One + One = Three

[pennymarie]

I try to use OH over anything else cause I try to be considerate. It's more inclusive. A lot of women here aren't married and are trying. And I've seen the odd guy on here to help understand his wife or gf. I even saw a male gay couple! They were trying to understand the womans cycle better for their surrogate. We all come from different parts of life with one main direction in life.

 

[baby_rose]

ty pennie ive lost out on a lot due to always worrying about my family and household and now I see I should have paid more attention to my own relationship but god knows why things happen i dont think I would change it but NOW i know its time to focus on myself i havent shared with them either about ttc everyone always asks when are the babies coming from us and i just smile and say not yet, i want to keep it personal and ive always pictured me recording and pulling a big surprise on everyone when the time comes just hoping its soon lol hows the tummy?

 

[TwoLezzies]

Girl I had a similar problem with my family. I was paying all the bills and taking care of my sisters while my mother just laid on her ass all day. and it was going on for 7 years and around 19 years old I left i didn't give a damn about anything else because I have my own family now and I needed to do what was best for DF and I. I couldn't take on her problems and mines so i left got us our own house.

 

[pennymarie]

Tummy supposedly has a baby it. I think someone should inform my body of this. Don't feel pregnant. Have first official professional ultrasound this Friday. Last one I had was the 10th but I wasn't allowed to look because it was the ER. I don't feel very queasy. Idk what's going on. But I've tried to let the last ultrasound and the fact there was a heartbeat soothe me. So I'm taking it easy.

Our mental states are most important! That's the hardest part of being an adult around my family (or what I have left). If they are nothing but negative and hurtful, then I have no choice but to have them not in my life. I have my own now. It's all I truly own is my life and my decisions. And if they don't want to be a part of that, then so be it. Both times Ive been pregnant I felt the urge to tell my mother and instantly regret it because she doesn't believe in children. And asks when is my abortion scheduled. And I have to reremind her that that's not my decision, obviously me and husband are going to keep it and she is genuinely confused because children "ruin everything" and my life will be not worth it anymore. So I have to cut her out. I don't think you need to do anything so severe, but you are what is important. And your bf. and your guys sanity

 

[baby_rose]

bee I know ive now seen the toll its taken on my own life i care too much here and i've practically raised the little ones an 11yr old and 6 year old, i feel horrible walking out on them ive considered fighting for their custody the only thing i can try and do is get a place big enough to take them in if necessary thankfully the bf doesn't say no but i know he would like a child of our own. He know ill eventually have custody of the kids the least i can say is he loves them too its just the drama with my mom we cant stand no more so yes looks like ill be looking in to a new living arrangement.

penny, is it that your scared to get your hopes up? maybe your trying not to pay attention to the little details? either way you got it girl you heard the heartbeat which that alone puts you ahead of a lot as for your your mother i dont understand why some can be so heartless sadly i have to deal with a delusional mother so i play the moment time and time again when i give birth if i even would allow her to visit idkkkk im thinking too ahead but as long as we have the support from our significant others nothing else should matter

 

[pennymarie]

That's very true. Having one person in your life is worth it. I would never have someone negative around my child. And that is my mother. She's been through so much I don't blame her, but it's still my choice. She's told me since I was 7 that I was a mistake. And her life would be better. It is a true fact that her being with my dad, an abusive alcoholic wasn't good. But I wouldn't want her saying stuff like that to my kida

I most assuredly don't want to get my hopes too high.

I wish you luck with your siblings? Idk if you specified. It shows you are responsible and hopefully you and your bf can handle it

 

[TwoLezzies]

Rose: That's good to hear thta you having other options.

penny: Heartbeat is awesomeness! Lol i would of cried big time I'm a huge baby lol

I can't wait to have a baby ugh it's like i dream about it , I think about , me and DF talk about it all the time. I had a baby a long time ago I didn't give birth to her my ex-bestfriend did and left her with me when she was 2 1/2 almost 3 weeks old. I took her in and raised her because I didn't want her to go in the system (foster care) I raise her at the age of 15 I had the most difficult time because i didn't have money my mom would tell me I'm stupid for raising that child she wasn't apart of the family but I still kept her. Dropped out of high school and worked. No help from nobody til i got into this relationship with this girl then she helped me that was around when she was 5 months old and she grew up knowing she had two mommies. Then when she was 4 , one week before her birthday my ex-bestfriend came and took her from me saying she wanted to raise her now. I still hate her til this day and I will never forgive her because she took her from me and let her go in the system (foster care) which was the dumbest thing ever!!!!!! I see her from time to time like twice a month but it's not the same. I'm not looking to replace her I just want my own child with my beautiful fiance

 

[pennymarie]

Wow. Im sorry that happened. To me family has never had to do with blood per se. If you loved her and raised her, she is yours. It's a shame it ended like that

 

[baby_rose]

hey girls sorry im keeping my reply short im a bit frustrated and disappointed in another cycle which i thought just maybeee since ive had sore nipples for like a week just like in december when my af was 12 days late and i thought i was prego well yea cd28 and BFNEGATIVEEE ughhhhhh shoot me wish it was much easier really this hope thing is becoming difficult feeling a bit blue today af should show her face soon

 

[pennymarie]

Sry about that rose. You were pretty stressed this cycle. So if AF shows, know that you probably did everything right, and try to take it easy next cycle. Supposedly we lose our fertility in times of stress because our body assumes it might be famine or some other environmental reason. So just try to not be frustrated with your body. You still aren't out yet anyway.

How are you doing twolezzies? Any signs the body is revving up?

 

[TwoLezzies]

Im so pissed. So this cycle is a bust. My unreliable donor just emailed me this morning saying he will be traveling and won't be back til March. So i asked how long did you know? And his ass says about a couple of weeks now. So im like you didn't care to mention that a couple of weeks ago? And DF thinks that we can find another donor within a week and no it's not like that! Ugh im so pissed

 

[GalvanBaby]

Aww man Two, that sucks! Do you have any other people you would know who might be a back up donor?

 

[TwoLezzies]

Yea I do but I haven't screen them like with there STD results and such. I ovulate next week Im trying to get in contact with them no replies so far.

 

[GalvanBaby]

Good luck! Fx you find one in time!!

 

[pennymarie]

Oh no!!! Can't he freeze it? I know there is something about that. I'd rather be safe than sorry with the rushing to find a new donor. I hope you do, but it's good you're screening. He doesn't seem that considerate. Did he say when in march?

 

[baby_rose]

i know thank you penny, well see how next cycle goes i gatta stock up for the month with opks i still dont know if im o'ing early on or around my cd19.or 20ish still waiting for the ugly af -_____- i should have gone full throttle at the gym since i got nothing this cycle lol thats why i had held off on tummy exercises and bee have you always had issues with your donor?

 

[TwoLezzies]

GalvanBaby: Thanks hun

Penny: No he can't freeze it sadly ugh and DF is like we need to find another one I'm like I ovulate next week how in the hell we gonna find another donor in a week this type of search takes about a month. So she's upset and pissed about it. He comes back March first which will be CD 23 7-8 days before my period

Rose: Ugh girl I want to say yes but then I want to say no lol. I want to say yes because last cycle I wanted to inseminate at least 3 times and he was like okay with that he was like no 1-2 times is okay. Now this cycle he left and didn't even let me know he was leaving til he was gone. Then he emails me and say " I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I still would love to help you and Rae (DF) conceive a baby. I'm like yeah yeah yeah put a sock in it! So upset and every time I have a ovulation pain I get mad all over again.

 

[TwoLezzies]

CD16 today

 

[baby_rose]

Have u found a donor yet or o'd girl? I think im 4 days late i dont want to get my hopes up either i got negative hpts cd23&28 i may have.od later? Not sure i don't want.disappointment so im a sitting duck im just super emotional i start Crying randomly idk if its due to my depression tho

 

[TwoLezzies]

I have two back up donors and my flaking donor lol. So next cycle is a goooooooooooo! And I ovulate 3 days before I get married so I guess a relaxing tww on our honeymoon I'm excited