"Only female volunteers over 18 can change diapers"....

[bookworm0901]

I noticed this sign at my church today. I get the "over 18", I don't think teenagers should be changing diapers. But the "only females"? I know our world is really weird and you can never be too safe, and men tend to be the "pedophiles" more often than women, but isn't this a bit discriminatory? Or are they allowed to say something like this without repercussion because, as a church, it's "private"?

Just wondering what everyone thinks. I'm not going to say anything to them about it, or anything.

At the zoo today after church, we stopped at a playground and my brother (24 yrs old) happened to sit on a bench by himself away from us. After a few mins, he got up and sat next to me and said "I don't wanna look like a pedophile in my dark sunglasses by myself staring at the playground". Completely teasing him, I said "Only pedophiles think that way" and he said "trust me, all men think this way. No one wants to be accused because our world is so messed up about stuff like this, nothing is innocent anymore".

It reminded me of the sign. What do you ladies think?

 

[kirst76]

I think that all men are a little paranoid about this and for good reason.

Also I see nothing wrong with a teenager changing a nappy.....my teen does it often, just not the poo ones, lol

 

[bookworm0901]

I think that all men are a little paranoid about this and for good reason.

Also I see nothing wrong with a teenager changing a nappy.....my teen does it often, just not the poo ones, lol

I definitely agree that certain teens can be very responsible! But I think in a daycare situation, if there was ever a problem with diaper rash from poo residue or something, there could be a lot of problems if a teenager did the diaper. It's kind of like, "better safe than sorry" and just have an adult do it. But in a private situation, like a teenager I know, I would be fine letting them do the diaper.

This situation is a bit different but when I worked at a daycare a few years ago, we hired a new 20 yr old girl and she did a diaper change for 6 babies- all 18 months old. I did the next diaper change, and I realized that she put every single diaper on backwards!! I have no idea how she even did it, but I wish she would have told me she had never changed diapers before!

 

[kassiaethne]

I dunno, I personally would wonder at any teenage boy wanting to change dipers....With women it's the mothering and getting it out of your system or enjoying kids....tell me one normal boy who gets up and say "today I wanna change a diper"

May be wrong and sexist but my friend was molested by 3 different guys ages 18-30 all who seemed innocently wanting to help her parents out but ended up doing more....

 

[mommie2be]

That is odd. I had Corey at 17 so I was changing diapers but I'm also his mom so its different I guess. The male thing, I doubt that bothers the men at all.

 

[bookworm0901]

May be wrong and sexist but my friend was molested by 3 different guys ages 18-30 all who seemed innocently wanting to help her parents out but ended up doing more....

That's so horrible for your friend. Our world is so sick.

I think a lot of people think it's weird when men like to take care of children because it's not really hardwired into them the way it is into us women. I have this mommy wavelength with my LO that my DH is seriously missing, so I guess when men seem interested in taking care of babies we feel like there must be more to it...

 

[CMarie]

I really struggle with signs like that and this whole notion society has that you need to be careful about men being around kids, etc. Yes, some men are pedophiles, but for the rest of the men that aren't, it really does make them feel quite low. My husband has even struggled with this personally when he's worn LO in the baby carrier and he had some very terrible looks given to him And he's even been given comments about changing his own sons diaper. I can understand being cautious (maybe what your church is trying to do with that sign), but I honestly think this is starting to do more harm than good.

 

[kassiaethne]

May be wrong and sexist but my friend was molested by 3 different guys ages 18-30 all who seemed innocently wanting to help her parents out but ended up doing more....

That's so horrible for your friend. Our world is so sick.

I think a lot of people think it's weird when men like to take care of children because it's not really hardwired into them the way it is into us women. I have this mommy wavelength with my LO that my DH is seriously missing, so I guess when men seem interested in taking care of babies we feel like there must be more to it...

Mhmm and I think that is a good instinct to follow. Heck in the case of my friend it was first her uncle, second her aunt's boyfriend, and third was a local guy known for helping with the children of the neighborhood staying off the streets, a very well liked and trusted man of the community, and she was no way near his first.

The truth is you never know and no matter how great a guy a person seems, the person who likes that kind of thing tends not to be the creeper in the van, but someone close to you or trusted in a community such as a church. And it doesn't have to be an old man, the boyfriend of her aunt had been 19. So I'd just be grateful for a church doing it's best to give the kids a safe environment. Even if it does mean hurting one or two guys egos

 

[Randianne]

I don't know what to think. I agree men are scared of being perceived the wrong way. My OH felt awkward changing LO's diapers at first. I can't imagine how he'd feel if it was someone else's baby.

On the other hand, as long as there are other adults around, I don't know why a man couldn't change a diaper. I really prefer to see child care workers in pairs regardless of gender. It creates a lot more accountability.

It's so sad that we even have to consider these things.

 

[robinator]

Our church only allows parents to change diapers, so if a kid poops, the parent is paged. Also, for toddler/pre-school aged kids, only females are allowed to accompany to the restroom and can help undo their pants, but if a kid needs help wiping, a parent is called. If the volunteer has to help the child get on the toilet, the door to the stall has to remain open so they are not in there alone.

They made these policies off of a bible verse about "avoiding all appearance of evil". There are a lot less opportunites for false accusations this way, and if some guy really is a molester, well, he doesn't get his chance at our church. The church is covering it's ass, if you will. I think it's smart, and the parents appreciate it.

 

[Dk1234]

I think this is a good rule. I mean the world is screwed up. At my church you can't work in the nursery without passing a criminal background check.

 

[robinator]

Same here. I'd rather my child be overprotected than under. People who work with children have to pass background checks, why not volunteers? You are still caring for small children, whether paid or not.

 

[baby287]

When I wireless in daycare (k-5th) the guys that worked there weren't allowed to do the closing or opening shift without a woman working with them. I don't know if it was legal..I always kinda wondered..

 

[BabyBoyLove12]

I think, sadly, in a world like ours today it's just something that needs to be done.

 

[bookworm0901]

I agree with all of you, even though it's so sad. I just would never forgive myself if my LO was harmed because I was trying not to be discriminatory.

 

[AngelofTroy]

Am I really the only one who finds this incredibly sexist?! I get that we have to be cautious and protect children, but women can abuse too! Banning men because it's apparently more commonly men who are paedophiles seems backwards to me. What if research suggested that more child abusers were blond? Would it be just as acceptable to see a sign stating "brunette volunteers only to change nappies"?
Approving of this sign seems to me to defend the sort of ignorant, discriminatory attitude that leads to black men being stopped more by police.
I'd hate to have to explain to my son that people think him capable of disgusting behaviour simply because he's male.
Have a policy that no volunteers change nappies, or that they all need a background check or work in pairs by all means, but don't tar all men with the same horrible brush.

 

[socitycourty]

my DH change's our DD's diaper, has bathed her, showered with her, etc. but if another male relative wanted to change her diaper i would be concerned, i don't know.

there are female pedophiles too, just not nearly as many

 

[kassiaethne]

Am I really the only one who finds this incredibly sexist?! I get that we have to be cautious and protect children, but women can abuse too! Banning men because it's apparently more commonly men who are paedophiles seems backwards to me. What if research suggested that more child abusers were blond? Would it be just as acceptable to see a sign stating "brunette volunteers only to change nappies"?
Approving of this sign seems to me to defend the sort of ignorant, discriminatory attitude that leads to black men being stopped more by police.
I'd hate to have to explain to my son that people think him capable of disgusting behaviour simply because he's male.
Have a policy that no volunteers change nappies, or that they all need a background check or work in pairs by all means, but don't tar all men with the same horrible brush.

so you are telling me if the police in your neighborhood said there is a blond woman climbing in peoples windows at night and stealing children...you would be totally indifferent when a blond woman walks by your window? You wouldn't keep an eye on her just in case?

I think it is silly to put that kind of generality on everything because the world isn't so fluffy and nice. If it was proven that blond women were raping children in my neighborhood, yup I'd probably not be hiring the blond babysitter. And I would think it would be stupid on someone's part to ignore key information like that just because they wanted to be politically correct and socially accepted. *shrugs*


unfortunatly it is not blonds, its men that are more likely to be raping children. Not saying women don't do it. But statistically it's men, and men you know, not strangers. I am not saying glare at every man and shame them for even being in a room with a child. Am just saying, be aware, and don't just trust a person cuz they are friendly.

 

[marron]

Reading some of these comments make me so sad for my little boy's future.

 

[bookworm0901]

Am I really the only one who finds this incredibly sexist?! I get that we have to be cautious and protect children, but women can abuse too! Banning men because it's apparently more commonly men who are paedophiles seems backwards to me. What if research suggested that more child abusers were blond? Would it be just as acceptable to see a sign stating "brunette volunteers only to change nappies"?
Approving of this sign seems to me to defend the sort of ignorant, discriminatory attitude that leads to black men being stopped more by police.
I'd hate to have to explain to my son that people think him capable of disgusting behaviour simply because he's male.
Have a policy that no volunteers change nappies, or that they all need a background check or work in pairs by all means, but don't tar all men with the same horrible brush.

I guess I think of it this way....

Say research showed that child abusers were mainly blond and a huge population of society was wary of blonds around children. Say I was blond, but perfectly innocent and harmless. I would be willing to stay away from childcare situations to make parents feel more comfortable. It doesn't mean I'm not going to have my own children and love them and care for them, it just means I won't be putting myself in situations to make others uncomfortable.

So I guess the way I see it is, there is a population of male pedophiles out there. Most harmless men (not all, but most) do not have an interest in childcare. So I guess they are willing to stay away from childcare situations, even if it means their entire gender is forbidden from the situation, as long as by doing this, they are also keeping the sick men away from children.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. My husband is happy to stay away from childcare situations and maybe by forbidding him, the creeps in my town are also forbidden, thank god.