Overwhelmed by everything.....

[Boomerslady]

Sorry if this turns into a long rant with lots of questions, but I feel soooo overwhelmed.

I had my gorgeous boy on Wednesday (can't update my signature yet!) and I feel like I haven't got a clue!!

I was going to BF but he wouldn't latch on, and I still can't sit down so it's too hard to get into a comfy position. Firstly I'm happy FF but my Mum, Sister and HV all keep going on about how I should keep trying to BF and I should take the bottle away and not give up (I know they are trying to help, but I'm happy FF now and it just makes me feel guilty)

Ben is taking about 3fl oz every 3-4 hours, which I think is enough, but I'm not sure (I make 6 fl ozs) but he doesn't take it. He is spitting up a lot of the formula, occasionally it's a lot....I'm having to change his clothes a good 4 times a day. Oh and also he hasn't done a poo since nearly 24 hours ago....this isn't normal is it?? When should I get worried??

There's sooooo many other questions and so much more I could go on about but I can't keep my eyes open!

Thanks for reading.

 

[flower01]

hey hunny

firstly, dont feel guilty about FF, i tried BF and didnt really get on so switched to formula and felt guilty for doing so but now i dont! i have no idea why i felt guilty but hey ho.
My LO spits up quite a bit, it looks more then it actually is and is normal according to HV, as long as its not LOADS.

My LO also only goes for a poo once a day. when i had 3-4 poo nappys one day i got concerned and rung the doctor who said maybe she had a tummy bug, she wasnt herself at all. Having one pooy nappy a day is fine.

Its only been a few days hun, dont expect it know it all. Im still nervous and a bit clueless at 4 weeks! lol

xxxxxxx

 

[tigerstyle07]

Hi
dont feel guilty...i know its hard..especially since ur full of hormones!! i was a WRECK for the first two week...well, im not much better now lol!

Just wanted to say, my baby is 3 weeks old on tuesday and he hardly ever takes more than 3 oz. About the Bf, why dont u buy a breast pump and express ur milk into a bottle? I was bf exclusively but decided to buy a pump to get a bit of freedom and help(im single) so my mum etc could feed him. And i think the poo thing is normal wi ff babies. With bf babies its after every feed...oh the joys hehe

 

[charliebear]

Congratulations.

Sounds like LO is taking as much as he needs. Are you winding him between oz's? AJ used to spit up more when I didnt wind him enough.
As for BF/FF I'd do what you feel happy with.
Poo's seem normal too, AJ only poo'd every 24hrs too.

Your doing fab.

 

[Connah'sMommy]

Hi hun,first of all keep calm.
Everything you have just described is perfectly normal.
If you are happy to FF then thats great,dont let anyone else influence your decisions.
Connah did not poo for about 4 days when he was first born but he made up for it with a huge poo explosion...so i ould imagine your LO will surprise you with that anytime now lol.
Also babies do spit up alot at first so i wouldn't worry about that either.

As for how much formula he is taking...he will take as much as he needs hun,i use to make up 1oz more than he was taking...e.g if he is taking 3o i made him 4 oz.

If you are worried about anything though i would speak to your HV.

Try not to worry too much hun,im sure your doing great

 

[danni1979]

Hey hunni

Dont feel bad for ff,what evers best for mummy is best for baby
The first few weeks are so blinkin hard,i just felt utterly clueless and had a hotline to 1 of my best mates,lol,its soooo hard.
I remember her crying and people telling e it was ahunger cry etc,and i was like wtf!! I didnt have a clue (well still cant reconginse the cries very much lol)
Try and get as much rest as you possibly can
xx xx

 

[Boomerslady]

Thank you soooo much ladies I'd seriously lose the plot without this place!!

I'm going to try expressing, a friend of my sisters is giving me her electric one, she's just been rubbish at bringing it round. She's promised me tomorrow so fingers crossed....i just hope I actually have milk left in there!!

It's good to know the spit up is normal, itsvreally horrible seeing your baby throwing up, and sounding like thier choking. He sounds like he constantly has a cold (I have no idea if that means anything!) I think my OH freaks me out a bit as he keeps telling me it can't be normal for babies to spit up that much (he has a lot to learn!!!!)

I think I'm struggling so much at the moment as I still can't sit down!! When he starts crying at night all I want to do is sit upright, pick him up and comfort him but I can't!! I kinda have to roll off the bed and do everything standing upright!!

Thanks again for the support, I don't have any friends with babies, except my sister (but everytime I call her I get the BF rant and her slagging off my OH!)

 

[elly75]

Congrats hun on your bundle of joy and everything you've mentioned sounds pretty much normal.

As for BF or FF, do what you feel works best for you and don't let anyone slog you or make you feel bad about making the decision. It's your little one and happy mom = happy baby (and vice versa).

I think a lot of us felt the same way you did when the baby arrived. It is a VERY overwhelming experience. A little baby depends on you for everything. Take one day at a time, enjoy the good times with the not so good.

My little guy spits up from time to time but did a lot when he was a bit younger. This often happened if I didn't burp him well enough and the food was sitting on top of a gas bubble. Poor thing.

I've found this forum invaluable as, like others, I don't have any friends who have children. Others such as relatives want to help but things and guidelines have changed since they've had their little ones so the things they were told or try to suggest no longer apply or might be bad for the little one.

 

[CatStorey]

Oh my god, I totally remember not being able to sit down too, it was awfull. I was having a real hard time breastfeeding too and that just made it worse. Sitting down was agony and I just used to sit with my baby on my breast crying and crying cos I wanted to move but I couldn't. After a few days me and oh took chloe out for a walk and decided to stop for lunch. It was awfull cos we had to leave as I couldn't sit down on the plastic chairs. I had to bring a pillow with me everywhere I went after that ;-( And don't feel bad for ff. I managed 10 days of bf but couldn't handle it anymore, it was making me and in turn chloe so misserable. I don't feel guilty, formula isn't poisen, you just do what's right for you. And I still get the bf lecture from my sis now, she even tried to get me to reastablish after 7 weeks, I don't even know if that's possible!!
The first few weeks are so overwhelming, I just remember crying alot.....lol! Everytime the midwife or hv used to come round I would jet break down in tears. But as the weeks go by it gets easier as you get more confident with you lo and soon this will seem a distant memory. Try your hardest to enjoy it, it goes so fast!
And I still have a million questions now, that's why we love bnb, we always have the lovely ladies here to help ;-)

Good luck x x x

 

[Boomerslady]

Im glad the crying is normal my OH decided yesterday that because I was crying (as he was being an eejit!!) that I have PND. He's convinced it can't just be hormones (and the fact I gave birth a few days ago!)

I'll try burping him for longer next feed, see if that helps. How long are you meant to burp for? Again something I have no idea about!

Oh and OT....my OH finally caved on letting Ben have a dummy....now apart from my OHs snoring the bedroom is quiet, it's heaven!!!

 

[sun]

Don't worry - everything you are experiencing is normal!! I was exhausted, stressed, depressed, hormones all over the place, and had no idea what to do with this little baby. It gets better!!!! Not that I am an expert, but I started relaxing a bit and just going with my instincts and things got much better. Those first few weeks though - I was a total mess. Sometimes Bun would start crying and all I could do is just sit there and cry along with him LOL...

Don't let other people tell you what you "should" be doing. If it works better for you and bubs to formula feed, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do anything else. I also had problems breastfeeding initially - Bun was premature and had low blood sugar and problems latching on. I was very determined to bf though and spend several sleepless nights and days working on it. I will say that people don't emphasize enough how difficult bf can be initially - you really need support. Now I am very glad I persevered to make it work, but that is me. Everyone is different and bf is not right for everyone - so you should really go with your instincts about what to do. As the other ladies have said, expressing is also something you can try!

When it comes to burping, I usually burp mid-feed for about 30 seconds, then after for about a minute or so. I also keep him semi-elevated after feeding for 20min or so and I find this helps with the spitting up.

Congrats on your little boy!!!
xx

 

[goddess25]

First of all Congratulations on the birth of your baby, I am so happy for you.

Secondly everything you are explaining and feeling is probably what the majority of us felt the first week at home. NO matter how well prepared you think you are for this baby its a hard adjustment and i think all of us have felt the same.

Try not to feel guilty about FF, if thats your chosen path and your happy with it, dont let anyone try to talk you out of it and make you feel its the wrong decision. Its obviously the right decision for you.

The spitting up is normal.. just try and wind him a wee bit longer and see if it makes a difference. The pooing is normal for FF babies as long as he has lots of wet nappies during the day time then everything is ok, and in terms of his milk it seems like he is taking what he needs. He would not be settled if he wasnt.

Try not to be too hard on your self. I was a mess the first few weeks trying to cope with this new baby but soon once you get some routines established everything will slot into place.

 

[mum2b2009]

hi hun! it does get better i promise!! you just have to keep telling yourself that and learn by your mistakes,no one knows what to do with their first born. my lo is 5 weeks and i have found it very very hard but things are getting better. enjoy your baby boy!! hope you feel better soon

 

[dali]

hun just wanted to echo everything the others have said , really. my lo was ff from birth and is a strapping healhy toddler, so dont let them make you feel bad , do what is right for you
it is very normal to be tearful while your hormones are still buzzing aroud trying to figure out what to do wit themselves. especially in the firt week or so.

maybe your OH should read a pregnancy / birth book to help him see what is normal, as what you dont need is him telling you you have PND or your sis having a go about bfing ( nothing to do with her)

congrats on your lil man he sounds perfect and you are doing great

 

[aimee-lou]

Congratulations to all of you.

I just wanted to say that you sound like you're doing everything right to me!

Day 4 after Earl was born was the day when all the hormones hit, major baby blues 'what have we done' kind of feelings, tears every 10 minutes, to hysterical laughter.......My hubby thought i'd flipped! It's totally normal though and it gets better. Try to get some rest, have a bath, enjoy some cuddle time with your LO and you'll feel a whole lot better soon, I promise!

As for the feeding, Earl was FF from birth and is a big lad! lol I don't think I would have coped BFing him if I'm honest as he has an apetite on him! You have been responsible and made sure that your LO is happy and fed......you have no reason to feel guilty. I would echo what the others have said and offer him 1oz more than he generally takes, and see how you get on.

Good luck and welll done!

 

[Boomerslady]

Thanks again for all the reassurance ladies.

I guess it doesn't matter how many books you read, nothing can prepare you for tge reality!!

My OH has been really good today, and let me sleep in this morning. I'm starting to feel more human!! Also I don't know why but I hadn't even considered a bath until last night! I think I'll be having 2 or 3 a day from now on!!

Also I called the em doc to see if they could give me anything for my damn piles, and my OH has just gone to get it! I cannot wait for my body to feel better again so I can clean and tidy and just be me!!!

 

[jenny82]

Bit of tea tree oil in the bath too works wonders!

RE: the crying thing. It was my birthdya just over a week after LO was born and I cried solidly for about 2 whole days. I thought I had the onset of pnd too, but it went away after a few days.

Our first weekend home was soooo tough. ANd people tell you this all the time (and I didn't beleive them) but it does get easier! Get your OH to keep an eye on him for a few hours and get some sleep. A little bit of sleep will make the world seem like a much better place

 

[bonbon]

Hey, just wanted to say congratulations on the birth of your lo and to say it is normal to cry!!! For one you are in a lot of pain still, also you have a completely new role as someones mum which is very daunting & scary! And u have loads of hormones rushing through you!!
Fortunately my oh was amazing after my birth as I had an emergency c section and was in lots of pain for a few weeks! Maybe u should give him the opportunity to look after your lo for a whole day and then he will understand your frustrations about not knowing what's best!
As for bf & ff you should do whatever u feel is best for you and your little one. I have found bf very difficult and expressed for a few weeks until life was a bit mire settled and now after 8 weeks we are starting to feel like bf is ok!!! But it was very hard and I don't think anyone should judge you for giving your lo ff, it's your choice! And there are many healthy happy babies that are fed with formula!!

I hope u start to get into the swing of thing soon, I promise it does get much easier and eventually u actually start to enjoy it!!! Lol
take care xxx

 

[andbabymakes3]

Oh honey, bless ya! Everything you are writing is TOTALLY normal.

I cried for the first fortnight off and on. Dont assume its PND, your midwife/hv will keep an eye on that.

Its totally normal to feel completely overwhelmed by the whole thing. I was - and felt like that off and on for prob the first 10/12 weeks. Its a steep learning curve.

As for the ff/bf thing - you do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you really are keen to try to bf but cant sit down, maybe go to bed with your LO and have some skin to skin, let him try to latch on naturally. See how you go from there. The other option is to combination feed, so breast and bottle (which is what I do). If you want advice on how that works, please feel free to PM me (or post on here, theres quite a few of us 'rebels' (lol) who do both!. If you do decide to formula feed, dont you dare let anyone tell you that you've done wrong. He is your baby, its your body, your sanity. Whatever works for you and Ben is just perfect.

 

[inxsmhpy]

Congratulations!!! I cried for most of the last part of the first week then the whole of the second and I mean virtually non stop.....I find I still feel real weepy if I'm tired now. I intended to formula feed only but I let a midwife persuade me to ff and bf and now I'm totally confused!!!! I feel like I never really know how much she'd had and another midwife told me it is hard on LO's stomachs.....I feel like I'm letting my baby down all the time