die laughing!

 

[pinkie77]

Both my daughters want to be there and I'm happy with that, they're 11 and 13 and both mature enough to understand. My son reckons he's going to be playing his xbox in his bedroom when I have the baby! I'm happy with that too but will arrange for somewhere for him to go if it's too much for him.