OT - dd getting bullied

[Mummietobe]

Through facebook

Shes 11 and i let her have facebook because me and her dad arent together and him and his side of the family live quite far away so she catches up with them on fb and they send pics etc.

Shes had it for a couple of years now no trouble but the last year she started adding friends from school everything was fine all nice until last week, i logged on i always check incase weird ppl try to add her and there was a message from a girl who lives in our area calling dd names and saying when she sees her shes going to hit her and ever since then some girls that dd goes to school with have been sending her nasty messages too. My dd doesnt really know this girl i dont let her play out much so it seems this girls just taken a disliking to her and wants to frighten her. After looking into who this girl was it seems like shes the local bully a lot older than my dd she likes to intimidate ppl, apparantley her parents are the same and unapproachable. Im not sure what to do school hasnt started yet and the high school this girl goes to doesnt open till next week but dd isnt looking forward to going back now and is frightened im so angry i hate bullies i messaged the girl to ask why she didnt like bethany and she told me to shut it and that my daughter was a tramp wtf?!!

Any advice on wat to do nothing has happened yet but im seriously considering the police x

 

[stardust599]

I'd keep the messages and call the police hun - give the girl a good bloody scare! xxx

 

[Soos]

i vote for police

 

[reiller]

I agree with Stardust. Kepp the messages and call the police -i anything they will have a chat and exlpain that bullying is wrongif anything is said or done to Bethany they will know who to tlk to.

Bullies tend to be insecure themselves. You said her parents are unapproachable but would it help o try speak with them?

 

[sherple]

Yep, same advice here. Use that new bullying button thing that facebook have got. Delete the girl and block her too. only problem you may have is that she is underage for facebook and they might just close her account too. If they do that it might be best if you just allow her to contact her dad and his family but not her friends. Theyre obviously not real friends if theyre sending her messages like that. Poor kid, i detest bullies! Have you asked her if its just on facebook or if its outside too. Will she be going to the same school as this older girl?
Hope she's ok.

 

[v2007]

Use the Online Bullying link, print off all the messages and speak to the Police and delete and block the girl.



V xxx

 

[DottyLottie]

I would first take the messages to the school, it is their responsibility to protect your daughter from bullying at school, and whilst this has occured outside of school (via the net) I still would make them aware of it, and highlight to them you are so concerned you have not ruled out calling the police if this is not resolved.

This girl is effectively harrassing your DD, and you have concrete evidence of that, so the police should act on any complaints you make, but I would deffo try and go via the school first.

 

[miamia34]

Its a difficult one as you dont want to cause more hardship for your dd. A friend of mine at work had this back along with her daughter who was 12 and she went into school and told them as to whats going on and she also notified the police, they came round and jotted down the messages that were sent and then coincided with the school so both parties knew what was going on, i know the police went round and cautioned the girl who was 13 and luckily shes had no trouble either at school or out. I hate some people as they think they can do what they like and hurt people and basically just dnt give a shit! I would say just do what my friend did and hopefully that will be the end of it. Although i know my friend saw this girl and jumped out the car and threatened her also if she bulied her daughter again!! Hope you get on ok and your ddxx

 

[loramac]

I work in a school and have heard of this type of thing before and just to warn youthe school might not want to get involved.. I would defo let them know whats been happening so they can keep an eye out but I would contact the police aswell....think this girl seems like a right wee nasty so she clearly needs a fright!I cant believe she wrote that back to you!!Your poor wee girl

 

[lushious09]

facebook is not meant for 11 year olds... its a bad place in general!!!! i suggest you close her account asap and have a word with this girls parents... as for keeping intouch with the family thats what phones and letters are for x

 

[ttc_lolly]

I agree - I would defo inform the school as tye have a responsibility to make sure your daughter is safe within those school gates, and I would contact the police too as it is bullying and harrassment so they have to get involved x

 

[Mummietobe]

Thanks for your advice

Ive just had to phone oh i couldnt calm myself down i kept panicking im so worried for her tomorrow she should be excited but shes not!

The girl whos bullying her doesnt go to her school fortunately shes in high school and my dd is in the last year of primary which is probably why shes got beths mates to fall out with her aswell i reckon their scared too.

Ive printed the messages off and going to see the head teacher tomorrow and told beth ive got to shut her fb down she didnt seem too fussed to be honest i dont think she will miss it. Just hope the schools can sort it cos the way my hormones are i want to ring the girls neck! x

 

[Cookie1979]

You may well find that the school cant do anything as the older girl doesn't go there. Bullying is terrible, I dont think people truly realise the effect it has on children, I was bullied, even got punched in the face by a boy who was harrassing me for almost 4 years.

I hope you get it sorted, it may well all blow over, but if not then needs to be dealt with as you dont want it escalating.

Best of luck!!! There are some nasty kids out there who enjoy being nasty to others, they think its tough and makes them look good, but it doesn't in the slightest, people only put up with it because of fear.

 

[DottyLottie]

I didn't realise the girl was at a different school from your DD.
I really hope the police act on your complaint and you manage to get this figured out. I would feel exactly as you do, it's horrible to think of our LO's (even when they are big!) being picked on and threatened, makes me so mad!

 

[ttc_lolly]

I hope u get it sorted hun!!

Grrrr I really hate bullies, I was never bullied at school and never bullied anyone (altho I did have the heated arguements/fall outs with other girls but I think everyone goes thru that at some stage!!) but this is another thing that worries me about being a parent... I honestly don't know what I'd do if my kid got bullied? I'd like to think I could be as calm & rational as u Mummietobe, but I doubt that will be the case!! I'll be that angry parent that goes marching round to the kid's house and having it out with the whole bloody family lol x

 

[trumpetbum]

Ita with using the online bullying link. Keep screenshots to alert the police and talk to your dd about either packing facebook in or setting up one with stricter controls and limited 'friends'.
Facebook can be a nightmare if you don't have strict controls. My dd1 asked for one too as her friends in class/old school are using them to keep in touch and I compromised by 'sharing' it with her. It is technically set up for her but only used under my supervision, we both agree on who is added or rejected. I've already had to reject a nice grown up who we met through a friend, but I messaged them through mine and explained that dd wasn't allowed to add adults who weren't immediate family for her own safety. She can only use the messenger when I'm around, her profile contains no information on her etc. I'm lucky though as part of dh's job is going through internet safety with parents so he knows the pitfalls. I'm hoping that when she is technically old enough for her own facebook that she will have learned well how to use it safely.

 

[Claireyh]

I work in a school and have heard of this type of thing before and just to warn youthe school might not want to get involved.. I would defo let them know whats been happening so they can keep an eye out but I would contact the police aswell....think this girl seems like a right wee nasty so she clearly needs a fright!I cant believe she wrote that back to you!!Your poor wee girl

It's not about school not wanting to get involved, it's that schools have no powers whatsoever once it's past the school gates. There is nothing we can do besides 'make a note of it' (fat lot of good that is!) and it is very frustrating!!

I'm a teacher and I would advise you as many others have keep a record of everything and go to the online bullying (isn't there a panic button for younger users?) or the police. If it were my child, I would be ringing the police to find out what to do, online bullying is taken very seriously.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, why are kids so nasty to each other, it makes me really angry!! Hope she's ok hun.

xxx

 

[DivaSatanica]

I work in a school and have heard of this type of thing before and just to warn youthe school might not want to get involved.. I would defo let them know whats been happening so they can keep an eye out but I would contact the police aswell....think this girl seems like a right wee nasty so she clearly needs a fright!I cant believe she wrote that back to you!!Your poor wee girl

It's not about school not wanting to get involved, it's that schools have no powers whatsoever once it's past the school gates. There is nothing we can do besides 'make a note of it' (fat lot of good that is!) and it is very frustrating!!

I'm a teacher and I would advise you as many others have keep a record of everything and go to the online bullying (isn't there a panic button for younger users?) or the police. If it were my child, I would be ringing the police to find out what to do, online bullying is taken very seriously.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, why are kids so nasty to each other, it makes me really angry!! Hope she's ok hun.

xxx

Its not like that here at all! If a child is being bullied, the school will step in, regardless of if its off school property (on the way home from school, etc) or online. I'm in Ontario, Canada and if it happened here, I would go to the primary school and report it. They should contact the high school and have the bully dealt with.

 

[Fiore]

What a nasty little cow this bully is! Saying that, if her parents are a bit funny then it's no wonder.

I hope you get this sorted soon xx

 

[Mummietobe]

thanks everyone i cant stop bloody crying im fumin the girl sent me a message calling my dd a fat skank and that she will be round soon with a smiley face on the end omg im shaking i just wanna ring her neck!

Im waiting for police to phone me back and trying to calm myself down i dont want to send her school tomorrow as its not just her now its others joining in, there putting beths name on their statuses wtf why arent their parents saying anything i found all this straight away because i monitor beths fb all the time.

Im still gonna inform school the high school this girl goes to is local and beths primary often go there for sports and plays so im hoping the heads are on good terms with each other x