Our angel is gone 26 weeks

[kerri28]

We went in last Monday everything had been fine, but he couldn't find a heart beat. Still no reason has been found yet. I delivered her and we are waiting to bring her home now from the funeral home. I'm in the worst pain physically and emotionally of my life... I can't leave the bed and this is the first day husband had to return to work. I feel so dead inside I just want to scream. I keep a blanket we held her in in my arms 24/7 with the bear we placed beside her. Every little thing has me crying. I wan this dream to end it has to be a dream!!!!! She was fine! The nursery was even done.. Clothes hung.. god I'm so empty.

 

[Katie1980]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know nothing I say will make any of this easier for you but I just want you to know that everything you are feeling is totally normal and I can't say that time heals all pain but it does get easier, in time you'll find a new sense of normal. I know you're heart is literally breaking but be kind to yourself these upcoming weeks, allow yourself the time to grieve for your baby. Again, I'm so sorry. If you ever need a friend then feel free to call on me. Xxxxx

 

[MumToEva]

Thinking of you Hun

 

[Chris77]

Oh hunni, I am so so very sorry for your loss.

 

[DebbieF]

I am so very sorry for your loss..

 

[Mrs W 11]

I'm so so sorry for your loss

 

[sequeena]

I am so very sorry

 

[slg76]

I can't imagine your heartbreak. I'm so very sorry

 

[jaan613]

*hug hug hug*

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I am so so so sorry for your loss and wish I could say it's a dream. All I can offer is hugs. Please pm me if you want to talk. I have no experience myself, but I have a big heart that can offer support and love. Xxx

 

[Springflower]

I'm so sorry. Terribly unfair I know.

What Katie says is true.

x

 

[xxmyheartxx]

Im so sorry huni, sending big hugs xxx

 

[kerri28]

I'm feeling so torn back and forth day today. Some days I want to just "get over it" but it's not something you get over. I told the counselor I get thoughts about the future about maybe we can try again, but when and how will I mentally handle each day filled with worry? All the tests came back showing no medical reason why she left us.. So according to my doctor meetin with the maternal fetal high risk team for consultation is our next step for the future.. Which we meet with in a week. I just want to hear hope... I want assurance though I know nothing is garunteed as Hannah was monitored close and was healthy...

 

[pcbs777]

I am so sorry...I have lost a little angel myself and it tears u up inside!! I have a little rainbow baby now and she is beautiful...those first weeks r the most difficult..anniversary of baby's death and stuff...everyone is right..what u r feeling is part of the grieving process and its alright to be angry also!!
Love to u xxxx

 

[Izzie74]

We are almost at one year since our loss. It has been the hardest time with Mother's Day, due date anniversary etc. am dreading the one year anniversary. No one can understand how you feel. I took comfort in planning the funeral, finding poems and readings etc. we were able to spend 9 hours with Ben and took loads of photos. I turned these into a photo memory book with the funeral poems. I got his hand and footprint turned into a necklace and OH had a special tattoo. You will never forget, and the sadness can hit at the most unexpected times, but I swear it gets easier over time and you will find a way to deal with your loss. I wish you all the best. X

 

[nessaw]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish I could say more to help but am thinking of you and your family.x

 

[kerri28]

Mondays are the worst. I have yet to leAve bed becUse the tears won't stop today. I think it's because it was a Monday that I woke to her not moving anymore. We meet with the high risk fetal maternal group next week to talk about now and the future... I just want hope to ease my pain and worry.

 

[hmommy219]

I think not having answers has got to be so frustrating.. Were you with a high risk doc before or will this be your first time? I experienced a loss then switched to high risk this time. He's done a lot of blood work on me and I have appointments twice a week.. It's crazy but I'm not complaining! I'm praying for you and sending love...

 

[kerri28]

I think not having answers has got to be so frustrating.. Were you with a high risk doc before or will this be your first time? I experienced a loss then switched to high risk this time. He's done a lot of blood work on me and I have appointments twice a week.. It's crazy but I'm not complaining! I'm praying for you and sending love...

Today marks 1 month since we lost Hannah... And I woke with severe ovulation pain! I always had this and helped with ttc so I am trying to look at it as a sign that we will be given a rainbow baby when we do get the go ahead to try. We meet with OB the 16th and then the 17th we meet with the maternal fetal high risk group. The high risk group dealt with all the testing an delivery at the hospital so we are going to determine if they will fully take me on or if it will be a combo of my OB and them. He works with them all the time and part of the Yale team so I trust they will know what is best to do now. I actually really considering saying screw it all let's try now when I woke with the pain but I want the OK medically.

 

[hmommy219]

I believe in signs too. When I drove to the fertility clinic for the first time after losing my sweet 'Rocky' I actually snapped a photo of this beautiful rainbow in the sky ...it was amazing and filled me with hope. Please let us know how things go on the 16th and 17th! We all want to read your rainbow story because you deserve it!