Older father..younger mother

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Trying4ababy, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. Trying4ababy

    Trying4ababy Well-Known Member

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    I'm 28 and hubby is 48....we both want to have a child together but are concerned about any problems that we could have conceiving or that the baby could have.


    Did your older man have any problems getting you pregnant? As in did it take long from the time you decided to start trying until it actually happened?

    I have read there is an increased chance of certain birth defects or disorders. ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, bi polar, cleft palate...etc. Did any of your children with your older man have any of these?

    Was your older man a better father than lets say a man closer to your age?

    For any of you that have kids with your OM that are old enough to voice opinions. Did your child resent having an older father?


    Please feel free to give me any more information that could be helpful.
     
  2. needbabydust

    needbabydust Well-Known Member

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    my friends hubbie is mid 30s she is 25 and they got pregnant sooooo quickly, like on their honeymoon.
     
  3. Crypto1976

    Crypto1976 Guest

    my oh is 48 and I am 33 and we got pregnant first cycle trying. It was ectopic due to my tubes but we are pregnant again and everything is fine for now. Good luck. X
     
  4. Trying4ababy

    Trying4ababy Well-Known Member

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    That gives me so much hope :)
     
  5. wanting1more

    wanting1more Praying for a sticky Bean

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    my dh is 38, and got pg 1st true cycle of ttc last month but had a loss. we have 4 other children but they are all older.

    we were not trying but not preventing since october though
     
  6. Mum2bewaiting

    Mum2bewaiting Mummy to DS & an angel

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    I'm 29 and DH is 50, the length of time it took to concieve 1st time were with due to issues with me, and I'm now pregnant again. After the mcwe went to the drs to see discuss it, and weren't made to feel that there would be any particular problems due to his age, just normal risks of a pregnancy... Good luck :)
     
  7. Crypto1976

    Crypto1976 Guest

    Charlie Chaplin was fathering perfectly healthy kids into his 70's. I wouldnt worry unneccessily, god knows theres enough to worry about in pregnancy! Good luck. XX
     
  8. thirdtimemum

    thirdtimemum Mother of 2,due on june 2

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    Im 27 and expecting my 2nd child with my fiance,hes 48.it took us longer 2nd time but because my cycles barely there
     
  9. LittleAurora

    LittleAurora 2 boys 1 girl :)

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    I am 26 my OH is 39 its has taken us some time to concive and both ended in MC. Im not saying this is the norm, just ans. your questions
     
  10. Trying4ababy

    Trying4ababy Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for all the answers. I'm just a worrier and have had so many people say it'll take us forever and that our baby will have mental problems.
     
  11. wanting1more

    wanting1more Praying for a sticky Bean

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    aww sweetie neither of those things are true based on his age! like a females, male fertility increases with age and in much older men the quality of the sperm decreases but unless your man is over 60 you are likely fine and have no need to worry
     
  12. Stacey_89

    Stacey_89 Team PINK

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    My OH's parents have 6 kids together and some more from their other marriages.

    The youngest child is 12 years old.... and they concieved her when he was 62 !!!!!
    so it can happen. i know some ppl find that grose, but hes a great dad and rele healthy and active for his age =]
     
  13. Deeni

    Deeni Well-Known Member

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    Men are so lucky...they don't seem to "expire" like us women do!! I am 32 and feel the clock ticking away. But men can be fathers in their 70s! Amazing.
     
  14. Trying4ababy

    Trying4ababy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys I wish I could hug each one of you :D
     
  15. NicoleB

    NicoleB Mama Of Many & Lovin It

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    my hubby is 16 years older than me and any problem we've had getting pg (it took us a while with both 1 and 2 and no problems with the rest) was with me not him. Dhs dad had his last baby at like 60 something..
     
  16. morri

    morri mom to one

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    I am also wondering about that. Not helping that I am more or less on the ASD myself :d'oh:
     
  17. crossroads

    crossroads Co-creator of a boy &girl

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    I'm 27 and hubby is 40. Our daughter Amy is due in July. It took us 1 month to conceive.

    I'm about to generalise but this is my personal experience.

    I'd prefer a father in his 40s to a father in his 20s for the following reasons:
    • Hubby is more mature than he was in his 20s. He has had his youth phase and been through various maturing transitions.
    • Hubby is more confident in general and more sure of who he is and what he wants out of life.
    • He made an informed decision to conceive after many years of deliberation.
    • He has built up his career over the years making it more secure and prosperous.
    • He has become less childish and more paternal over the years.
    • He has more life experience and wisdom. He is more familiar with how the world works.

    I have every confidence that hubby is going to be a fantastic father to Amy. He has taken the whole process very seriously right from the discussions about when to ttc. He is very involved at every stage. What's more is that I feel in safe hands. After all, the older you get, the more serious life events you have endured and learnt from. I'd choose 40 year old hubby over his former 20 year old self anyday! x

    The only thing I worry about is that he will die before me and I will be alone. But I try not to think about it too much. Instead I encourage hubby to be as healthy as he can.
     
  18. Trying4ababy

    Trying4ababy Well-Known Member

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    As you can see by my signature hubby and I are pregnant. I am 28 and he is 49 and we got married December 6th and conceived around January 27th.
     
  19. adisonsmommy

    adisonsmommy Well-Known Member

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    I'm 23 and my DH is 42, we've been ttc for 2 years now, however, I'm in the early stages of diagnosis of pcos, so we're not sure what's going on
     
  20. petalhead

    petalhead Well-Known Member

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    I am 39 and OH is 59. Yes, he's ancient but super sexy to me! As well as fit and healthy. I conceived the first month we tried. Sadly I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks but I was amazed that it happened so quickly. Its taken a while to recover and since then our timing has been off - I hope this month will be better. I hope this gives hope to others who are in this situation. I honestly believe, as unfair as it is, age and fertility is not the issue for men that it is for us girls.
     

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