OT - Sister having psychotic episode

[KittyVentura]

Hi ladies...

Posting on here because I don't really know where else to share this.

Last Aug my little sister (19) was sectioned having a full on psychotic episode. First occurence for her, I wont go into what brought it on but she was in a BAD way. Full on delusions and hallucinations. She'd stopped cleaning herself too and so on. It was heartbreaking eeing her so far from the person she is. She regressed fully into a child-like state.

I helped her through it, she was in hospital an hour away and I was training down every day etc and the sheer effort of helping her get well again took so much out of me. Not that it's about me but knowing that is relevant. It was mentally and physically exhausting and it was all on me. My mum is useless... not being negative... that is a fact. Again I wont go into specifics but it is relevant to know. She'll put in time when the initial drama of a crisis is there but fast looses interest.

I found out today that my sister has relapsed and is having another psychotic episode (she's now confirmed as skitzophrenic). Hasn't been sectioned yet but is seeing crisis teams daily and it's a matter of time before she is. I saw her this evening and it's just like it was last year. Her hair is all matted and unwashed, she thinks she is lady gaga (sounds funny... but these are the hallucnations she has) and she was just completely out of it. She was clinging to my hand, clearly petrified and talking like a child again.

It's heartbreaking and I don't know if right now I have the strength to help her through this. Not right now. I don't mean that selfishly... I'll do everything I can... I'm just genuinely worried as to what will happen if I can't cope. I've been feeling sick since I got home and I'm like how far do I push myself to help my sister when I don't know how the stress and upset will affect my son?

If anyone has advice please can I have it. I feel like I'm really selfish for posting this when of course helping my sister is my priority. I'm just scared, worried and upset xx

 

[youngmum2b]

I dont really have any advise just wanted to give u lots of hugs, lots of people wouldnt have done half of what u have, ur sisters very lucky to have you n im sure that even a little help will go a long way.

 

[Purple Poirot]

Hey, just posting as I didn't want to read and run, but don't have any experience of this myself so no advice really. You sound like a totally amazing & caring sister, she's lucky to have you there for her, and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I really hope your sister gets the help she needs and that you're able to concentrate on yourself too, the must be so hard for you. Big hugs xx

 

[pinkgem100]

aw hun sorry u have to go through this, if it was me i would do all i can to help sis get better BUT also not push myself as you have another priority now, looking after yourself and bump!! sorry i dont have much advise, is there no one who is helping your sis that you can talk to to get any stress/worry or concern off your chest ??

big hugs to you and your family. x x

 

[KittyVentura]

Thanks ladies.

I have my DH who is wonderful but I hate burdening him with my worries when he already has so much pressure etc on him at work and being the sole provider. Also I'm the strong one, you know? It's hard to let real people (not that you're not all real.. but you know) know that you're scared when you know they rely on you to be the strong dependable one xx

 

[mama.bear]

i'm not sure i've much in the way of advice hun.. like everyone else shared, really sounds like you've done a lot already and given the severity/nautre of her situation, is there really anything more than you can do, on your own? sounds like she def needs some medical attention of some sort... which i am sure you know.
i've been thru some scary mental health issues/situations with my father years ago and every single person in my immediate family bailed on him because he too had turned into someone not at all who he was, who we knew him to be, so much so that there was so much 'fear' around him that it blinded them to the fact that he was 'ill'.... it was so sad. he had no one and while there were def times i knew that i couldn't 'be there' for him physically, i sent him tonnes of light & healing loving vibes/energy and pictured him as well, as happy and healthy, so as to somehow (even energetically) guide him back to his centre. he's much better now and out of everyone in my fam, i'm the only one who will have anything to do with him. such is life, wish it wasn't so but it is and we've gotta move forward...
ok, sorry for the background, just wanted to share some of my experience so you know i'm not speaking out of my ass.... this is also a tough time for you, being heavily pregnant and vulnerable, sensitive to stresses in a much bigger way than if you weren't.. again i know you know this. do what you can for her that won't overextend yourself or compromise your LO...... you've already shown the depth of your love and care for your sister and be there for her in every/any way you can that FEELS ok for you.
it must be so hard for you right now... you're doing your best hun, never underestimate the power of your love for her, and the support you've already given..... look after yourself and of course LO.. YOU all need you stable and strong, too!
i have every faith that this crisis will subside over some time and she will come to see the light of day and of her Self... it may take some time but it is possible..
love&blessings to you

 

[QueSeraSera]

im sorry that you are having to go through this, especially at this point in time when you should be only worrying about your little boy and being happy that youre on the downhill stretch toward having your little bundle in your arms. i don't really have a lot of advice for you, but i do have a brother who has constantly been in and out of trouble and rehab and prison and such. its not the same, im sure, because all of his problems were due to his own choices to use drugs. he has had his "epsiodes" and gotten into a lot of trouble at some of the most inconvenient times...right before graduations, wedding, and other big events. of course he always needs help to get on his feet again, and for a long time we helped out in whatever ways we could, often dropping all of our own issues and needs to do so. but at some point it came down to the fact that we had to have our priorities straight. he was just released from rehab again after 9 month stint in jail and 2 in a treatment facility, again without any money, friends, or anything to his name pretty much. he always needs us to be the the strong ones for him, and this time we just had to tell him that, while we will always be there to listen and be a shoulder, that this time he had to do it on his own. i know its a different situation, but im just saying that for me, this time, it came down to the fact that i couldnt burden myself with his stresses knowing that it could harm my child. its a hard decision to make because really you have loyalties to both your siblings and your kids, but sometimes you have to just say that you cant do it all. im sure this isnt helping you at all, but i hope that you can figure something out to get through this situation relatively stress free. you really should be happy and awaiting the birth of your child instead of coping with these stresses! best of luck and well wishes for you and yours!

 

[Aus_Amy]

Didn't want to read and run.. Whatever decision you make, will be the right one for you.. You have you and bubs to think about too..

 

[newmommy23]

I have schizophrenia, but I developed it as a small child and in my opinion, it was easier for me to learn how to cope. the thing you have to remember is that the disease has no cure, and you stressing is not going to help! what your sister really, really needs is some sort of hospitalization. its very important for people with such strong delusions to figure out the drugs that can help them, and learning coping mechanisms is very hard on the "outside"
pm me if you want to talk about it, but I would recommend being there for her without any stressing yourself.

 

[Katy09]

Hey hun you're not selfish at all.. you're actually a great loving and caring sister!!
My advice is, you should put your baby #1 and I truly believe your sister will be fine.. of course it'll take time but I'm sure things will get better, considering there are doctors helping your sister out too. You should definitely go and visit your sister as much as you can but don't stress yourself out. You need to have positive thoughts for your baby.. and stress will not help in any way (I'm sure you know that).. I really hope things work out and your sister recovers soon.. good luck hun

 

[Claireyh]

I really have no advice hun, I just wanted to say big hugs and what a fab sister you are!!!





xxx

 

[Soos]

i can only imagine how stressfull it is for u.. Stay strong! But i think that she needs medical professional help first. i mean be there for her, support her, but let the doctors do their job and deal with the most difficult part of the whole thing. U r heavily pregnant, and u simply cant do everything u could a year ago, its physically impossible and dont try to push yourself to ur limits.

 

[SassyLou]

Hi, my hubby is a mental health nurse.
He says "Are you in uk, because obviously he knows how the system works here?'
Don't know if he can offer any advice but feel free to private message me if you want.

He did say 'Get in touch with crisis team and explain your situation, you need to look after yourself and hopefully the should help you to do that. If she does have to be sectioned again, for all its awful for a family to see this happen to a loved one, she hopefully improved last time. If that's whats need for her to improve then for its awful for her family it may be the best thing for her at the time."

Please look after yourself, lots of love and hugs xxx

 

[KittyVentura]

Thank ladies. Your well wishes mean a lot. Things seem much less gloomy having slept on the matters

Sorry, I should have said the "crisis team" are the "men in white coats" so to speak. They're currently making home visits daily assessing her and will section her if she deteriorates further. She's on meds again etc and getting the medical help she needs.

Last year however it wasn't enough. She was in hospital, drugged to the eye balls so she wasn't convinced she was a celebrity anymore but they couldn't get her washing etc. I managed to get her cleaning herself but only through the constant visits and coaxing etc.

Anyway today is a new day. Smiles on xx

 

[Mrs Mayhem]

Hey hun

Hope you are ok, I am a psychiatric nurse and manager of a specialist women's unit, am here for advice if you need me!!
You really need to focus on yourself which I know is so so hard to do when there is such confusion, distress and worry going on, but you have to remember your little one and the fact that when your sister recovers from this episode she would be mortified if she thought you were so stressed and worried whilst pregnant.
if the crisis resolution team are visiting they will be monitoring constantly and will act on any changes, as bad as being sectioned sounds, sometimes it is the only way to help, particularly if your sister is neglecting herself and if her delusions are leading her to danger for herself or others.
Have you tried more telephone contact rather than visiting lots? I know its not the same, but it is a great way of support.
Drop me a line if there is anything I can do,
thinking of you and sending big hugs!!! xx

 

[lushious09]

So sorry your going through this hun, is there no one else who can help though? you really shouldnt have to deal with this pregnant chick its not good for you and the stress and upset isint good... its awful i know as shes so young but shes obviously in the best place and theyl do everything they can to help her... maybe speak to someone yourself to help so your not alone! im so sorry your going through this xx

 

[SaskySprite]

Ok well I am not entirely sure where to start or what to say. I am going to try and be helpful but also realistic so I am really sorry if some of it you'd prefer not to hear! But I think it helps to understand the seriousness of the illness.

I guess firstly I completely understand what you are going through. My sister (who i was v close to) is schizophrenic and had her first episode when she was 20. I strongly believe that drugs set it off. But that was 7/8 years ago and things haven't changed much. But thats her case and everyone who suffers is different.

Secondly, the illness becomes a huge huge strain on the whole family and it goes on and on. We've met lots of other families who are in the same situation and its actually more common than people realise. Lots of families like to hide it away so you never get to hear about it.

You want to support your sister so much and help her see the world normally. but the truth is that you cant. She needs to do it for herself. You'll have a baby arriving soon that you need to concentrate your energies on. The whole thing will be very upsetting and you can hope and pray that she gets through it.

The best form of rehabiliation is for her to continue to try and do normal things, to try and socialise and remember how life should be. My sister lost all her friends and now she has none. She was outgoing and extrovert and so much fun, and now she's depressed and just wants to spend all day in bed. She's forgotton how life should be. And I think thats why she wont ever recover now.

Many people do recover from schizophrenia, i think they say that with each relapse/episode the chance reduces tremendously. Keep her knowing that you are there for her to help her see it through and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Try and get her out and about and doing normal things when the episode has finished. Encourage her to concentrate on her future and her goals in life. Is she enrolled at college or anything?

Does she realise that she is ill?

 

[DottyLottie]

I agree with the others, you are not being at all selfish! Also, there is not a lot you can do help, she needs medical help. I know you want to be there for her, but don't feel bad about balancing that with your needs, you are heavily pregnant, it is a time when you need as little stress as possible, you need to rest and think of LO, no one will vidicate you for that, and you certainly shouldn't feel bad yourself.

I understand about feeling like you have to be "the strong one", people underestimate how vulnerable we feel when heavily pregnant, even the strongest of women need some respite at this time, but most people assume you are as capable and strong as always, if only!

You sounds like a wonderful sister, I hope your sister finds some solace soon and they get her the treatment she needs.
Best of luck XxXxX

 

[KittyVentura]

Thanks for the support and advice ladies.

Just an update, my sister has been admitted today on a section. The hospital is an hours train away which is a bugger but honestly it's the best place for her at the moment.

She'll be fine xx