Lirpa11
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I have been on at DH for nearly a year now saying I am ready to TTC. DH always said we will, later on. So in August I decided to go off the pill and told DH he could be in charge of protection. For the first couple of weeks he said let's just see what happens, so I thought yay TTC! Then he all of a sudden got cold feet and said never mind as he wanted to wait because he wants to finish some toys (doing up old cars an stuff), before a baby. So I said ok get to going on them so they can get done by early 2014 and then we can TTC. Well a few weeks later again he said never mind again as he wants to go on a last holiday overseas and then TTC, but not TTC before then so I can drink on it with him (I'm not worried about drinking!). So I unhappily said ok again...
Well, then I didn't want to plan this trip as all I could think of is 6 months + 9 = nearly a year and half before kids! I tried talking to him that we try in January or March and I just go while expecting so we have a baby next year which he shot down without even considering.
So back to a few days ago, another friend came out and told us they're expecting and all I could think of was that could have been us if we had started when I asked rather than being pushed back. So I got upset and resented this holiday even more. I didn't want to talk to DH for a couple of days, as I knew it was a dead end and I just
felt down.
So DH said yesterday that he wanted to talk as he knew something was wrong. I told him that I didn't really want the trip if it was going to push us back so far and that the money could be better spent on our house ($15-$20k for this trip). So DH said ok, and I should have said so if that's how I felt (guessing he hasn't been listening for the past few months...) so last night he said he is happy to not do the trip and look at TTC/NTNP.
So I am happy, but I'm wondering If it's the right choice. I don't want to push yet compromising with him seems difficult... Anyone have some thoughts please?
Well, then I didn't want to plan this trip as all I could think of is 6 months + 9 = nearly a year and half before kids! I tried talking to him that we try in January or March and I just go while expecting so we have a baby next year which he shot down without even considering.
So back to a few days ago, another friend came out and told us they're expecting and all I could think of was that could have been us if we had started when I asked rather than being pushed back. So I got upset and resented this holiday even more. I didn't want to talk to DH for a couple of days, as I knew it was a dead end and I just
felt down.
So DH said yesterday that he wanted to talk as he knew something was wrong. I told him that I didn't really want the trip if it was going to push us back so far and that the money could be better spent on our house ($15-$20k for this trip). So DH said ok, and I should have said so if that's how I felt (guessing he hasn't been listening for the past few months...) so last night he said he is happy to not do the trip and look at TTC/NTNP.
So I am happy, but I'm wondering If it's the right choice. I don't want to push yet compromising with him seems difficult... Anyone have some thoughts please?
. I too am in the "not wanting to push" phase, but dropping lots of hints. It's hard to know what the right decision is, but if he gave in a bit and wants to NTNP then he must want it somewhere deep down? It sounds like he is compromising with you so maybe don't feel too bad about it as he is working with you on the timeline. And you are being very realistic on planning with the $$ on the trip vs. your house. Believe me, if I can't convince my DH after 10 years (he's really not been ready until almost this year, at least we are talking about planning now), then your guy somewhere wants this and is willing to give a little. Best of luck and keep in mind that he loves you and relationships are a give and a take, and as long as it's in your families best interest and not for selfish reasons, then there is no harm in at least expressing how you feel.
