Overprotective ?

[Jellycat]

Need to know if I'm overreacting

Seen the inlaws twice the past two weeks each time anything I say regarding lo is ignored and mil takes him away from me

Examples

1. Hadn't slept during large family gathering, so I said to dh - think I'll take lo to conservatory where it's quiet see if he will settle. Response was no he's fine, few minutes later passed to mil who immediately stood up and took him to the conservatory

2. Today at family party, kids music lots if guests once again lo hadn't slept and I could see he was getting agitated I said to dh and mil think I might put him in my baby carrier and take him for a walk . Response no he's alright, few minutes later told dh to give mil lo, immediately got the buggy and walked off when asked where she's going said out the front. I said he won't sleep in the buggy whilst walking better just to put him in quiet corner. Go out the front 5 mins later and they weren't there had gone for walk

3. Due feed time and asked if she could feed him . Am I being possessive but it makes me feel like my lo is some kind of doll. Feed time to me I've worked hard for him to eat properly and sip water etc and don't like others feeding him.

4. I then passed mil lo later and she straight away walked off into the games room with him

5. When week old he was crying after his feed and mil clapped her hands took him off me and walked off without saying anything to me. I told dh that was plain rude

6. She calls lo 'my baby'

I'm aware she wants to spend time with him which is why I pass him to her as much as possible but hate the fact that she doesn't listen to what I ask in regards to lo and feel like she takes over with little regard for me .... Am I being over sensitive and protective?

Thanks for letting me rant

Ps I have to tell dh to let his family hold lo as he never let's others hold him so I have to remind him his family don't see him all the time. Also dh said I'm weak and should say if I'm not happy but how can I to my mil.

 

[CeriB]

I don't think you're being over-sensitive at all. You know your LO and know what he needs when he needs it. Its like MIL is trying to out-do you, IYKWIM. I am sure ( ) that she is only doing what she thinks it right and trying to help you out, but it is a bit much.

And the 'my baby' comment did she give birth to him??

Rant away hun!!!!

 

[whoops]

You're not overreacting - is there any way your DH would talk to MIL? Or would you be comfortable being a bit firmer - rather than saying 'I think I'll take LO into the conservatory', say 'I'm going to take LO...' iykwim

 

[bigbetty]

You aren't over-reacting at all love!

I met up with my family yesterday and I got hassle from my mum and sister for not letting them give Fran a little bit of ice cream - she has only been on solids a week ffs! My sister said "Harry was having tastes of vineager and ketchup at her age" - my response was "so what?!!". She also said about how I used to go looking for crisps and chocolate when mum hid them away and that Fran would be the same. I said "yes I did do that but that's because I knew what they tasted like and wanted them. If Fran has never tried them she won't know what she is missing. I want her to eat healthy foods for as long as possible so she doesn't end up obese like me!"

Just stand your ground love and make sure your DH knows he needs to support you in this.

 

[Jellycat]

Thanks guys feel better already just having the rant lol

I think I'm going to be more assertive and say next time rather than kind of seek approval .... I'm confident with lo and know what's best but seem to question myself in big gatherings with dh family. In laws are coming over this week whilst dh is at work so perfect time to practice.

 

[Lightworker]

LO is YOUR baby - put your foot down x

 

[after autumn]

I am going through almost the same thing as you are it sucks because I don't have "back bone" and even thought i want to i dont put my foot down and I get walked over and anything i say doesnt matter..so i would suggest to definitly say something before it gets out of hand!..I even actually caught my MIL say "mommy loves you" as in her not me..ugh nothing made me more mad

 

[Jellycat]

I am going through almost the same thing as you are it sucks because I don't have "back bone" and even thought i want to i dont put my foot down and I get walked over and anything i say doesnt matter..so i would suggest to definitly say something before it gets out of hand!..I even actually caught my MIL say "mommy loves you" as in her not me..ugh nothing made me more mad

Hope you manage to sort things out too

Annoying thing is mil and I had a fantastic relationship until I was two weeks over due and she rang to say how annoying it was having to email people saying her baby wasn't here yet. I was so hormonal and fed up I couldn't even get dressed in the morning on my own and she said that! Relationship has slowly deteriated ever since

I don't get it as my mum appreciates the boundarys and Absolutly besotted with lo without taking control. Just wish mil could do the same.