One of 'those' name dramas.....

[Dime Cuando]

I'll try & keep this brief......

When I was pregnant with DD, I was convinced I was having a boy. A friend of mine was about a month further gone than me and chatting as you do I told her I was going to name 'him' Oliver - I've loved the name for about 10 years.

She had her gender scan first and texted me that day to say she was having a boy and was naming him....Oliver. I was lost for words to tell the truth and I do now realise a lot was to do with hormones - having said that, DH who is pretty laidback was not impressed at all at what happened!

As it happened I had a girl so it wasn't an issue. Now we are expecting baby nº2 and DH is adamant that if it's a boy, we are going to use the name. I am not so sure because the name caused me a lot of upset at the time and I felt a bit robbed (I realise that there's no 'name ownership' but I confided in her so I felt let down).

We actually hardly ever see the girl in question anymore but have a lot of mutual friends and the day that someone says 'your son is called Oliver the same as Mary's boy' I think I might go into one.

Soooo would you put it on your list under these circumstances??

 

[catty]

Oh if I loved the name I'd definately still use it! If anyone ever did say anything I'd just say it's always been my boy name for the past 10 years. If she said anything I'd gently remind her you told her about it before her son was even born.

 

[Take2]

I prefer to choose names that are a little more unique, not necessarily unique in the broader worldly sense but unique in my world anyway so I wouldn't want to use a name a friend of mine had used. I also don't tell people the name I choose because if they happen to select that name first I have to swallow my disappointment and acknowledged it wasn't done deliberately and accept it wasn't meant to be for my child. It's disappointing she did that tho. Good luck, there are many beautiful names out there, I'm sure u will find something unique u will fall in love with!

 

[Dime Cuando]

I prefer to choose names that are a little more unique, not necessarily unique in the broader worldly sense but unique in my world anyway so I wouldn't want to use a name a friend of mine had used. I also don't tell people the name I choose because if they happen to select that name first I have to swallow my disappointment and acknowledged it wasn't done deliberately and accept it wasn't meant to be for my child. It's disappointing she did that tho. Good luck, there are many beautiful names out there, I'm sure u will find something unique u will fall in love with!

I have certainly learnt my lesson and this time I going to keep quiet when we decide on a name....once bitten!

 

[Elisheva009]

If I always loved the name, I'd definitely still use it. I think other people would be unlikely to comment that your friend has a child with that name as Oliver is very popular. It would be more likely to happen if it was a very unusual name.

Could it be that she had always been planning to use the name too but just didn't mention it when you told her of your plans?

I understand why you might not want to tell people the name in future, but what if you decided on a name, didn't tell anyone, but one of your friends told you she was planning on using the name? Then it might look as if you copied her, even if you didn't!

 

[Starlight32]

I would still use it if I was in your position. Yeah, it's annoying, but there are also a bunch of other Olivers out there, her son is just one more.

 

[Boo44]

Definitely use it, she used it without considering you - and yes, nobody has rights to a name, and you didn't even have a boy anyway so it was all hypothetical, however I would be really disappointed If someone did that to me.

You may drift further apart and I'm a strong believer in using the name you love - so please do go for it

 

[Dime Cuando]

The reason I don't think she had ever considered the name is because she is Spanish and we live in Spain - it's not a popular name here.

If I had a name 'chosen' and a friend named their child first, I wouldn't use it if I was having my baby soon after, no. The only reason I am even giving this any consideration now is because 3 years will have passed by the time my baby is due.

Thanks for all of your imput. I've asked DH to 'keep an open mind' regarding the name.

 

[CandiceSj]

That was so inconsiderate of her!

I think you should totally use it, but with all your mutual friends, if you have another great name and will feel upset when people say, "Oh, you used the same name as Mary" (which I'd get pretty upset with if I was in that situation) then it might be Wise to use the other name. It's a small reason though, and your child will have his name for way longer than this frustrating situation will last!