Opposition to HBAC... already!

[lousielou]

I spoke to my midwfie on the phone for the first time today. She seems really nice - very friendly... but disappointingly, she gasped in horror when I told her we want a homebirth. "But - but - but... you do realise that due to your previous C-Section you're classed as 'high risk' don't you? We strongly recommend you give birth in the hospital" She said, once she'd regained her composure. I told her that I was very informed, and have made a real effort to read up on all the facts, as well as the risks and benefits associated with an HBAC. Nevertheless, she made it clear that she was really rather stunned, and promptly booked me in to 'state my case' with an OB. "He'll say the same as me though" she warned, helpfully.

I haven't even had my bloody booking appointment yet, and already I'm getting opposition. I am really not looking forward to having to fight my corner on this. If OH wasn't so fabulously supportive, I think I'd be tempted just to give in - but I know in my heart of hearts a home birth is the best thing for us. I had such a shiteous time in hospital when my son was born, I hated every second of it.

Urgh. I'm feeling really negative now and I'm cross with myself for letting her views affect me! Please reassure me that I'm doing the right thing!!

 

[MaybeMomSarah]

Good for you to sticking to your guns!

If I were in that situation, I would bring print outs of all of the research you have done supporting your plan, and come across that having a hospital birth is simply not an option at all. Don't even fathom discussing it.

 

[snagglepat]

Absolutely and utterly right!

Have you joined up to the yahoo email list for VABC/HBAC? I'd recommend it if you haven't - there are so many women on there who have been through the same or similar, and have gone on to have wonderful HBACs. You might have some negotiation to do but you can do it.

Have you considered hiring a doula? Having a birth professional to help you fight your corner might be really useful. Most doulas won't take bookings until after 12 weeks but there'd be nothing to stop you ringing around and exploring the possibility in the mean time. I can see you're in the UK, so www.doula.org.uk might be useful to you in that regard. I've had several HBAC clients. Not all have gone on to have their HBACs but some have, I've been with them. You can do this.

Don't let her attitude get to you. You might have to face more like her yet so try to see it as more of a practice exercise and an opportunity to perfect your arguments. You will get there.

Best wishes,

Gina.

 

[lousielou]

Thank you both so much. I was feeling very hormonal yesterday, and to be honest all I wanted was a little reassurance I'm a lot more positive today that I am doing the right thing, and I'm going to arm myself with all the facts before I see her face to face!! I am absolutely determined to birth at home, and damn it, it's my choice!

Snagglepat - I wish I could afford a doula, but thank you for the link anyway. I had signed up to the yahoo group when I was pregnant with my son but haven't done it this time yet - thanks for reminding me!

 

[lousielou]

Hmm.. I spoke too soon! Thanks ever so much for that link snaggle - there's a trainee doula in my area who sounds positive about VBACs and as she's a trainee only charges expenses! I'm going to look into it further, but I'm feeling a million times more positive about it all again now

 

[snagglepat]

I'm glad things are more positive for you today Lousie, and that there's the possibility of a trainee doula for you. We've booked a doula and ours is a trainee as well - and she's fab. Keep us posted!

Gina.

 

[chuck]

Please keep me updated on howe it goes, I'm gunning for a HBAC - although I doubt my hubby will be so keen.

 

[SmokyJoe78]

Good for you

I'd like to have a HBAC too, next time

 

[sierra19]

i hope it works out for you, don't give up your fight...i know 2 mothers who's first was by c-section and second was a vaginal home birth-successful.

maybe you should keep looking for a midwife that is down with your plan?

 

[lousielou]

Thanks for the support

We're actually looking to move house between now and the birth, so will probably be swapping midwives too. Hopefully we'll get a more supportive one, but if not, I'm happy to ask for a different one I think!

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

Hi Louise,

I'm considering a trainee doula aswell as after speaking to my mw on the phone I'm not sure of how supportive she's going to be!
If you do have alot of trouble with a particular midwife you can contact the supervisor of midwifes in your area with all the info and they usually sort things out from what I've heard

Good luck and I hope it gets easier!

Abz x